We are Epic
by RAWRxIMAxDINOSAUR
Summary: You're spread out in Logan’s bed with the covers of his bed wrapped around your naked body tightly. Was previously 'Lying To Yourself' OneShot. Now contains 'Telling The Truth' and other chapters. LoVe.
1. Lying To Yourself

**Disclaimer- **I do not own Veronica Mars or the original character.

**Rating-** M - contains sexual refrences and some swearing.

* * *

His eyes are watching you from his seat in the classroom, burning deep, black holes into your smooth skin. You're facing the front and he's two rows behind you, but you can feel his stare, you can feel the heat of his gaze on your back, you know he's staring at you, even if he doesn't know himself. The bell to end the day sounds and as everyone gets up and leaves you stay, waiting for him to leave before you do, to save having to talk to him.

You walk outside the classroom with your books in your hands, the hallways are mostly deserted now. Your shoes make rather loud clacking sounds on the floors as you walk briskly to your locker. As your mind wanders you don't see Wallace head towards you and you almost run into him. You apologise as he starts rattling on about how he can't come over tonight to watch thriller movies with you because he has a date. Really, you don't mind, you're not really in the mood to watch thriller movies anymore and having the house to yourself sounds much more appealing at the moment.

Wallace walks you to the empty car park (save a few cars) and says goodbye as he walks to his own car. As you get in your car you see Logan Echolls approaching you. You ask yourself what he's doing here still just before he taps on your window with that familiar (and oh-so-charming) smirk of his. You ignore him at first, keeping your eye sight trained on the windscreen as you desperately try to start your car.

Logan doesn't leave, he taps again, harder this time, he's growing impatient. Eventually you grow tired of his tapping and you wind down your window, he sticks his head in the window. You pull back and give him a look of clear disgust you remind yourself that you hate him.

"Where you going Mars?" He asks you, smirking still.

You don't reply, you ignore him and attempt to start your car again. This time it starts and you glare at him, telling him with your mind to get out before you drive off and take his head with you. He gets the picture and retracts his head from your window, waving at you with sarcasm then flipping you off as you drive out of the school grounds.

When you get home your dad is waiting for you. His bags are packed and waiting by the door. He smiles slightly at you, you know he's angry at you for being late home because now he's going to be late to the airport and if he doesn't hurry he might miss his plane.

"I have to go sweetie" He tells you, kissing your forehead like he always does.

To him your still his little princess. You're not the ice cold bitch you've become ever since your best friend was murdered and you're still pure and innocent.

"I love you" You call to him as he gets in the cab.

"I love you too" He replies, waving as the cab drives off.

Finally you are home alone, thankful for the four days your dad will be gone. Although you love your dad, you hate how over protective he is of you and how he can tell when you are lying to him.

Your cell phone rings, you silently curse whoever it is because you now have a peaceful, silent house to yourself and you're being disturbed. You pick it up and read the caller ID it's Duncan. You didn't tell him you were home alone because you knew he'd want to come and 'keep you company', truthfully you don't want to spend your four days without your dad fucking Duncan.

"Hey"

"Hey baby, what you doing?"

"Hanging out with my dad" You lie easily.

"Oh. I was going to see if you wanted to come to dinner with me"

"Sorry, I promised dad I'd spend some quality time with him"

"What about tomorrow?"

"I'll see. I have to go"

"I love you" It rolls off his tongue so easily.

"I love you too" Yours feels like vomit.

Your house is finally quiet as you settle into the silence. You flip through a magazine, but your mind wanders to food. You could cook something or you could order a pizza, you opt for a pizza, having decided that you really don't want to wash the dishes later.

You dial the number and order your pizza, hanging up and settling into the couch for a few silent moments. You turn the television on and decide on a channel. The channel you are watching is playing an old fashioned black and white movie.

The movie is in French, you can't understand it and it doesn't have subtitles, but you think that the woman cheated on the man and they are arguing over it. There's a child watching the fight, it reminds you of when your mom and dad used to fight and you could see them.

Your door bell rings, you get up and grab some money from your purse to pay for the pizza. As you open the door you fumble for the money. When you look up it is not the pizza guy you're staring at, it's Logan, wearing the same smirk he had been wearing earlier.

"Home alone are we Veronica?"

"Yes"

"May I come in?"

He doesn't wait for you to reply, instead he pushes you aside and comes in. You slam the door and glare in his direction, he notices and only smiles at you.

"What are you doing here?" You ask him.

"Just came to visit you? Am I not allowed to?"

"No, you're not allowed to"

Your eyes glance over his strong body, for a second you wish it was him you constantly slept with and not Duncan, because from what people say Logan is much better in bed than Duncan and you wouldn't doubt the rumours for one second. As soon as your thought is over you immediately want to throw up for thinking about Logan like that.

"Where's Duncan? I would have thought he'd be over here with you whilst your dear old daddy is away"

"I felt like spending some time alone" You tell him, growing cautious of how he's moved inches closer to you.

He's now 3 steps away from you, his back is to the door, you can't really make a run for it, even if you desperately wanted to. The only way out of this is going past him to the door, unless you wanted to climb out a window.

"I think" He starts to say to you, stepping one step closer. His voice is almost a whisper now. "You just didn't want him all over you tonight"

Logan reads your mind, but you won't give him the credit of knowing what you didn't want because you hate him, you despise him and his ego is much too big already.

"That's…that's not it" You stutter, much to your dismay.

There's a knock on the door, Logan stands still, smiling at you. You breeze past him, your skins touch ever so slightly as you open the door. The pizza guy gives you your pizza and you give him the money. He's left before you can thank him.

Logan eyes you as you carefully place the pizza on the bench, you're not so hungry now. In fact you think that if you ate right now you'd probably throw it up right on the spot.

It's only then you realise that Logan has advanced closer to you, he's standing behind you, a step closer and his body would be flush up against your own. You turn around, your back arches into the corner of the bench, it's an unpleasant feeling, but you'd much rather have the pain of the bench in your back then be any closer to Logan Echolls.

"I don't mean to pry…actually I do. Where's Mr. Mars this evening?"

"He's gone away for four days" You reply stupidly without thinking of what Logan might make of this.

"Oh, so I suppose Duncan's going to be over here tomorrow, groping you helplessly. He never knew how to pleasure woman"

You know he's baiting you, stringing you along so you'll reply with a retort to fuel him. You reply anyway.

"And I suppose you do? The only thing you know how to do Logan is get drunk"

He gives out a low laugh from the back of his throat, it arouses you slightly but you don't let him know that.

"Veronica, I could have you begging for my cock in your cunt whenever I wanted to" He replies with foul language.

Again, he's baiting you, wanting you to reply so you can fall into his trap. You know if you fall into his trap you'll be on your hands and knees any minute with Logan fucking you from behind. Strangely you want it to happen, but if it does you know you'll regret it.

"I suppose this is the part where you want me to tell you to that I'd like to see you try, or something along the lines of that"

"I never said that"

"You didn't have to"

He takes his hand from his jacket pocket and reaches out for your face, but you don't let him. You move from him and stand further away, your back is up against the wall now, you wish you'd chosen to run instead of stay.

Logan taps his hands on the bench, a slow smirk reaches his face. You notice his long fingers, you wonder what they'd feel like inside of you, pumping into you quickly, pushing you over the edge. You cringe at the thought once you realise what you were thinking, he notices and looks at you with puzzled eyes.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing"

He gives that laugh again and you find yourself wanting to touch him, or for you to be able to have him touch you.

"If you were so happy to be alone tonight why haven't you told me to get lost?" Logan asks you, breaking the distance between you and moving so close that you can feel his hot breath.

One part of you wants to scream rape, leave and go to Duncan, have him make those thoughts of Logan on top of you go away. The most part of you wants to wrap your legs around Logan's waist and have him devour your body with his mouth.

"I…I…" You have nothing to say because you don't want him to leave.

"You don't want me to leave, Mars"

His body is lightly pressed against your own, his chest his heaving. His arms are pinned either side of you, trapping you in front of him. You don't know whether it's called trapping though, you don't really want to leave that position. Logan's head reaches your neck, but he doesn't kiss it, he simply breathes, arousing you with his breath on your neck.

"Yes" No, you say to yourself.

You find your hands are reaching up to wrap around his neck, you want them to stop, but it seems like they have a mind of their own now. He welcomes them, finally kissing your neck softly. You can remember Duncan doing that last time you had sex with him, but it didn't send shivers down your spine like Logan's kiss did.

His kisses reach the corner of your mouth, your lips turn up into a smile, you wish you could wipe it off your pretty face and smack Logan. His lips finally touch yours and it's so different to when Duncan kisses you. Logan seems to taste better, or maybe it's just your clouded thoughts.

Your cell phone rings again, it's not in your reach but Logan stops so you can pick it up. You don't even look at the caller ID before you pick it up, it's Duncan again.

"Hey Duncan" You linger on Duncan's name so Logan hears it.

He does but he only smirks playfully, pushing the pizza to the floor and picking you up only to place you on the bench. It's warm from the pizza. He gets to his knees in front of you and smiles mischievously, you know what he's planned and you know you should get off the phone to Duncan before he suspects something, but something inside wants to stay on the phone because the feelings of doing this while being on the phone to your boyfriend is very arousing.

"No…nothing, I'm just about to go have a shower actually"

You lie casually and Duncan doesn't suspect a thing. Logan's on his knees, fumbling with your jeans trying desperately to get them off so he can show you how to pleasure a girl properly. You're as eager as he is but you like to see him struggle.

"My dad's here, you can't just come over and shower with me" You giggle, but it's not from Duncan who just suggested he should come over and shower with you, but from Logan whose worked his magic now and is kissing that ticklish spot on your hip.

Your pants are around your ankles now, you kick them off with ease gasping as Logan kisses up your thigh. Your boyfriend asks what's going on but you just tell him you thought you saw a spider. He believes you and laughs, laughs at the fact that Veronica Mars is afraid of spiders.

"Duncan…can we speak later? I'm…oh…uh a little busy right now"

Logan's fingers have moved inside your panties now and you're struggling to keep from moaning. Duncan suspects something is going and he comes out and asks you what's going on.

"Nothing…I'm just…" You struggle for an answer. "Touching myself" You tell him, mentally hitting yourself.

Logan all but laughs at you, completely stopping his actions to gawk at you, you kick him playfully. Duncan makes a funny gasp but that you can only put to as shock or surprise maybe.

"Thinking of me?" Duncan asks you.

You can hear Duncan move to slide off his pants, you know he's going to get off whilst talking to you on the phone.

"Yes" You stare at Logan, saying yes to Logan not to Duncan.

Your panties drop to the floor as Logan rips them off with his teeth, Duncan's muttering words to you through the phone but you're not listening, you're too caught up in Logan's tongue raking over your hot cunt.

You can't take this anymore, you just want to rip Logan's clothes off and have him fuck you so hard on this bench right now.

"Duncan…I have to go…my…uh…dad is calling me"

You hang up before your boyfriend can tell you he loves you, but you don't mind because you don't want to hear it and you most definitely do not want to say it to him. Logan's pants are off now, he's managed to get them off whilst still working his magic on you.

As he discards his black boxers from his legs you can not help but stare at the rather large erection he possesses. He notices you staring and only laughs, he knows he is a lot bigger than Duncan, but he also knows you don't mind.

Both your top and bra, along with his top become discarded alongside the other garments you've taken off each other tonight. You're now both naked, admiring each other's body.

"You're so…"

You stop him. Sentiments aren't his thing, you get this. He doesn't have to call you beautiful or tell you he loves you because you know he doesn't think you're as good looking as all his other fucks and you certainly know he doesn't love you.

"You don't have to. Sentiments aren't your thing Logan"

He traces your collarbone with those fingers that you secretly thought of inside you. You can smell yourself on his fingers but oddly it doesn't turn you off.

"I was not just being a gentleman, Veronica. I was actually going to say something nice to you but have it your way" He does that throaty laugh, the one that aroused you.

You pull him closer with your legs, wrapping them around his waist as your hand snakes its way to his erection. His cock is larger than Duncan's not only in size but in thickness, you wonder for a second how much it's going to hurt.

As if he can read your mind he reassures you that he'll go slow at first and be gentle. You don't like that Logan, the one who cares about people. You want the Logan that wants to just fuck, because then you won't feel so guilty afterwards when you're lying in Logan's arms, entangled in his legs and breathing heavily after orgasming.

He starts to moan, you've never heard something so…arousing? No, that's not the right word for it, you can't find a word to describe. You settle on arousing because for now, until your brain starts working again it's the best fit word.

"Fuck me, Logan" You whisper in his ear, licking up his neck.

His tongue makes its way to your neck and suddenly he's devouring your neck like there's not tomorrow. He finds that spot…that spot that makes you wild when touched in the right way. You throw your head back in ecstasy and groan in a way you've never done before.

A hand reaches onto your back, it's slightly cold but you can tell it's Logan's just by the feel of it. His fingers dance on your back like they're performing a dance for you.

Your hands leave his erection because you can not think anymore, you can not co-ordinate your hands and your mind because all your thoughts have been over taken with the pleasure that Logan was inflicting on you right now.

You feel Logan get closer, his erection is touching your thigh now. He doesn't have a condom on but you can't find words to tell him to put one on, you don't have one anyway. You remember a sex ed class you had a few years back about the consequences that come with un protected sex; AIDS, STD's, pregnancy. Your luck, Logan will have them all and she'll wind up pregnant and riddled with sexually transmitted diseases. All those thoughts are gone when he enters you for the first time.

You can feel the tightness, how he's much too big for you. It's hurts a little, or a lot but you don't want him to stop. You want it to hurt, you want him to make you scream and cry and have you wake up the next morning in pain. He feels you wince and slows his pace, slowly moving in and out of you. You wonder if it's just you he's like this with or if he does the same for every other girl. You doubt that. It is, Logan Echolls after all.

Once he's fastened his pace a little you can feel the pleasure start to over come you, you're gripping onto his back so hard that you think you'll leave scars. You almost laugh at the image of Logan explaining that to whoever asks. Although he'd probably tell the truth to anyone who'll listen and tell everyone how much of a vixen you are in bed so you retract your nails and grip on the edge of the bench instead, at least the marks will be almost un noticeable.

As Logan deepens his movements you think about how terrible it'd be if your dad walked in right now…or Duncan. You think about Duncan, how much he loves you and how much you care for him. He'd be hurt by you fucking his best friend. You feel like a cheap slut right now.

"Logan" You moan, opening your eyes to stare into his. "I'm not a slut…this…this is a once off thing" You tell him sternly.

"I know" He gasps as you tighten around him.

He picks you up off the bench and starts walking towards your bedroom. You wonder how he knows where it is, but then again this was Logan you are with and not some idiot. On your way to your bedroom he trips and you end up on the floor with him crushing your body beneath his own.

"Logan" You gasp for air.

"Sorry" He mumbles.

He goes to pick you up again but you tell him not to, you tell him you want to fuck him here on the floor. He hovers above you, kissing your chest, nipping at your nipples and then flicking his tongue over them.

It amazes you how skilled he is with his fingers, his tongue…his cock but then again he's, Logan and he's been charming girls into bed since he hit puberty. You hate yourself for being another girl to add to his list, but somehow you know you're better than those girls, or you mean more to Logan then they did.

Your emotions go into over drive and along with feeling hateful, angry and horny you add guilt to the list. Guilt for the Kane siblings, guilt for Duncan because he's your boyfriend and you're cheating on him with his best friend and then guilt for Lilly, who was your best friend and now you're fucking her boyfriend.

He's quickening his moves, you can tell he's close to cumming. He's trying to hold off as long as possible, this is not the Logan you know. The Logan you know would get himself off and wouldn't care if you got your high or not. It's strange how you want the old Logan and not this Logan.

"Logan…Logan" You repeat over and over like a scratched CD.

You can feel your release coming fast, your body is becoming limp. There's sweat building on your forehead, Logan wipes it away with his hand.

He comes before you do, convulsing on top of you, pumping into you and gasping your name, struggling for air. You feel him fill you and that is what gets you off, that is what brings you the edge. The feeling of Logan filling you is what finally bought you to that high.

You yell out his name, just as he did yours, only you're filling the gaps with 'oh's' and 'ah's' instead of breathing. You claw at his back, you don't care anymore if people notice and if he tells people, you just want to get lost in him.

Your bodies crumble into each other, heavily breathing with closed eyes. Your legs are entangled and you're in Logan's arms, they're wrapped around you like you're his property now, only you're not, yoi never were to begin with.

"Veronica" He breathes out once more.

"Tell anyone and I'll kick your ass Logan" You tell him, swearing to god you'll kill him if he so much as breathes a word as to what happened.

"Is this what you're like with Duncan after you guys have done the dirty?"

He pries into your life like it's his own. He has no right to know what you and Duncan do before, during and after sex but somehow you find yourself telling him anyway.

"No. By now I'm usually home" You laugh at yourself.

Duncan would have lasted 10 minutes. As much as you hate to admit it Logan is a much better fuck and you're glad you have the comparison now.

"I told you I could fuck you"

"You said on all fours, me begging for your cock in my cunt, I don't believe that happened"

"We can arrange for that" He smirks, kissing your side.

You giggle as his fingers dance across your ribs. You know this is wrong, you know it was bad enough for you to do it once with Logan let alone twice but you can't help but want Logan to fuck you on all fours. He's turned you into someone else.

Your brain starts to work again and you finally gain some sense and stop him from getting to you again. You unsteadily sit up, resting on your elbow as he goofily admires your naked form. Your eyes wander to his waist, you blush slightly when he notices what you're looking at.

"Stop, Logan" His fingers retract from your side and rest on the ground.

"What's the matter, Mars?"

"I hate you. I don't want you. This was a mistake"

"You're awfully sexy when you lie" He tells you, kissing your shoulder.

You open your mouth to tell him you're not lying, but you know he won't believe you anyway. You know he thinks he knows everything, his ego is as big as his fortune.

"Stop lying to yourself, Mars. You want me bad"

Yes, stop lying to yourself you repeat in your head several times, staring blankly at the naked Logan in front of you. You want him as bad as he wants you. You always have. You always will.

He's Logan Echolls, you don't hate him, you don't despise him. You want him, you wish it was him with you every weekend in bed, you wish it was him kissing you goodnight after dates and you wish it was him who'd tell you he loves you after a phone call. Then maybe you wouldn't be lying when you said it back.

Stop lying to yourself Veronica Mars.

* * *

And there it is, my first non-Cruel Intentions fic. It's only a one shot, but what can I say? I'm learning to write other characters. :P

Reviews are appreciated; maybe I'll write another Veronica Mars fic if I get good reviews.


	2. Telling The Truth

You're spread out in Logan's bed with the covers of his bed wrapped around your naked body tightly, he's standing at the end of the bed with only his boxers on and a delicious smirk on those tasteful lips he possesses. Your eyes are analysing every inch of his body carefully, your mind is blank and you don't hear him talking to you.

"Hey!" He yells, throwing a pillow at you that had landed on the floor when you and he were having sex.

The pillow catches your attention and your eyes stop raking over his half naked form long enough for him to talk to you.

"You better go before Duncan gets home"

"I'd prefer to stay here fucking you" You purr to him.

You uncover your body from the blankets and get on your hands and knees and crawl towards him. This is what Logan Echolls has done to you, he's made you into a sex crazed, horny teenager.

"I'd love nothing more but to have you on your knees sucking me off Veronica, but if your boyfriend comes home to find you in my bed he'll kick me out and kill you"

You get off the bed and pick up your clothes that were thrown across the room. Logan watches you pull on your jeans and t-shirt from the other side of the room.

You don't know what you're doing here exactly. You came over to see if you left your jacket here the other night when you came to see Duncan and instead ended up in Logan's bed letting him do things to you that you've never heard of.

You venture out into the living room, Logan follows you, he's staring at your ass as you walk.

"Have you seen my shoes?" You inquire, searching the room.

Logan shrugs.

Your shoes are by the couch; you see them and quickly put them on. You were supposed to be home over and hour ago, you're surprised your dad hasn't called to see where you are yet.

Logan kisses you passionately, groping you at the same time and for a few seconds you're tempted to throw him down and ride him like you did a few days ago. Fucking Logan has become a normal routine for you now, it's like brushing your teeth.

"Logan" You manage in between a kiss. "I have…" His hands are under your shirt. "To go"

You push him away. This affair between you and Logan has been going on for a month now. You've had sex with him more times then you have with Duncan. You've done it with Logan in places you never thought you would, places like the girls' bathroom.

"I'll call you later maybe. Maybe you can swing by to see Duncan again" His mouth turns up into a coy smile.

"Logan Echolls, are you suggesting having sexual intercourse with me? Well I never!" You exclaim sarcastically before leaving Logan's (and Duncan's) apartment.

You get home to your dad eating spaghetti on the couch.

"Hey dad, sorry I'm late"

"You were supposed to be home an hour ago, Veronica. Where have you been?"

"At Duncan's, we were watching a movie and I lost track of time. I wasn't aware my curfew was 6.00pm" You reply sarcastically, sitting down with a bowl of spaghetti.

He gives you a disapproving look but says nothing. You know you've won because he forgets all about you being home late as soon as you start discussing a new client your dad acquired today.

It becomes late and you kiss your dad goodnight before heading to your own bed. You reach your bed and almost collapse there out of exhaustion from your day. As soon as your eyes close your cell phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Miss Mars, I believe you left your panties here" You hear Logan's voice on the other end.

"Logan Echolls, I do believe that you are interrupting what I like to call _quiet_ time"

"Is this the time where you play with yourself?"

"Logan!" You shriek at his comment.

"What? I know you do Veronica. Don't worry I touch myself too. Usually late at night when I can't have my cock buried in your cunt" He says this so casually.

"Is there ever a moment when sex isn't on your mind?"

"Well…no not really"

"Typical" You retort, undressing to put on your Felix the cat pyjama pants.

"What are you doing?"

"Why? Miss me already? Never would have picked you for that type of person Echolls"

"I was just wondering what you are doing, Mars"

"I'm getting dressed" You tell him, even though you shouldn't because he'll make some sexual innuendo out of it.

"Oh did I miss out on Veronica time? Damn, I was hoping I could get you off over the phone" See.

"Why get me off over the phone when you can do it for yourself?"

"It's a bit hard to have you riding me, Mars when you're at your house and I'm at mine"

You giggle. Logan makes you giggle. "You could sneak over. My dad's asleep"

You hear Logan unzip his pants and throw them to the floor carelessly. "Thanks Veronica, but I'd rather keep my life. I don't really like the idea of your dad finding us in bed together…especially when he owns a gun"

"Are you scared of my dad Logan?"

The fact that Logan is scared of your dad amuses you. Logan is not scared of anything. He'd easily turn a gun on anyone and you're sure he wouldn't be scared if someone turned one on him.

"No" He lies, you can tell.

"You so are"

"I'm going to have a shower"

"Without me? Ouch"

"You're welcome to join me"

You actually think about it. You're dad is asleep, you could easily sneak out for a few hours. The only problem is getting in Logan and Duncan's apartment without Duncan seeing you and even if you get in you have the problem of how to get out afterwards.

"Isn't Duncan home?"

"Yeah, but we can work around him. Don't you like the idea of your legs wrapped around me as I'm pumping into you?" He asks you seductively.

The groan in your throat escapes. "Fine, I'll be over in 15 minutes"

You hang up and quickly get changed into a pair of jeans and a shirt. You find your keys and tip toe out into your lounge room. Your dad is still asleep on the couch. You open the front door and carefully get out without waking your dad. You hurry to your car because if your dad is awake now he'll notice and come after you.

When you arrive out the front of Logan and Duncan's apartment you almost knock on the door.

Instead you ring Logan.

"I'm at your door" You hiss as he answers.

"Let me distract Duncan for a second…hold on"

You wait a minute or two for Logan to tell you to come in. You can hear Duncan's protests of being told to go to his bedroom because Logan has a girl coming over who doesn't know he has a roommate. Finally Duncan agrees and Logan comes back on the line.

"Okay, he's in his bedroom. You can come in"

It's not long before you've snuck inside their apartment and you're frantically stripping off your clothes whilst Logan watches you from the shower. He's smirking at you and it makes you want to fall to your knees.

"Are you going to get in or did I waste my time inviting you over?"

You can't hide the fact that his comment hurt you, it was rude and made you feel like you were his whore…which is basically what you are to him because lets face it, you know Logan doesn't have any feelings for you he's just using you. Aren't you using him?

"Waste your time? You mean you just don't want to spend some quality time with me?" You try to sound sarcastic.

"Veronica, honestly I think I'd end up killing you if I had to spend more than one hour with you wherein we weren't fucking" He starts. Your hearts sinks for some reason. It shouldn't, you don't love him, hell you can barely stand Logan Echolls. "I think you'd end up killing me" He finishes finally, gesturing for you to join him.

"Logan, can I ask you something" You say, joining him under the hot water.

"Shoot"

"What are we doing?"

"You're about you get on your knees and put that pretty little mouth to work"

You hit him on his chest. That was insensitive, he knows what you mean but he's avoiding it because he doesn't know what's happening, he knows less than you do.

"You know what I mean Logan"

"Can we scrap the sentimental shit and just fuck? My dick is so hard, if you don't get me off soon I'm going to have to kick you out of my shower and get myself off"

"You're such a pig"

"You're such a bitch" He retorts back.

"You know there was a second there where I thought maybe you actually felt something and maybe you don't see me as your personal prostitute, unfortunately for the both of us I was wrong. Have fun with your hand, Logan"

Confidently, you stride out of the shower and wrap a towel around your dripping body and venture into his dark bedroom. After drying yourself thoroughly you start to dress yourself. Logan, eventually comes out of his bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and a small smile on his handsome face.

"We never got to fuck" He complains, running his hand through his damp hair.

You can't help but react. "I know, Logan. That's why I'm leaving. I don't want to be your slave any longer"

"Fine, fuck off then. There's plenty of other girls who'd give anything to screw me"

This is why you hate Logan Echolls and that is only one of the reasons. You have many other reasons you could rattle off on why Logan is one of your least – no he is your least favourite person.

As you make a run for the door with tears threatening to streak your face he calls out to you.

"Wait!"

You turn around slowly.

"I'm sorry"

"That's not good enough Logan. I've been going behind _my_ boyfriend's back to fuck you. I've been jeopardising _my_ relationship for you. For what? So you can have me on all fours? It's really demeaning to have someone use you as their sex toy. I don't know what I want, but I certainly don't want to be treated like a whore"

"And that's my fault how? You come here dressed in your mini-skirts and tight jeans, what do you expect me to do Veronica?"

"Control your hormones"

"How can I do that when you come over here seducing me and undressing yourself in front of me?"

"I do not!"

"Sometimes I think in your past life you were a slut"

You gasp and walk over to him. Your hand meets his face with a loud _Thwack_.

"I hate you Logan Echolls"

His eyes stare down at you, penetrating deep beneath your skin, like he's reading you, analysing every part of you. You only stare back at him with fury in your eyes, how dare he call you a slut even if he did say in your past life.

"No you don't" He whispers.

Then he kisses you.

Then you kiss him back.

Then suddenly your tongue is in his mouth, tasting him, wanting him, needing him. This is when you and Logan are at your best.

"I hate you" You repeat.

His mouth moves to your neck and he starts to ravish you in ways only he can. You're thinking about Duncan, about how he's only across the apartment and you're cheating on him. Duncan, Logan, Duncan, Logan. Logan, definitely Logan.

He's suddenly taking of your pants and then your t-shirt, peeling them away from your skin and throwing them over his shoulder because he doesn't care if they get screwed up. You're now in your underwear and surprisingly after all the times you've been naked in front of Logan you still fill bashful.

Both your movements slow down as he pulls you by your waist to the bed, you fall gracefully onto the comfortable mattress of Logan's bed. He stands at the foot of the bed admiring your body, tracing it in the air with his fingers.

"Your feet…your legs…your stomach…your breasts…your neck…your hair…your face…all beautiful" He whispers so softly that you feel the need for him to repeat himself just in case you missed something.

"Logan" You're breathless already and you haven't even started.

By now he's sick of playing nice, he's sick of being careful with you. You can see the mischief in his eyes, the raw need to be rough. You get to your knees and place your hands at the top of the towel on his waist and whip it off. He gasps from the cold air that strikes him.

"Mmm, I do like when you're naked" You tell him, kissing his chest.

He pushes you down roughly onto the bed and nibbles on your neck, your moan and groan until he stops when he comes to your bra. He fiddles with the clasp growling when it won't undo, you giggle and run your hands through his hair.

"Damn your under garments Miss Mars"

Finally he releases your breasts and takes one in each hand, taking care of both equally. He ravishes one with his mouth first and then pays the same attention to the other, nibbling on your nipples as you gasp and giggle.

"Panties, Logan" You groan, raking your nails over his back.

His mouth reaches the inner sides of your thigh and your mind stops working, like it does every time Logan's doing that to you. He stops at your panties and smirks.

"Rip them" You laugh.

"You won't have anything to wear when you go home"

"I don't care. Rip them"

He does as you tell him to and then throws the ripped material to the floor, they land on a chair near his bed.

"Logan" You moan as Logan's tongue becomes engrossed in your dripping pussy.

His hands connect to your hips, he's trying to get you to stay still but it's almost impossible with his tongue inside of you. Eventually he stops and stands up at the foot of the bed again, you can see how hard he is.

"My turn" He says, running his hand up the shaft of his cock.

You crawl towards him and get on your knees. Your back is to Logan and he leans down to kiss your neck, his hands circle around your abdomen. You lean your head back and moan as his hands move down further.

"Grab me" He orders you.

Your hands snake behind you and you grasp his erection in your small hands. Your still wet hair clings to Logan's body and his hands move all over your body. You moan together, each crying out a form of pleasure filled cries.

"Hands and knees now" He tells you, letting go of you. "It just occurred to me I never had you on your hands and knees with my cock inside you like I said I would"

Your lips are pursed together as you obediently fall forward on to your hands. He spreads your legs apart wider, his fingers run along your wet hole and he thrusts a few fingers into you, making sure you're ready for him.

Without hesitation he pushes inside of you from behind, you feel the tightness from him being inside of you and you hold in the need for you to tell him to stop.

Logan leans over you, his chest is pressing against your back as he kisses your neck. His hands are at your waist, holding you in place as his thrusts get faster and deeper. He lifts his head and grabs your hair in his right hand, pulling your head back.

"Veronica" He moans.

"Harder, Logan" You demand.

Your hand reaches underneath you and you start rubbing yourself, giving more pleasure to your body. You cry out loudly, loud enough for Duncan to hear.

"Logan, keep your bitch down!" He yells over the top of both of you.

Logan's hand goes to your mouth, he knows you were going to say something back to Duncan but that could have fucked this all up so he stopped you. When he lets go you gasp for breath and scowl at Logan. He's still fucking you.

"Oh fuck" He groans.

He pulls completely out of you and then pushes in you harder and faster than he had before, you almost scream in pain and pleasure. He doesn't even ask you if your okay, you're most certain that he has noticed the pain in your voice.

"I'm…oh….Veronica" He growls, releasing inside of you.

You feel the familiar liquid fill you again and that reminds you he wasn't wearing a condom. You cum just after he does, moaning his name quietly and clutching onto the covers of his bed like it was going to save your life or something.

He finishes and collapses on the bed silently, sweat slowly sliding down the side of his face, you wipe it off as you lay down beside him. He closes his eyes, he looks like he's concentrating on something and for the first time in your life you don't want to say anything to him to disturb him.

"Veronica?" His voice is almost a whisper.

"Mhmm?"

"You're one amazing…fuck"

You know that he's not telling you something, he wants to but he can't get it out and you want him to tell you.

"Do you have something to tell me Logan?"

"No" He looks at you.

"Tell me" You demand, growing angry that he won't confide in you after all you guys have been through.

He sits up and rest on one elbow facing you. He smiles like he's thinking of something and then touches your face gently with a light caress that you've never had him do to you – or never seen him do to anyone else. Not even Lilly.

Ah yes, Lilly. What would Lilly tell you now? Would she tell you congrats on bagging her boyfriend? You know she never really loved him, not like he loved her. She would tell you that she would cheat on him, hook up with guys much older than herself and she'd never regret cheating on Logan, not once. You'd secretly hate her then because at the time, you thought Logan deserved so much better than to be treated like that. Now you know he doesn't. He's changed.

"I'm sorry" He finally says, his hand has stopped caressing your face.

"For what?" You ask inquisitively.

"For treating you like my whore. You're not my whore, Veronica, or anyone's for that matter"

"Don't worry about. I was just being stupid. I know what this is, it's nothing more than a casual fuck"

He watches you carefully, your eyes stare down at your hands which are playing with the covers of his bed nervously. He takes your hand and takes it to his mouth, kissing your fingertips lightly.

"You know I'm not one for sentimentality, Veronica but I don't think of you as a casual fuck. I don't know what you are to me, but you're more than a fuck"

Your lips turn up into a smile and you touch his jaw line, tracing it with your fingertips then kissing where you had touched.

"Are you telling me you like me, Mr. Echolls?"

"I suppose I am, Miss. Mars"

Your phone rings loudly from your bag on the floor, your ring tone that you set for Duncan plays. _Fuck_, you think. You quickly scramble out of Logan's bed not bothering to cover yourself with the sheets because you're more worried about Duncan hearing your phone ring in Logan's room then Logan staring at your naked body.

"Hey baby" You say quietly, hoping he won't notice you're in the next room.

"Hey, where are you? I thought I heard your phone ring"

"Um, I'm at home. That's strange baby, maybe you're hearing things"

"Hmm, maybe. I was hoping I could come over, Logan has this girl here and they're making an awful lot of noise" You blush slightly.

Logan comes from behind you and places a strategically placed kiss on your neck, your groan loudly and Duncan hears it both through the phone and outside the room.

"Veronica? Are you in Logan's room?"

"No…I'm at home, I told you that" Logan paws at your body.

"I could have sworn…" Logan's door opens and Duncan's standing there in the doorway staring at both you and Logan.

At first, Logan doesn't notice, he goes along kissing down your chest and it's not until you hiss at him to stop before he looks up and notices your boyfriend…soon to not be boyfriend standing there.

"Oh hey man. Veronica and I were just…"

"Screwing behind my back?"

You blush and grab the first thing you can to cover your body, it ends up being a shirt Logan had left on the floor. It swims on you and reaches your thighs.

"Duncan let me explain"

"Veronica, I really don't know what to say. This is my best friend, he's…your…I was in the next room. How could you? I love you"

"I'm sorry. Duncan, I really am. This is the first time I swear, it was a stupid mistake"

Your hands reach out to touch his face but he pushes you away disgustingly and almost spits on you. Logan scoffs because he knows this isn't the first time.

"Tell the truth Veronica. Is this the first time you've slept with Logan"

"Yes" You reply.

"You're such a liar Veronica! We've been doing this for weeks!" He yells.

Duncan fights the urge to hit you and instead hits the wall, making a dent in the plaster.

"Logan I want you out by tomorrow and Veronica consider us over"

"Duncan please, Logan means nothing"

"What? I just confessed I like you and you go and profess your love for the guy you've been cheating on?"

Duncan leaves and you spin around sharply to meet Logan's eyes.

"Shut up" Slap. "I hate you. Look what you've done" You start to cry. "I hate you Logan Echolls. I hate you. I fucking hate you"

You leave his house, your clothes are gathered in your hands and you're sobbing. Logan's t-shirt is still on you and once you get in the elevator you furiously whip his t-shirt off and quickly put on your jeans and shirt before you get to the ground floor.

When you get home your dad has moved to his bedroom, he mustn't have noticed you were gone because he didn't leave a note or bother calling you. You quietly creep back into bed, wiping your eyes from the hot tears that scold your face.

If only you hadn't have hooked up with Logan in the first place.

If only you hadn't cheated on Duncan.

If only you hadn't have gone over there.

If only you hadn't have told the truth.

Sometimes, the truth is overrated and in your case it is…in your case the truth got you in trouble.

Next time you will think twice before telling the hurtful truth.

Veronica Mars, what have you done?

* * *

Sequel to _Lying To Yourself, _a lot of people reviewed that story and told me to write a sequel. It took me four days to write this, I changed the story several times, deleting the whole thing twice before I actually got the write story line. Anyway I don't think it's as good as the first but review anyway. 


	3. Learning How To Love

You arrive at school a week later. You've skipped school the past week, hoping this situation would blow over.

The hallways are full of gossiping girls and egotistic guys, you can see them all look to you and snicker behind your back. You keep your head low and walk as fast as possible to get out of the penetrating eyes of your peers.

When you get to your locker you see Duncan and Dick talking a few lockers down. At first neither sees you and they keep talking, when your locker makes a loud squeak sound as you open it both their gazes are averted to you and you can feel the hate radiating from Duncan's eyes.

"Slut" You hear him say.

Dick laughs along with Duncan, your eyes feel like a dam is about to burst. You must not cry here, not in front of everyone.

As soon as the bell rings you grab your bag and briskly walk to the girls' bathroom, locking the door behind you. You check the stalls, no one is in them.

You try to act bravely and forget what Duncan called you, forget the rumours and the hurtful truth but it's easier said then done. All you can think about is the names Duncan's probably called you over the past week and how everyone probably hates you. Soon tears are streaming down your face, leaving black streaks down your porcelain cheeks.

Finally you stop crying and wipe what minimal make-up you had on, from your face, replacing it with new make-up. You check yourself in the large mirrors before unlocking the bathroom door and leaving the girls' bathroom for your English class. You arrive late obviously, all eyes are on you.

"Veronica Mars, you've had a whole week off and you can't manage to arrive to class on time?" Your teacher scorns you.

"Sorry sir"

"Take a seat Miss Mars" He sighs, returning to the board to write more grammar.

Someone taps you on the shoulder, you look to your left , expecting someone to laugh in your face. Instead you're met with Meg. She looks at you with such sorrow and sympathy that all your problems seem to float away. She's your friend, she'd never hate you even if you did cheat on Duncan.

She passes you a folded piece of paper. You wait until your teacher has turned around before you open it.

'_Slut. How could you cheat on Duncan? He loved you so much, Veronica. You're such a bitch, you cheated on him with his best friend! That's both stupid and skanky of you. I think everyone would appreciate it if you'd just disappear off the face of the Earth, or die. Fucking whore.'_

You turn back to her, she gives you a malicious smile and turns her eyes to the front of the room. You don't know what to think or what to say – or even if you should write back or not. You hate girl drama, ever since Lilly died you couldn't stand the bitchiness of girls and kept very few girls close to you.

The bell rings for class to be over and second period to begin, you have a free period.

As everyone heads into various class rooms you wander outside to the lunch tables where you decide you'll study to keep your mind off things. You pull out a text book and an exercise book to put notes in. It keeps you occupied for 3 minutes. Then your mind wanders to Logan.

This is all Logan's fault. If he hadn't have gone to your house all those weeks ago you would never have slept with him, or thought about him like you had and you would still be with Duncan and everyone wouldn't hate you. Logan is to blame for this.

Although, it was nice being with Logan, he treated you like no one else had. At times, Logan could be the sweetest person you knew, treating you with candy and flowers, other times he'd treat you as his personal slave and have you over when it suited him not when you wanted to be with someone.

He'd tried calling you on many occasions throughout the past week, leaving voicemail after voicemail apologizing to you for everything that happened. He'd even sent you lengthy emails writing down numerous ways to say he was sorry, none of it meant anything to you.

As if on cue your phone starts to vibrate on the table. It buzzes and you look to the screen. Logan's name appears, you're not tempted to pick it up, Logan is dead to you. He means nothing to you anymore, it was a mistake to think he ever could.

"Logan?" Mac appears beside you.

"Yeah" You reply, not bothering to look up at Mac.

Mac is different to any other girlfriend you have but she has morals and cheating on a boyfriend is a big no, no in her books and you crossed that one, in fact you completely shattered that rule to pieces.

"You don't have to sit here with me, I'm quite capable of insulting myself without your help"

"Who said I was going to insult you, Veronica?"

You look up, suddenly angry for no reason. "Because I'm a slut? Because I cheated on Duncan with his best friend, not once, not twice, hell I don't even know how many times anymore. I stopped counting after the 10th time. So I'm sorry if my first assumption of you being here is to insult me. Now please leave me the fuck alone, I have things to do"

She looks at you confused, you've never seen her like that. Her hair flows in the wind lightly, you can tell she's disappointed in you.

"Veronica, I don't understand why you did it. I don't know why you'd want to or even why Logan? But I do know you and I know right now you're in need of a friend because you probably feel enough like shit without everyone picking on you. I'm not here to call you the names you already think you are, I'm here to listen to you"

"Please Mac, I just feel like being alone"

You bury your head in the text book before she has a chance to notice the quiet tears falling down your cheeks. As soon as she leaves you cry out loudly, you want to scream and run for miles to release all this anger you have inside. Everything around you is falling apart. Next thing you know your dad will be gone.

---

Finally you're home, by now your dad has got wind of what you've done. He doesn't even look at you when you walk in the door after school. He sighs and goes to say something but stops.

"Just don't okay? I've had enough" You tell him, dropping your keys on the bench and going to your room.

You throw your bag to the corner of your room and turn on your computer. You probably have 100 emails telling you how much of a slut you are.

You're not completely wrong.

Just as you suspected, you have hate mail. Three emails, one from Meg, one from Duncan and one from Dick. You read the first one and scan the other two. After reading the first, there's no real point in reading the other two because they say almost exactly what the first did. Once you read them, you scroll down and see an email from Logan, you click it and open it.

_Where have you been the past week? I skipped school today and went to your house, you weren't there. Where are you? You won't answer my calls anymore. I'm sorry. For everything you know? I've written to you in emails several times, apologizing every way I know how to and all I get back is 'Fuck off' is that all I deserve?_

_Look Veronica, I know what we did meant nothing to you, but it meant something to me and I can't just go by life knowing that you never knew how much. So as bad as I am at all this sentimental shit here it is;_

_I like you. I like the bitch inside you, I like the way sweat beads form on your face when I'm buried inside you, I like the way your hips sway when you walk and I like how happy you make me. I like what we had, I like how much time we had together and I like who you turned me into. The only reason I was such an asshole to you is because I don't know how to express myself, I've been let down a lot in my life and all I know is pain and anger. I'm asking you if you'd help me to know love, Veronica Mars. Help me please._

_Logan._

You close the email and sigh, why did he make it so hard to hate him? You always tell yourself to stop lying to yourself about Logan. You like him, you have for awhile and you don't know why.

As your eyes start to close and you drift into a state of unconsciousness your phone buzzes beside you. You look to the screen, again Logan's name is printed across the wide screen. Your hand moves to pick it up, but you stop and take a deep breath before answering.

"Hi"

"Veronica! Finally you answered your phone"

You don't say anything, you don't know what to say.

"So I've missed you at school the past week, where have you been?"

"Sick"

"Oh, I hope you're better"

"Yeah"

His breath is sharp and almost ragged as if he was nervous about something.

"Were you at school today?"

"Yeah"

"Fuck. I should have been there. Dick said he was going to make your life hell for fucking me"

"Oh, well he didn't"

"Did you see Duncan?"

"Yeah, he called me a slut"

In your mind you can picture Logan's fist balling up ready to punch Duncan's face in. He shouldn't bother, the term slut rather suits you really.

"Did you get my email?"

"Yeah"

"I meant every word of it Veronica, I really am sorry for fucking things up between you and Duncan. I wish I could take it all back for you if only to see you happy"

"Yeah"

"Could you stop saying yeah!?" He yells at you.

You cringe under his deep voice.

"Sorry" He mumbles afterwards. "It's just…I really don't know what to say…I guess I'm nervous. Ha" He laughs. "Veronica, you make me nervous"

"Can we meet up, Logan? I really just need to get out of here"

"Why?"

"My dad found out and well I just need to leave for awhile"

"Yeah, sure. I'll pick you up in 15 okay?"

"Yeah okay"

He hangs up and you silently wish he'd stayed on the line. As much as you hate to admit it, Logan Echolls comforts you somewhat, he makes you feel as though everything is okay, even when you both know that it is most certainly not.

You chuck on a black jacket over your clothes and place a few things in your bag before heading out to the lounge. Your dad is seated on the sofa talking on the phone, you hope he won't notice, but as usual, nothing goes past him.

"Hold on a sec" He pauses and places his hand over the speaker. "Where do you think you're going? You're grounded Veronica. I'm extremely disappointed in you"

"Logan and I are meeting up"

"Veronica, you are certainly not going to see Logan Echolls, god he is the cause of this whole mess. If it wasn't for him Neptune wouldn't be calling you a slut and you would be asleep right now. Get to your room"

His hand uncovers the speaker and he stands to move to his bedroom for privacy. You don't care if the person on the other end is important, if it's the president or even the fucking queen. You just want to yell and scream, even if it's at your dad. The man who raised you.

"You know what dad, I am going out. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to meet up with Logan, rent a hotel room for the night and have him screw me so hard that I'll forget this whole fucking mess"

You run out the door, slamming it behind you. Your dad follows you out but stands in the doorway as you run towards the street. You stop at the pathway and look at your dad, he turns and goes back inside whilst you wait in the cold night air for Logan to pick you up.

Minutes pass and you see Logan's car pull up to the curb, you quickly get in, swiping at your eyes furiously.

"Veronica…"

"Shut up and drive. Take me to a hotel, I want to fuck"

"We can always go back to Dick's…that's where I'm staying"

"Go back to Dick's so he can watch us screw? Fuck Logan, just fucking drive"

His eyes avert from you, your intense stare makes him nervous. He keeps his eyes trained on the road whilst yours are transfixed on your hands that are playing with your bag. It's keeping your mind preoccupied for now.

He pulls up at some fancy hotel out of town by a few miles. He carefully gets out, you wait a few seconds before you follow. He passes his keys to the valet as he walks inside the double doors, you follow directly behind him. He stops at the counter and checks you both into a hotel room, an expensive one at that.

You get into the elevator with him, you're all alone and as if your life was a cliché you push him against the wall and start furiously making out with him. He gropes your ass mindlessly as your hands grasp the back of his neck in eagerness.

"Veronica…wait…we're in an…elevator" He manages between you trying to ravish his delectable mouth.

"I don't care" You tell him, unbuttoning his shirt quickly.

The doors for the elevator open and you're suddenly staring at two people from Neptune high. The girl giggles and whispers to the boy.

"Are you Veronica Mars?" The girls asks, clutching to her boyfriend.

"Yes"

"You cheated on Duncan Kane right?"

"Yeah"

"Slut" She snickers, getting into the elevator. Her male friend stops.

"Dirty whore" He snarks, you can't hide the emotional pain, Logan notices.

Logan grabs the guy by his shirt and pushes him against the wall. "Talk to her like that again and I'll fuck you up so bad, no plastic surgeon will be able to fix you. And you" He points to the girl. "Respect her or I'll have you ruined"

He drops the guy, he stumbles to get in the elevator. Logan doesn't look at you when you start to move again, he just pulls you to the room and unlocks it with his key card.

As soon as you're inside the room you grab Logan's waist and start undoing his pants, occasionally rubbing his growing penis through the material, you manage to get his jeans off quick enough. Then it's his turn and he's unzipping your jacket and lifting your top over your head.

"Thanks" You thank him for the scene before.

He doesn't answer. He doesn't need to.

All your clothes soon become discarded, along with Logan's and before long he's managed to have your legs wrapped around his waist and him ravishing your neck all at the same time.

He buries his cock into your tightness quickly, thrusting into you harder then he ever has, it hurts you but you don't let him know that. This is what you want, meaningless, emotionless, sex. Sex that has no meaning or no emotion directly attached to it. That is sex with Logan.

"Harder" You order him, grasping the skin on his back.

You didn't think he could go harder but he could and this time it really hurts and you let out a pained groan as well as further digging your nails into his back. He doesn't stop like he usually would, if anything he goes deeper and faster, the pain grows.

"Logan" You cry out. "Fuck…stop" You tell him. He doesn't.

Your heels dig into him as the pain intensifies more, you can only let out pained groans. Eventually you start to sob quietly as he pushes in and out of you quickly.

"Logan, please stop" You cry.

He finally speaks, biting your neck, drawing bits of blood.

"This is what you wanted isn't it? Sex that has no meaning? A mindless fuck to forget everything" He pushes harder.

"Stop" You cry, almost defeated.

"You just want to cum and then sleep the rest of the night, to fuck the pain away Veronica" He bites your lip.

More blood.

"Logan" You cry.

He drops you and moves away, putting his hands to his head and brushing his hands through his hair. His erection is still fully noticeable and you can not help but stare.

"Fuck Veronica! Why do you have to be so complicated?"

You don't say anything, you're afraid of what Logan might do.

"Answer me? I called you and you answered, I took that as a sign you wanted to be friends again or at least talk, not use me for sex! I fucking love you okay? You're the first girl I ever used that word on, not even Lilly got that far and you're fucking me over!"

"I told you to stop" You sniffle. "You didn't"

Your top slides on easily as does your pants and jacket.

"That's what you wanted. A rough fuck so you can forget that you cheated on the beloved Duncan right?"

"Logan…"

"What? Logan I'm sorry? Logan I didn't mean to? Logan fuck me? Logan I hate you? What Veronica!?"

"Logan I'm sorry. Logan I didn't mean to say those things to Duncan. Logan I want you to fuck me. Logan I don't hate you"

You step towards him and place one of your small hands on his broad shoulder. He looks to it as if you're going to try something and he'll suddenly die.

"What?"

"I don't know. I don't know who you are to me? I mean, you're someone I can tell anything to and truthfully, you are the first person I think of calling when I need to talk or when I'm in trouble Logan"

"I love you, Veronica. I don't even know fucking why?"

He pulls you in and kisses you with such passion that you think he could make you burst with delight any moment now. He pulls you close and then picks you up, carrying you to the bed in the next room. He places you down on the bed and carefully, peals off your clothing that you decided to put back on.

"I'm sorry" He kisses your chest.

"I'm sorry" He kisses your stomach.

"I'm sorry" He kisses your thigh.

"I'm sorry for messing things up" He moves back up to kiss you.

"You didn't. I did"

"How?" His mouth moves to taste your neck.

"I should have broken up with Duncan the first night we were together Logan. I should have never have cheated on him in the first place"

He silences you with a kiss that could rival his last, you battle his tongue with your own, grabbing his shoulders and pulling his naked body on top of yours. It's a rather nice feeling, the feeling of Logan's muscular, naked body on top of your petite, one.

You grasp his neck as he pushes inside of you once more. This time there is no pain, no roughness. His moves are slow and gentle, he takes care of you, going no further than he had with the last stroke. This time you are fucking the sensitive Logan, the Logan you thought you hated. This Logan whispers sweet words in your ear as you fall asleep and tells you how beautiful you are when you've finished fucking. You like this Logan.

"Logan" You moan as his mouth latches onto your neck.

Logan's hands move to your neglected breasts, he pinches your nipples in his fingers, rubbing them. His takes them into his hand, one in each, his hands cover them completely.

You hear him grunt, it's a low deep grunt that makes your body tingle with delight. Your hands run across his back, feeling every inch of his skin; every scar you've left on him. His head is buried in your hair as he pushes in and out of your body slowly, you can hear him breathe.

"I love you, Veronica Mars" He tells you as he places one of those sweet kisses on your cheek.

His words replay in your head, you know he's waiting for a response, something along the lines of 'I love you too, Logan Echolls', only you can't say that, the words won't form in your mouth. How is it so easy for him to tell you that? You can't. You had trouble telling Duncan you loved him, let alone trying to say it to the man who caused your world of problems.

"Veronica?" He questions, as if you had fallen asleep.

How could you fall asleep with this man making sweet sounds in your ear?

"Mmm?" You manage.

"I thought you'd fallen asleep"

That smile; that delectable, sweet smile that passes over his delicious tasting lips presents itself to you, you smile in return. He catches your lips before you have the chance to say something to him, his tongue slides inside your mouth, tasting every inch of your mouth he can.

His once, small and soft strokes become a bit faster and a bit harder as you both come close to climax. You are moaning, only the sounds never get heard, they're lost in Logan's mouth before they reach the air.

You both stop kissing and he pulls away to admire your face. You pant as soon as he leaves your mouth, this feeling is getting unbearable, you can feel your orgasm approaching. Logan bites his lip, you can see he is ready to cum, but he wants you to first. So you move your hand down to your clit and start rubbing it to hurry up your orgasm.

As soon as your fingers touch you, you feel your walls crash around Logan and that intense feeling you always get when having sex with Logan. You grip Logan's back, rolling your head back and almost screaming out in pleasure. In your mind you are screaming Logan's name, but you can only form moans in real life.

Logan's eyes are trained on your own as he pushes inside you harder, he growls in response as his climax reaches him and he fills you with that liquid you've become so accustomed to over the past few weeks. His back becomes tense on your fingers as his release is ending, his breath is ragged and sharp, eventually he collapses on top of you, you don't even feel his weight, you are too happy with basking in the afterglow of your orgasm.

For minutes all you and Logan can do is catch your breath, no words are said. Then after a few minutes Logan rolls off you and lies beside you, taking your hand in his and kissing your palm as if it was precious treasure. You smile, you want to tell him all the things you feel right now, but words seem incapable of expressing all your emotions.

"I'm sorry for everything" He tells you.

"Me too. It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry for yelling at you"

Silence hits you both for several minutes, it's not awkward silence or that after sex silence that sometimes happens, no, it's blissful silence, all you want to do is lie here with Logan.

"Veronica, do you think things would be different if Lilly was alive?" He asks you suddenly.

You've never really had conversations with Logan about Lilly, mostly because you found to much pain behind your best friend's death and because Logan was miserable after Lilly died and you'd rather not bring up the subject.

"Yeah"

"How so?"

You prop yourself on your elbow and face Logan.

"I wouldn't be here right now"

"I loved Lilly a lot, but right now I'm glad she's gone"

You are too.

He gets up and puts on his clothes, you follow in his footsteps, following him into the kitchen of your suite. There's nothing much in the kitchen, but the mini bar is full of alcohol which Logan is immediately attracted to once he finds it.

You sit on the couch in front of the wide screen TV. Logan brings you over a beer and sits beside you. In ways you can't explain what this is? You don't even know yourself. You find comfort in Logan, you find him safe but you also know he is more than someone who comforts you and keeps you safe. You wonder what he is to you.

"What are we now Logan?" You ask suddenly.

"I think you're my bitch" He smirks playfully.

"Logan!"

"Sorry. No, I think this makes you my girlfriend now"

"How do you come to that conclusion?"

Your face lightens up as you cuddle closer to Logan, you're not one for cuddling but this is different.

"Well, I pretty much bared my soul to you before and then we ended up having sex, which wasn't rough or passionless. Plus I know you like me"

"I do not" You laugh.

"You so do"

"I do not!"

"Veronica likes me, Veronica likes me" He chants over and over again.

"Fine I do"

Logan doesn't say anything, he kisses your forehead and turns his face towards the TV. You look up at him and admire him. He's all yours now, you don't have to worry about lying to Duncan or hiding him from anyone.

Logan told you he needed to learn how to love, all he knew was pain and anger. You bring him happiness and love. But you know he's not the only on learning how to love; you are too.


	4. Dealing With Duncan Pt 1

Your phone rings, it awakes you from your peaceful sleep with Logan. In fear of waking up your sleeping boyfriend you scurry to silence it. You pick it up from your bag and look to the caller ID, clearly displayed is your dad's name. Hesitantly you answer it in the kitchen and keep your voice low.

"Hi" Your voice is emotionless.

"Sweetie, where are you? You didn't come home last night"

"I'm with Logan"

As you've said before, you do love your dad but sometimes he annoys you. Like now. You know your dad doesn't like Logan and he certainly doesn't approve of you sleeping with Logan, but you love Logan and your dad is not going to get in the way of that, no matter what.

"Oh. Will you come home please? We need to have a talk Veronica"

"I'm busy dad. Can't you say whatever it is you have to say to me over the phone?"

"I'd rather say it in person, Veronica"

"Well maybe I don't want to see you right now"

There's a long awkward pause.

"Why'd you do it?" He questions.

Because you don't love Duncan? Because you were bored? You don't have an explanation, it's just Logan. There's always been this unspoken passion between you both and you never acted on it because of Lilly, then she died and you stayed away from both Duncan and Logan. Then when you started seeing Duncan again and you spent more time with him and Logan you felt that passion stir inside you again.

"I don't know"

You see Logan arise form the bedroom in just his boxers, you smile at him, your eyes lower to his boxers and you lick your lips tastefully. He asks who's on the phone quietly and you mouth your dad.

"Please just come home, Veronica. Maybe we can sort this mess out"

"Mess?" You ask, getting angry as Logan looks at the menu for breakfast.

"This Logan thing you've gotten yourself into. People are calling you a slut sweetie"

"Dad, this _Logan thing_ I've gotten myself into, happens to suit me okay? I like being with Logan"

"Veronica, I'm telling you to come home. I want you home in half an hour"

He hangs up. But you are not going home.

"What'd your dad want?" Logan asks, chewing on chocolate from the mini bar.

"He wants me to go home" You sit up on the bench.

"Really?" He smirks, standing in between your exposed thighs.

"Mhmm"

"Want some breakfast?" He kisses your lips. "It should be here any minute"

"I see something much more appealing" You tell him, slowly snaking your hand into his boxers.

"Veronica…" You think he meant to say that in a hardened tone, but it comes out as a moan.

"Fuck me Logan"

He growls and steps away. You pout mockingly towards him. His eyes soften when they reach your face and all he can do is apologise.

"Later maybe. We have to get to school. Your dad will kill me if you skip school with me"

"F.Y.I, Logan. My dad already hates you. He wants to kill you anyway. What does it matter?"

You watch him closely for a few seconds. He looks almost adorable when he thinks and you can't help but smile at your _boyfriend_.

"I'd love to stay here fucking you Veronica, but if we don't go to school people are just going to keep talking"

"So? Let them talk. I don't give a fuck anymore. I just want to stay here with you"

There's a knock on the door and it opens almost immediately. A bell boy with a trolley comes in. There's fresh fruit and two trays atop the trolley. Logan gives the bell boy a tip and wheels the cart towards the bench where you are still seated.

"Breakfast?"

He picks up a strawberry and bites it then puts it in your mouth. The strawberry is sweet and tasteful, much like Logan sometimes.

"We should start getting ready" He says in between bites of a freshly cooked pancake laced with maple syrup.

"After this" You say, taking the lid of the other tray and revealing a plate of bacon and eggs.

---

You see the 09ers at Duncan's locker as you arrive at school. They laugh as you walk past them. Logan soon follows behind you, but stops as soon as he hears your name amongst the boys.

Although Logan was the leader of the 09ers, Duncan was certainly the next in line for leader of the pack and the boys disagreed with Logan fucking his best mate's girlfriend. Therefore Logan became an outsider to them.

"Echolls man. Stopped fucking the slut yet?"

_Punch._ You spin around. Logan's hand retracts from Dick's face. You gasp at Dick's large black eye.

"That so called _slut _Casablancas, is my girlfriend"

Duncan's eyes widen and you can see the hurt behind his beautiful eyes. You never intended on dating Logan. You never intended on cheating on Duncan in the first place. This wasn't some sort of plan you constructed in your spare time. You just hope Duncan knows that.

Logan goes to pin Dick up against the locker. You stop him.

"Logan"

He turns to you immediately.

"Your bitch is calling" Dick spits.

Before Logan leaves he slams Dick against the lockers, you hear Dick give a loud grunt as his organs ache inside himself.

He catches up to you and slings an arm around your shoulders. You feel everyone's eyes on you and Logan. You are uncomfortable with having that many people stare at you. Logan notices and takes his arm from your shoulders, apologising and then kissing your head.

You come to your locker and open it. Logan waits patiently as you place your bag inside. There's a note inside, but you dare not open it in case it's hate mail and Logan goes to beat up the person who sent it.

"Logan, um I think I left one of my books in your car. Would you go get it for me?"

"Sure baby"

"I'll meet you in English"

You are hesitant to kiss him in front of people, but eventually give in and place a soft kiss on his lips. He tries to deepen it but realises you are uncomfortable with that. As he walks off you quickly open the white piece of paper.

_We need to talk. Meet you in the computer tech room first period._

Even though it's not signed you know it's from Duncan. The computer tech room was where you and Duncan once skipped class to make out.

---

Logan is sitting in the desk beside yours. He's busy scribbling useless drawings onto a note pad. You are trying to listen to the teacher but all you can think about is meeting Duncan. Should you go? If you do will Logan suspect something?

Before you have an answer for yourself you stick up your hand. The teacher sees it and asks you what you want.

"May I go to the toilet sir? I'm so busting"

He reluctantly agrees and you jet off out the door in a hurried attempt to meet Duncan.

You get to the computer tech room quickly. Your hand reaches for the door knob but something stops you. All of a sudden it opens and you are met with Duncan's sad face.

"I thought you weren't coming"

"I'm here"

He walks inside and you follow into the darkly lit room. He sits on a desk at the front, you keep your distance and sit on a chair at the back of the room. You don't have much time, you need him to talk and talk fast.

"What did you need to talk about?" You ask.

"Logan. Us. Everything I suppose"

"Duncan. I know what you're thinking. You probably think I cheated on you because I loved Logan. You're wrong. The first time was a stupid mistake and I should've told you and ended things with Logan, but I couldn't. Then we broke up and I felt all these feelings for Logan and all I wanted to do was forget everyone and everything and Logan –" He cuts you off with a kiss. You didn't even notice him getting closer to you.

His eyes close. Yours are open. This is different. Cheating on Duncan, you wanted to. You closed your eyes when you kissed and you willed him on. Cheating on Logan, you don't want to. Your eyes are open and his are closed. You're not willing him on. You want him to stop.

"Duncan" You gasp, pulling away.

"What? You can cheat on me but you won't cheat on Logan?"

"I…I just don't feel that way about you Duncan. I care about you, but not like that. I'm sorry Duncan"

He pulls you up and slams you against the wall. Your back makes a thud sound. His hands move to your breasts and his lips lock onto yours. This is making you ill.

"Duncan" You manage as he gropes you.

As if he only just realises what he's doing, he stops and steps away.

"Oh god. Veronica, I'm so sorry. I…I don't know what's gotten into me…I miss you so much and…fuck. I'm sorry"

"I'm sorry" You say. You almost choke on your own words. "For the Logan thing I mean. You deserve better than me Duncan"

He laughs. It's a cold, hurtful laugh. You've never seen a malicious side to Duncan, or not one like you're about to see. He backs away from you and spits on the ground.

"I bet Dick $50 I could have you on your knees sucking me off"

"But…How could you?"

"How the fuck could you Veronica?"

"I…"

"Logan!? Logan fucking Echolls? I fucking trusted you, you whore"

"Duncan please"

You've never seen Duncan so angry. You're scared. You want to run, all you can think of his running to Logan, into his strong arms and never leaving. Oh god, where is your Logan now?

"Slut" His words burn you.

"Shut up" You say, trying to fight back the tears.

His hand moves to your face and he grips you tightly. You can't scream or cry or say anything. Everything seems to fade from colour to black and white as you see an enraged Duncan handle you so carelessly, with such anger and hurt.

"Fuck you Veronica Mars"

He slams the door on his way out. You quickly retreat to class before the bell rings. Logan seems to be the only one who notices how long you were gone.

"Where were you?" He asks as you step out the door towards your next class.

"I had to deal with something"

"With what?"

"Nothing. I'm okay"

"You're okay? What happened?" His eyes turn dark. "Did Duncan hurt you? I'll fucking kill him if he did"

"No…we just talked"

"Don't lie to me Veronica. Fuck" His knuckles turn white.

"Logan please. Let me deal with this okay?" You kiss his cheek.

"I love you, you know?" He reassures you.

"I love you too"

He goes left and you go right.

---

The end of the day approaches you fast, you barely notice when the bell rings for the end of school. You quickly scramble your things together and hurry to your locker. Maybe you can get your things together before Logan gets there and talk to Duncan…or not.

"Hey baby. You ready to go?"

"Um yeah"

You gather your things. Logan grabs your hand and holds it in his as you two walk down the halls to the car park. You see Duncan and the rest of the 09ers on your way out. Duncan mouths 'fuck you' to you, the rest of the 09ers don't say anything. Logan can be a powerful man.

Logan and you make it to his car without any hassles. By the time you get in the passenger seat Duncan appears at Logan's door.

"Hey Logan, look about this whole thing between you and Veronica"

"Duncan" You warn him.

"No, I'm cool with it Veronica. I don't really care. If you guys want to get it on then cool"

"Really Duncan? Are you sure?" Logan questions.

"Yeah man, don't worry about it" Duncan pulls something out of his pocket. "I'm having a party on Saturday while my mum and dad are away. Here's your invite. Hope to see the both of you there"

He leaves just after he finishes his sentence. This doesn't make sense.

"That was nice of him" Logan studies the invite as he starts his car.

"I don't know. I think he's up to something"

"Veronica…"

"No Logan, listen. When I went to meet with Duncan during class we had a talk and he's not cool with this. He made a bet with Dick…that I would be on my knees sucking off Duncan as soon as I had the chance…I didn't but he's so not cool with us"

"Fuck. You really think so? I mean, maybe he's reconsidered?"

"I don't think so"

"I do. He's probably realised his actions and gotten over"

Before too long you arrive at your house with Logan. You need to get a few things before you return to the hotel with Logan…just a few clothes and some other stuff. When you open the door with your key, your dad is not home, lucky for you.

"I really don't want to go to Duncan's party. He's probably going to play some awful prank on us Logan"

"He won't"

Logan follows you to your bedroom where you throw a few bits and pieces into an overnight bag.

"He could and then we'll be the laughing stock of the whole fucking school"

"Baby, don't worry about it. He won't, trust me. I know Duncan, Duncan wouldn't do that to you, to me. He's forgiven us"

"You sure?"

Logan grabs you and pulls you close to his strong body. He kisses your forehead softly.

"I'm sure"

---

Friday night. You haven't stopped worrying about Duncan's party the whole week. Duncan has been acting nice all week, passing by you and waving. Even his 09er buddies had stopped harassing you and Logan. Still, you couldn't get the feeling that Duncan was planning something out of your head.

Currently, your head was lying on Logan's lap whilst you and him were watching TV at the hotel room you and he were still staying at.

"Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Do we have to go to Duncan's tomorrow?"

"Yeah we do"

"Why?"

"Because if I'm going to get back into the 09ers I have to go to this party, Veronica"

Your head pops up quickly and you sit up, staring at Logan angrily.

"So being back in the 09ers is more important than our relationship? Real smooth Logan"

You get up and throw a pillow at his gorgeous face. It misses but he still groans. You briskly walk to the bedroom and start furiously throwing off your clothes.

"Veronica…" He groans tiredly.

Ignoring him you walk into the bathroom and start the shower. You try to ignore the fact that he's still following you even though you've made it clear you don't want to talk to him right now. This is the first fight you've had with Logan all week.

"Veronica. C'mon baby, you know it's not like that"

The hot water soothes your aching body. Life with Logan has been stressful so far. Every day something irritates you about him and you try to ignore it. It's like walking on egg shells around him.

He enters the bathroom and takes off his shirt, his muscles flinch at the cold air. You like his body. He keeps his eyes trained on you and yours are trained on him. Carefully he bends over a little and un does his pants, slowly they become discarded on the cold floor. You stare at his crouch that has grown a little as he watches your naked body.

"I love you, you know that. If I thought Duncan was up to something I wouldn't want us to go. But baby, he's not"

He's naked now, he gets in the shower with you and pushes back your wet hair that clings to your face.

"He's up to something Logan, I just know it"

"Stop worrying" He smiles. You frown. "There's nothing to be worried about"

"There is. You just don't get it Logan"

"Don't get what? That everyone thinks you're a slut?"

Slap.

"Sorry" He says, rubbing his sore cheek.

"You can be such an ass Logan"

You go to get out of the shower but Logan stops you with his hand. He pulls you back and your back hits the cold shower wall. You flinch under his grip, but he doesn't let go.

"I'll never let him hurt you Veronica"

"Okay. Let me go"

He kisses you hard. You reciprocate the kiss, your hands trailing down his body to his now hard cock. His hands gently rake over the skin on your arms. You shiver under his touch. He kisses your neck softly in return.

Soon his fingers find themselves inside you as your moaning for release. Your hand finds its way to his erection; you pump it slowly, waiting for his release.

---

Late at night you get a phone call. It's around 2.00am. You are wrapped in Logan's arms with the blankets tangled around both of your bodies. Your hair is still damp from the shower you shared with Logan.

Quickly you scramble to your feet. In a lazy attempt to hurry to the kitchen you trip and stub your toe on the couch. A curse escapes your mouth as you pick up the phone.

"Hello?" You whisper, not bothering to see the caller ID.

"Hey Veronica"

"Duncan? What the hell are you doing calling me at…" You pause and look to the clock on the microwave. "2.00 in the fucking morning?"

"I wanted to talk"

"To me? Are you drunk? High?"

"I have an idea. I'm with Dick right now, we're horny as fuck baby. Why don't you come over and show us what you got?"

"Oh with Dick. So you've been drinking?"

"Just a little. C'mon Mars. You know you want to"

"Look Duncan. Why don't you just leave Logan and I alone okay? I get it. You hate me and you hate Logan"

"What?"

"Your party. I know you're planning on making us look like idiots in front of everyone"

"Ha ha. Baby, I wouldn't do that to you"

"You wouldn't?"

"No"

You hear footsteps coming from the lounge room. You turn around and see Logan running his hands through his messy hair.

"What are you doing up?" He asks you.

You put your phone on loudspeaker. Duncan speaks.

"Stop being bitter Mars. Dick and I just want to get off. We won't tell Logan" His voice is loud.

"Duncan" Logan speaks, you hear the anger in his voice.

"Echolls? Where's Mars?"

"I'm here" You speak up.

"Oh. Am I on loud speaker?"

"Yeah" Logan sighs.

"Sorry man. I was just joking. Dick and I have been drinking. Don't listen to us. So you guys coming to my party tomorrow night?"

"That would be tonight Duncan" You tell him.

"Yeah, whatever. Are you coming?"

"Yeah. We can't wait" Logan says, taking you in his arms. "See you tomorrow Duncan" He hangs up the phone before you can protest.

Logan places a kiss on your forehead and drags you to the bedroom. You will seriously kick Duncan's ass if he tries to do something tomorrow. You've had enough of everyone's shit right now.

* * *

**A/N: Had to break this into two parts. Sorry guys. It woulda been hella long otherwise. Promise to update soon. Reviews are appreciated.**


	5. Dealing With Duncan Pt 2

You arrived at Duncan's house an hour ago. So far nothing has happened, besides the occasional snigger from a cheerleader or a drunken classmate. Logan has disappeared on you, probably to get wasted with the rest of the 09ers, but he's left you all alone with no one to protect you or help if you if something goes wrong.

And it does.

"Hey Mars…looking fiiiiiiiiiine tonight" Dick tells you, circling you like pray.

"Hey Dick"

You move to get away from him, he corners you at a wall. Suddenly Duncan appears from your left. What've they done with Logan?

"Veronica. Dear sweet innocent Veronica"

"I told Logan this would happen. Just let me the fuck go so I can go home okay? I'm done playing games Duncan"

Duncan kisses your neck. You don't feel that passion you do when Logan kisses your neck. Duncan kissing your neck is like making love to garbage. Both disgusting and wrong.

"C'mon Mars we just want to have some fun" Dick says.

He grabs your wrists holding you tightly and most likely leaving bruises. He pulls you upstairs to the bedrooms with Duncan following close behind making sure no one is looking. They take you into a bedroom and throw you to the floor like you're dirt.

"Alright boys, you've had your fun, but I'm afraid I should be going. Logan's probably looking for me. This has been fun"

"I don't think so Veronica. Besides, Logan's passed out by the pool, he won't even know"

"Know what?"

"Know what we're about to do"

Fear passes through your small body. This is serious. You have two very angry 09ers here who would probably gag, rape and kill you if they were in the mood and besides Logan, no one knows you are here, you've made no contact with anyone at the party so you're pretty much screwed, plus you left your phone in Logan's car which was probably the stupidest thing you've done in a long time.

"So let me guess, the old gag and rape gig right?"

You prepare for the worse and use sarcasm to hide how afraid you are. You lie on the bed and place your hands above your head ready to be handcuffed to the bed and have a rag stuffed in your mouth. Much surprise to you they don't move to tie you up.

"We don't want to do this if your not willing Veronica" Dick says pouting a little.

"Oh well if that's the case I should get going"

You get up and make way to the door. They stop you before you exit.

"If you leave it makes this no fun" Duncan slurs.

"Too bad for you then"

All in one movement you are slammed against the door with Duncan's hands around your neck and Dick's arms holding you firmly against the door. Breathing is the thing you need to do most now, you can feel the air being sucked out of your lungs, but none is coming back in.

Duncan's grip loosens and he kisses you passionately. You reciprocate the kiss if only for you life. Dick keeps his grip tight. This is one time you wish you had your zapper here.

"Duncan, you reek of alcohol. Let me the fuck go"

"Not until I get to fuck you one last time baby"

His hands move up your dress, Dick's let go of you and he watches on. You slap Duncan hard, his head snaps left with a loud thwack.

"You fucking slut!" He yells, fist colliding with your petite face.

You crumble to the floor with one punch. Hand on your face for the bruise that's surely going to appear in a matter of minutes. He spits on you and kicks you from the door and leaves, Dick follows in his foot steps, only you see the sympathy in Dick's eyes. You never saw that in Duncan's eyes. Only hatred and anger.

Silently you cry to yourself, letting the warm tears soothe your aching face and your pride…or what you have left of it. Your head slumps against the wall. If you go out there people will notice, if you don't Logan will look for you.

Your eyes close as you try to reach a better place. Slumber takes your fragile tiny body.

---

"Veronica!? Hey have you seen Veronica?" Logan's voice echoes through the halls.

"In here" You say, moving from the door and making sure your back is to your boyfriend.

"Veronica?" He questions entering the room.

"Yeah. Sorry I fell asleep. Let's go home"

You walk quickly downstairs reaching the car before Logan can notice. As you get in your head turns towards him in a momentary lapse of concentration and he notices the large purple bruise below your eye and covering you left cheek bone.

"What the fuck happened?"

His hand reaches to touch the ugly mark Duncan left on you. You wince in pain, it hurts like hell but you try not to show it.

"Nothing. I fell and bumped my cheek. Can we go?"

"You didn't fall Veronica. Did you get in a fight?"

"No. Can we go please?"

He starts the car. Then shuts it off.

"I'll kill him" He says, taking his seat belt off.

"Who?" You act dumb. Maybe he'll change his mind.

"You know fucking who Veronica! Why didn't you come get me!? The fucker is dead"

Logan stalks out of his car and into the house. You follow after hoping to stop the fight before it starts. No such luck, Logan finds Duncan at the bar cleaning up. He turns him around and takes a swing getting him in the jaw. You hope it hurt.

"That's for Veronica" Another swing, this one hits his eye. "You don't fucking" And another. "Hit fucking" And yet another. "Girls. Especially Veronica"

Duncan has no time to retaliate. Logan's punches fly fast. Stomach, jaw, eye, stomach, eye, stomach, jaw, face. Duncan recoils to the floor, spitting up splatters of blood to the floor. His nose bleeds endlessly as Logan kicks him hard. You can imagine his ribs snapping as Logan's large feet dig into the sensitive skin of you ex boyfriend.

He kneels to the ground and looks at his contender in the eye. Both of Duncan's eyes are swollen, Logan stands strong without a hit or scratch on him.

"Fuck with her again Duncan and I'll not only kick the fucking shit through you, next time I'll fucking kill you"

As Logan stalks back to the door he grabs your arm and practically drags you to the car like a little kid. You are in fear of this Logan. Enraged and furious Logan. This Logan is un predictable, even he is capable of hurting women in this state. One wrong word and he'll punch you straight in the face you think.

Wordlessly he starts the car and drives off. You watch the road intently with nothing to say to him. His knuckles are red and raw all you want to do is kiss them better. His places a hand on his seat and breathes in and out deeply, you hear the shakiness of his voice through his breath.

"Logan? Are you alright?" You ask, not too sure what to expect.

"Fine. Fucking fantastic"

You grab his hand and bring it to your mouth, kissing every knuckle softly and cautiously hoping to heel a little of the pain. He gestures a smile your way, but you know it's not meaningful.

"I'm sorry for not telling you" You tell him, placing his hand on your lap, playing with his fingers.

"I just…its…I couldn't lose you Veronica. I don't know what I would have done if he'd done more damage…or killed you"

You laugh lightly even though you shouldn't have. "You probably would have gone out and found a hot girl to take to bed and forget all about me Logan"

"Would not"

"Would too"

"I'm sorry for not believing you about Duncan" He says, taking his eyes off the road for a second to look at you.

"It's okay. I understand. You and Duncan have been friends forever"

"I should have trusted you though. I'm sorry"

"Hey. Don't be. It's not your fault"

"I shouldn't have left you alone"

You shush him with a kiss on his cheek as he pulls into the hotel car parking. He opens his door and gets out, you follow after.

---

So maybe you thought when Duncan got his ass kicked by your boyfriend he'd stop harassing you forever…or at least for a few weeks. That isn't the case. Logan's been in the shower for 10 minutes and during those 10 minutes Duncan has tried calling you 7 times and he's left 3 voicemail messages on your phone. You bother checking them, what's the point really? He's just going to fake some apology.

Logan gets out of the shower, he has a towel wrapped around his waist his delicious body still dripping with water. He walks to you and gestures for your hand, you let him take it and lead you to the bathroom.

"Logan, I don't feel like fucking…"

"We're not" He says.

You walk into the bathroom and find the bathtub full. There's several scented candles lit around the bathtub and a few magazines for you to read.

"I just thought maybe you could use a little relaxation"

He kisses that soft spot on your neck, you go weak at his kiss and almost collapse. Gently he takes off you clothes, piece by piece, throwing each item to the ground carelessly. You're finally naked, only Logan doesn't grope or ogle you, he lets you be and tells you to enjoy your bath.

Once you're in all these thoughts come to your head. This was supposed to be relaxing hey? Well you find that this is not relaxing at all and only makes you more agitated and annoyed.

The incident between you and Duncan plays most in your head. You never though of Duncan the type to hit a woman, and maybe he wouldn't had he been sober. Or maybe he would have. Did you ever really know the real Duncan anyway? He was never loud or ambitious, he kept to himself a lot.

And Dick Casablancas? What the fuck seriously? He played his part, he helped Duncan corner you and bring you upstairs. He helped torture you and poke fun. Why did he have sympathy for you when you were on the ground in pain?

You close your eyes and rest your head back. Maybe your mind will stop working and let you have a minutes peace.

…Or not.

"Veronica, your dad" Logan says, interrupting your bath as he passes you're your cell phone.

"Dad?"

"Hey sweetie. Look before you hang up on me and go off hating me again I just want to say I understand okay?"

"Understand?"

"This thing with Logan. I get it. I'm not mad at you sweetheart and I hate that we're fighting"

"But you believed all the rumours. Why didn't you confront me?"

"I was scared that they were true. I mean I know they are true now, but baby you could never be a slut. So you cheated on Duncan? You made a mistake…a relatively bad mistake but it was yours to make and you can't take it back"

"And Logan? What about Logan dad? I love him"

"Well if you…love Logan then I suppose I can't stop you from seeing him. Just come home sweetie. I miss you and so does Backup"

"Alright dad. Let me just finish up here and Logan will drop me off soon"

"Veronica?"

"Yeah dad?"

"I love you kid"

"I love you too dad"

You hang up and place your cell phone on the ledge of the sink. How are you supposed to tell Logan you're going home? Of course he had to expect it right? It's not like you two planned to stay here forever. Truthfully you had expected Logan to be off with some slut right now and not here with you being sweet.

The bath empties as you step out and wrap a towel around you. You make your way from the bathroom to lounge room where you find Logan, legs spread, arms slung across the back of the couch watching cartoons in his boxers like the little kid he is.

"Logan baby?" You pout. "Is it possible for me to go home sometime tonight?"

His attention immediately directs to you and you only.

"You want to go home?"

"It's not that I don't like it here Logan, trust me if I ever run away this is where I'd be going. It's just I miss my dad and my bed and my dog. I can't stay here forever right?"

"I suppose not"

"Are you angry?"

"No of course not"

"That's good"

"Before you go though" A mischievous smirk dances across his lips. You can tell that he's undressing you with his eyes. He really should just ask. "I think I want to ravish you one more time"

"Really? Would this help?" The towel that previously adorned your tiny figures drops to the floor. He openly eyes every part of you.

"Come here"

"Catch me if you can" You giggle running to the bedroom.

Stupid choice really. You're pretty much cornered. You could run to the bathroom but again you'd be corner with no point of exit….plus when he does catch you and starts ravishing you the bath or shower is the only way you two can do it in there.

As he runs to catch you he strips, his boxers becoming a piece of garbage on the floor. His arms go around your tiny bare waist when he finally reaches you and he pulls you onto the bed roughly, you squeal and giggle.

"Veronica Mars are you giggling?"

"No"

"What about now?" His fingers graze your stomach.

"Nope"

"Now?" They trail to the insides of your thigh.

"No"

"And now?"

Logan fingers are lost inside you. Pumping evenly, like the steady beat of a heart or the steady beat of drums in a song.

"N…oh…No"

"Are you sure Veronica? I could swear you're enjoying this as much as I am"

"Fuck…oh yes"

His fingers are swiftly replaced with his erection in a matter of seconds, the feeling is intense and wonderful. You wonder how you ever got by with being satisfied with sex with Duncan, it was no where near as great as fucking Logan…not even close.

---

He drives you to your house. You sit in the car staring at your apartment from the car. You want to go in but can you face your dad? Can you face the hours of questions from him and all the disappointed looks you are assured to get once you tell him the truth?

The answer is no. You can't face it…at least no alone.

"Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Do me a favour and come inside"

"What? Why?"

"My dad would love to see you"

"And then shoot me. No thanks babe"

"Please? I don't think I can face him alone. If you come in he's not going to grill me with thousands of questions tonight. Please? I'll make it up to you"

"And how do you suppose you're going to make it up to me, Miss Mars?" Logan's eyes glint.

You lean in and kiss that spot under his ear he likes. He giggles and pulls you in for a deep long kiss. You are positive your dad is watching.

"I'll let you fuck me anywhere, any position you want"

"Okay. I'm in"

Both you and he get out of the car and make the short walk to your apartment which seems to take hours instead of minutes. He stops at your dad, for a second or two you question whether he's afraid of coming in or not. You answer comes shortly after when he opens the door for you and smiles. Your knight in shining armour.

"Dad? I'm home"

Nothing.

"Dad?"

"Hey sweetie…Logan?" He greets you and Logan as he walks from the bathroom.

"Hey dad. Um, I thought maybe Logan could come over for awhile"

"Mr. Mars" Logan's voice changes when he speaks to your dad. He uses all that crap he was taught when he was little.

"Logan Echolls"

Silence hits you all. You and Logan are standing by the door barely touching, yet you can still feel Logan's heart race as your dad stares you both down. This silence is killing you all, the awkwardness of it rings through the whole house.

"I better go. It's late, we have school tomorrow. I'll pick you up yeah?"

"Okay"

"It was…nice seeing you again Mr. Mars"

"Goodnight Logan"

As Logan turns to leave you pull him back and give him a passion intensified kiss, just to stick it to your dad that this is how you want to live. You don't care if he doesn't approve of Logan. After all isn't that what teenage girls were supposed to do? Rebel against their parents?

"I love you" You say as he steps outside.

At first you thought Logan would just smile and leave, too afraid to say the 'L' word in front of your dad and for a second you think that's what he was going to do. His mind changes and he grabs your hand and looks into your eyes.

"I love you too. Sweet dreams Veronica Mars"

Your cheeks blush as he leaves for his car. You stand at the door watching his car drive away. You must look like an idiot to your dad who's mindlessly staring at you staring at Logan.

Finally you close the door and return to reality.

"I might go to bed" You say, hoping your dad won't notice the light coloured bruise that's adorning your face.

"Veronica did you get into a fight?"

You touch the bruise.

"No. I fell and hit my head. It's nothing, Logan attended to it dad"

You can only imagine what is running through your dad's head right now. _I'm sure he did, I'm sure he took care of you. Having un protected sex and reducing you to the ways he lives. He's no good for you Veronica, you deserve better then Logan Echolls._

"Goodnight dad"

"Tomorrow Veronica, we will talk. You're to come straight home from school so we can have a long father-daughter talk okay?"

"Sure dad. I love you"

You pass by, kissing his cheek. "I love you too sweetie"

So as your mind wanders over your very long and god awful weekend, maybe dealing with Duncan yourself wasn't such a good idea, or dealing with him at all. Logan should have believed you, or maybe you should have stayed by your boyfriend's side instead of letting him get wasted.

Dealing with Duncan was a disaster, but maybe things will get better from now on. They have to right? You've moved back with your dad, you have an amazing boyfriend and soon Logan will be accepted back into the 09ers.

* * *

**So I've recently discovered much to my dismay that as much as Logan and Veronica are epic there is only so many story lines you can flaunt before their relationship becomes shredded into so many pieces that they can't be fixed. So this fic won't be as long as I originally planned but I will try my best to not only make great chapters but to make as many as I can.**

**  
People who review make my day. [**


	6. Trusting Logan

Your eyes dart across the room, you're afraid, they can see it in your eyes. Don't let them see your fear Veronica Mars, show them how brave you can be put some of your karate training into use and kick their asses. You have to do something, if you don't things could get a lot worse.

Or you could just sit there and tremble in silent fear. Your lips quiver and your heart races to the full extent, it's hard to take in air when you cannot think, when you're shaking in fear. Your lungs feel like they're about to collapse and your body feels numb to whatever pain will come next.

As you cower into the corner naked, bloody and bruised a hand grabs your hair and pulls you to your feet. The face is a blur as tears block your view but you can clearly make out the hate deep within his soul. Please, have mercy I am only human, I make mistakes.

Your back meets the wall with a thud and suddenly you feel like every bone in your body is broken. Fight back Veronica; don't let them do this to you. Your face meets an angry fist, once, twice and three times. Yes, your nose does bleed, it flows down your face staining your skin and dripping to the carpet under your feet.

Hands go around your neck as you fight to breath, to live, to survive. You splatter and suck in any air you can but it's almost impossible for the grip around your neck is so tight.

Have mercy. Everybody makes mistakes.

---

Your eyes shoot open, mouth dry and forehead painted in sweat. Your baggy t-shirt that you wear to bed sticks to your clammy body as you sit up in your bed. Breathe in, breathe out.

Was it all a dream?

You examine your neck and face in the mirror by your bed. No hand prints around your neck and no bruises other than Duncan's mark are on your face. What an awful dream.

Slowly you get up and move to the kitchen for a much needed glass of water and a large bowl of cereal. Your dad's in the kitchen reading the morning news paper, he looks at you with a questioning gaze but you don't say anything.

"Good morning" He says, taking his eyes from a news article to meet your own.

Do they portray the fear you had in your wicked dream?

"Morning"

You proceed to pour yourself a glass of water and a bowl of cereal. Slowly you make your way through each part of your breakfast, finishing eventually.

"I'm going to have a shower" You tell your dad.

So if you had of been living with Logan still you know what you would have been doing right now? You would have been in the shower with Logan having his way with you which is a lot more appealing than showering alone.

The water cascades down your back, the heat of the water making your skin a slight red colour. The previous fears of your dream wash away with the water as you're lost in thought about Logan and his incredibly well built body.

Stop Veronica. You cannot touch yourself in the shower over Logan Echolls.

---

You wait patiently for Logan to pick you up. Your dad stands by trying to make it look as if he wasn't waiting with you but you know he is. He glances from the TV to you and then back to the TV and then back to you. What is he so worried about now?

Finally your hear footsteps nearing your door. They are Logan's. Don't ask how you can tell, you just can. As soon as his fist hits the door you swing the door open and wrap your arms around his neck, he seems surprised but hugs you back and kisses your cheek.

All of a sudden the mood changes when your dad approaches you both. You know your dad has something serious to say when he does that. Why can't you and Logan just go off to school without the burden that is your dad?

"Good morning Logan"

"Morning Mr. Mars"

You can anticipate what will come next. So you interrupt before your dad has a chance to embarrass you.

"Dad, we should really get going. We're going to be late otherwise"

"Okay honey. I'll see you after school. Come straight home remember"

"Sure dad"

You hurry out the door with Logan, rushing him to the car so you can devour his lips. Oh how you'd missed his touch, his whispers last night. You'd missed his arms wrapped around you at night right before you sleep and that cute thing he does when he's kissing you in bed.

As soon as you're both in the car and a safe distance from your apartment you pull Logan's face to you and kiss him so passionately that it even surprises you. He pulls away quickly though and laughs.

"Veronica, I'm trying to concentrate, stop distracting me"

"Sorry I'd just been dying to do that all morning. I missed you"

"I missed you too Mars"

---

The halls of Neptune high fill with gossiping teenagers going about their daily routines. The bell for class hasn't rung yet but you wish it would. Logan stands by your side at your locker watching you placing everything in the metal locker.

The bruise Duncan marked you with has fainted a little but still visible even under all the make-up you put on to cover the ugly mark on your skin. People walk by and gossip about what happened, you know the truth, Logan knows the truth and Duncan and Dick know the truth.

Just as you turn around Duncan Kane walks passed with Dick. Logan sees the look on your face. Duncan stops in front of you, he towers over you by far. His hands on your body, killing you inside.

"Go Kane before I kick your ass again" Logan warns.

Your eyes are on the cuts and bruises Duncan possesses. You may dislike Duncan right now but you cannot help but feel pain when you look at him. You should have stopped Logan, you shouldn't have let him kick the shit out of your ex boyfriend; his ex best friend.

Wallace soon approaches you.

"Whoa. Veronica what happened?"

You haven't seen Wallace in awhile. Between the nights with Logan and fights with your dad your life has just been way too hectic for time with your best friend, your only confidante.

"Hey Wallace"

"Did you get into a fight?"

"Um. Yeah kind of. Hey can we talk about this later?" You ask, noticing the people starting to stare.

"Sure. I'll see you later" With that he's gone.

"Hey, are you okay?" Logan asks, placing his hand on your shoulder.

"I'm just not used to having all these people stare at me you know? I'll be fine" You kiss his cheek and wave goodbye, you're going to go study in the library before class.

---

The library isn't a place you see many students in, no matter what time of day, it just really wasn't a popular place with most of the kids and Neptune high and for that you are thankful. At least there's one place in the school you can sit and be alone without having 100 people stare at you constantly.

You start to read a text book on Einstein, you don't have any classes that you need to study Einstein for but you'd rather be here reading about Einstein then out there in the eyes of the public. Really, you shouldn't let it bother you, why should it?

You don't get far in before a male hand places itself on your shoulder, by the touch of it, it feels much like Logan's hand. You turn around with a great smile on your face only to wipe it off as quickly as it came and replace it with both confusion and horror.

"Dick?"

"Hey."

Dick Casablancas.

"If you've come here to rag on me don't bother okay? I get it."

His eyes dart everywhere as if he's nervous. Could it be? Could Dick be nervous around the girl he almost bashed and raped?

"Actually Veronica I wanted to apologize…you know for the other night. I went too far."

Wait. Rewind. Did Dick just apologize? Even if he did hold you against your will and touch you with his hands, Dick _never _apologizes to anyone and that includes both his brother and his father. So why was he here saying this to you?

You laugh. "Right. You apologizing. That's a funny one." You turn back to your book and try to concentrate on the words on the paper instead of Dick's figure standing over you.

"Seriously Veronica, I am sorry. I was drunk and I shouldn't have done what I did"

You remember the look on Dick's face when he walked away with Duncan. Guilt. Could it really have been guilt? Like serious this is Dick Casablanca's you're talking about.

"You're not joking are you? Because if you are Dick I'll kick your ass"

He smiles. Dick is quite attractive. Well, if you look past his arrogant attitude and smugness then sure he _could_ be attractive. But you wouldn't do that, you wouldn't cheat on Logan…not now. Not after everything that's happened the past couple of weeks. Really you wish you were blind, at least then you wouldn't think about kissing other guys.

"No. I promise. I'll see you later Veronica"

He walks off. Was that really Dick or an impostor? Maybe you'll never know.

---

_I heard it was Darcy Baron who hooked up with him. Really it doesn't surprise me, he's a man whore. Plus Veronica so deserves to find out._

That was what you heard 2 hours ago as you left the girls' bathroom. You've been replaying those words in your head for the past 2 hours in class. Lucky for you Logan isn't in these 2 classes and you only have to see him at lunch.

The bell rings, you slowly get up because the faster you go the quicker you get to Logan and right now can you deal with him? As you leave the class room Logan is already at your locker waiting for you, you see him from your end of the corridor. He smiles, showing all his pearly white teeth. You smile, pursing your lips close together.

You approach him, he wraps his arms around you and kisses your lips. Perfume. You can smell it on him. Could he have really hooked up with Darcy?

"Hey, how was class?" He asks casually.

"Fine"

You shut your locker and start to walk outside to the lunch tables, Logan catches up and grasps your hand in his own. How can he do that? Pretend it never happened and just play house with you.

Maybe the girls were right. You do deserve this. After all you did cheat on Duncan with his best friend. At least it wasn't your best friend who Logan cheated on you with. But it still feels crap. He told you he loves you, why would he cheat on you?

"Are you okay?" He questions as you both sit and the lunch table.

"Yeah"

"You seem out of it. Are you sure?"

"I'm fine"

"Positive?"

Anger boils inside you. Like a volcano waiting to erupt and bring hell with it. That's what your insides feel. Any moment you will erupt and bring hell with you.

"I'm fine! God"

He seems taken aback by you. The people around start to stare. _Fighting already. I knew they'd never last._

Darcy Baron walks close by. You see the coy smile she gives Logan and the way his cheeks tinge red when she looks at him. He smiles back. Right in front of you. He could have had the decency to not do it in front of you. You're a god damn practicing detective for fucks sake, how can you not find out.

The bell for class rings. You get up and leave. Logan barely notices. When he starts to talk and realises you've left he gets up and runs to catch up with you. You say nothing.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"There's something wrong Veronica. Tell me"

The volcano inside you erupts. Red lava spilling out of every crevice and crack of the mountain.

"When you decide to tell _me_. Then I'll tell _you_" You pause. "I'm catching a ride with Wallace too, so don't bother waiting for me"

---

Wallace drops you off at your house. You can only think about what happens next. The talk with your dad. Oh god.

You get inside, your dad is waiting on the sofa for you. Your bag drops and you sit beside him.

"How was school?"

"Fine. How was work?"

"I have a new case"

"What's the case about?"

"That's not what we're going to discuss Veronica"

Yeah, okay so you _tried_ to get off topic at least for a few minutes so you could prepare for what your dad could say to you now.

"I know"

"So, this thing with Logan…is it…you know"

"Sexual?"

"I was going to say intimate, but that does the trick too"

Your dad blushes slightly. Obviously he thought you'd never grow up and he'd never have to have this talk with you. Ever. Sorry dad.

"Dad, do we have to talk about this? Really it's not necessary, I've had a billion sex ed classes and-"

"Veronica" He tells you sternly.

"Yes dad, it is intimate. Yes, we've had sex"

"Have you used um protection?"

Your eyes go wide. You can't believe he's asking you this. No, not all the times have you used protection but hey you're on the pill and the worst that can happen is you could get herpes or aids or something along those lines. Most likely you already have them from him anyway.

"Yes. Can I go now?"

"No. I want to talk about Duncan. Do you know why you cheated on him?"

"No dad I don't okay? I don't know why I did it, or why Logan Echolls, but I did. I'm going to go read for awhile"

You walk off into your bedroom and close the door. Well that was embarrassing, you never thought you'd have to have that talk with your dad.

---

Two knocks on your bedroom door awake you from the nap you took this afternoon after the talk.

"Come in" You yawn.

The door opens slightly and in walks a man. You can't really make out his face or any features right now due to the lack of light and the brain function that's taking it's time regaining.

"Hey"

Logan.

"What are you doing here?" It comes out more bitchy then you wanted it to.

"I came to see my girlfriend, but I have no idea where the fuck she's gone" He says angrily.

Guilty Veronica possesses your body.

"I'm sorry" He says and sits with you on your bed.

"It's fine. I deserved it"

"No you didn't. I'm sorry"

He looks at you with those adoring eyes and for a few seconds all is lost on what he's apparently done. Only to come back a short while later when he grabs your hand.

"Don't" You say.

"Why? What did I do wrong?"

You did Darcy Baron wrong.

"Why don't you tell me Logan?"

"Because I don't fucking know Veronica. If I knew I wouldn't be here risking getting killed by your dad"

Your heart melts slightly. He'd risk getting killed by your dad to talk to you. That's so sweet.

"Darcy" You whisper.

"What?"

"Darcy Baron. You fucked Darcy Baron"

He looks at you. "What?"

"You cheated on me with Darcy!" Tears fill your eyes and pour down your cheeks.

You sob, your hands wiping the tears you want to go away. Logan pulls you into his chest and wipes away a stray tear then pulls back your hair. You hear his heart beat, you hear him breath and him shushing you.

"I didn't cheat on you Veronica. I would never. I certainly wouldn't with Darcy Baron"

"I don't believe you" You cry.

Logan kisses your hand and holds you close. His scent fills your nostrils.

"Veronica, trust me. I wouldn't do that to you. I love you"

That's the problem. You _don't _trust Logan. How could you. You've known Logan since you were 12 and in all those years Logan has never been trustworthy, or the greatest friend in the world. Why should you trust him?

"No. I can't Logan"

Your boyfriend pushes you off him and gets up. You can see the fury his is gorgeous eyes.

"Fine. Don't fucking trust me Veronica. I'm sick of changing for you"

Logan don't go. That's what you wish you could say. But you can't and he leaves before you can say anything else.

---

You've slept about 20 minutes. It's 4.18 am, you have school tomorrow but you can't sleep. You feel awful about what happened with Logan, did he really cheat on you? You just don't know, Logan can't be trusted no matter how much you love him.

Tossing and turning in your bed grows tired and you get up to retrieve your phone. You flick through your phone book for Logan's name. When you stop at his name you contemplate calling him. Should you? He could be asleep and you don't really want to get him angry by waking him up.

Finally you decide to call him. His phone rings barely once before he answers.

"Veronica?"

"Hey"

"I've been waiting for you to call" He reveals.

"How'd you know I'd call?"

"Because it's me" Logan says smugly, you can only smile at how confident he is.

It's silent on both your end and his. You really don't know what to say, your heart is saying to apologize but your brain is telling you not to trust Logan. After all he is infamous for cheating on his girlfriends.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you" He says.

"Me too"

"But I didn't cheat on you Veronica. I really didn't, I wouldn't"

"I…I don't know Logan, I just don't think…I mean, how can I trust you?"

Is that Logan crying? You hear him sniffle. Oh no, you've made Logan cry.

"Are you crying Logan?" You ask astonished.

"No"

"I'm sorry, really I am Logan. I thought I could trust you but I just don't know anymore. People don't change. That includes you"

"So…we're breaking up then?" He asked in a not so subtle way. You almost regret saying what you said.

"I guess so. I don't want to, but if I can't trust you then how can we date?"

He sounded upset. You heard the choking sounds of what seemed like Logan trying to fight back tears. Don't sob Logan.

"Please don't cry Logan. I'm sorry"

"Yeah. Me too. For fucking believing that I could be anything more to you"

"You are. You're my lover Logan. I love you but this won't work"

"Why? Because 'People don't change'? People change Veronica, I have. I fucking changed my life for you. I wouldn't cheat on you. I love you so much Veronica" He was really choking on his tears now. "Please trust me. I promise you I didn't cheat on you. I can't lose you Veronica"

"Logan…"

"I swear on Lilly's life I didn't cheat on you Veronica"

"Then what were you doing with Darcy?"

"I…I can't say" He stutters.

"This is why I don't trust you Logan!"

"Fine. You really want to fucking know? I was planning a surprise for you and I needed to see Darcy about some arrangements. I was whispering in her ear because I was afraid someone would hear! So obviously who ever the fuck you got you fucking information off got the wrong idea"

"I…" Pause. Breathe. Sob. "I'm sorry"

"Veronica, don't cry"

"I'm so sorry Logan. I should have trusted you"

"Don't cry baby"

"Oh god. Who've I become to listen to stupid rumours?"

"Veronica, calm down. It's alright"

"I'm so Logan. I just love you so much and I don't want to get hurt"

"I love you too"

"Can you forgive me?" You ask him.

"Of course"

You brood a smile on your face and fall back on your bed.

"I have to go. Are you picking me up in the morning?" You ask, glad that you have your boyfriend back.

"Sure babe. I love you. Sleep well"

"You too"

You shut off your cell phone and get under the covers of your warm bed. You're glad that you called Logan because if you hadn't you would have been on edge right now wondering what was going on. Although you are upset about ruining his surprise for you and everything.

At least now you've began trusting Logan.

* * *

**Sorry it took me so long to update guys. I couldn't get anything out and god it was so hard to write. Unfortunately for me I have exams in a week and I had to rush to finish this chapter so due to the time I have to spend studying and crap I may not be able to get a chapter written or up in a week or two. Sorry for the inconvenience to my lovely reviewers and readers.**

**Thanks a billion. Please review. :) **


	7. Studying With Logan

Your arms are almost breaking off from the mass amount of books you are carrying to your car, plus the crap in your school bag. It's like carrying a ton of bricks.

"Let me take those" Logan says as he comes up behind you.

"You don't have to, it's fine. They're not as heavy as they look" You tell him trying to act all independent.

"Really, Veronica you're like a stick. I can see you're struggling, it'd be a pleasure to take my girlfriend's books, really"

You pass over your books. Logan takes them as well as the books he has in his hands.

"Jesus, Veronica. What were you planning on doing with all these?" He says, struggling himself to carry the books.

"Studying of course" You smile brightly.

"Studying what? The history of every country?"

"No, silly" You tell him, brushing a stray hair from his face. "Just our journalism assignment"

He stops in the middle of the hallway. "What?"

"We're interviewing Lane Beachly, some famous Australian surfer and I thought I'd borrow some books from the library and brush up on my surf history"

Logan rolls his eyes as walks with you to your car. You open the door and he drops the books on the passenger seat.

"Not riding with me?" You smirk.

He laughs and points to his car. "Come over later and we can study together…if you know what I mean" He winks and laughs, walking to his car.

"Yes, studying Logan!" You yell back as you get in your car.

Things with you and Logan have been good since the trust issue incident. You've not fought with him since then and there's been no sign of trouble. But living in Neptune you can guarantee you won't be in peace for long.

---

As you walk into your kitchen to grab a snack your dad looks at you and then at the overnight bag you have with you.

"Going somewhere?" He asks, suspiciously.

"Um yeah. I'm staying at…Wallace's…to do some studying for an assignment, I assumed it would be okay"

"Wallace's?"

"Yeah, I could go over there for a few hours and come back but I'd have to go back there in the morning…to um…um finish the assignment, so I thought I'd just stay there"

"Well…" He starts.

"Dad it's just Wallace, he's not my boyfriend or anything"

"Alright. But you and him are not to sleep in the same bed and you are to keep at least a mile between you" He jokes.

"Yes, dad" You mock.

You place a kiss on his forehead.

"Bye dad. I love you"

"Love you too sweetie. Have fun"

---

Logan's hand goes to your breast as his arm swings over you. You're reading a book about Lane's career, he's disturbing you.

"Logan" You growl. "Don't. We're studying"

"I am" He whispers as he kisses your neck. "I'm studying the female body"

"Logan" You growl again.

His hands pull you and all of a sudden you're on top of him, a leg either side of his hips. His hands place either side of your hips, your face above his.

"Echolls, seriously, we need to do this" You say in all seriousness.

"_Mars_, seriously, I need to do this" He mocks.

You and Logan have gone 8 days without sex. It's like a world record for Logan. Although at times you wanted to have him throw you down and fuck you senseless you didn't want to become addicted to sex and made a bet with yourself to see how long you could last without sex. That didn't include touching yourself, or each other.

His lips crash into yours in one move and his tongue slides inside your mouth, finding your own and tasting your sweetness. Logan pulls you in closer, your crotch resting above his erection.

"Logan" You murmur.

"Veronica" He moans.

"C'mon, we can't. Let's study" You tell him half heartedly as he kisses up and down your neck.

"You don't mean that" He whispers. No you don't.

Your top gets pulled off and your bra unclasped as his hands meet your breasts. He starts to pinch your nipples between two fingers and then his mouth latches onto one. Soon he lets go of that one and attaches his mouth to the other in a simple move.

"Oh…Logan…please can…we…oh…" You don't even finish your sentence.

Sure enough 5 minutes pass and Logan is inside you.

"Logan…fuck. We're meant to be…oh god…studying"

"We are" He says between a groan.

"Logan"

"That's it baby, oh fuck"

His hands make bruises on your hips as he clenches your body. Logan pumps into you over and over again, the slapping of your skins meeting each other, the only noise in the room. You feel the heat rise inside you and no sooner than you had thought it, you are screaming his name and he is exploding inside you.

"Fuck. Veronica, that was amazing."

"Glad we waited?"

"If that's what happens every time we go 8 days without sex, I'd gladly do it several times over." He laughs.

"Ha, Ha, Logan. Now can we study?"

"Sure babe."

An hour passes, the room is silent, Logan is asleep on the floor and you are taking notes on a note pad from a book about Lane's career.

"Logan?" You whisper.

He doesn't stir.

"God. You're like a baby."

Your phone rings and you answer it, noticing Wallace's name that pops up on the screen.

"My dad didn't call and ask to speak to me did he? 'Coz I kinda told him I was staying at yours for an assignment, but I'm at Logan's."

"Veronica."

"Oh I'm in shit aren't I?"

"No. But I think you should come home."

"Why? What's going on?" You ask as you start to panic and pack up the books.

"Look, V I think I'd rather tell you in person. Can you come over, or I can meet you at yours if you like?"

"Wallace, what's going on?"

"Veronica…"

"Wallace! Please, just tell me what's going on?"

"It's your dad Veronica. He's…he's…he's dead."

Silence. Shriek. Cry. Scream. Gasp. Can't breathe.

"Veronica?" Logan stirs.

"How!? How!?" You scream into the phone, tears pouring down your face.

"He…he went out and…and some drunken idiot crashed into him…your dad was instantly killed by the impact…I'm so sorry Veronica."

"No. Oh god. No."

"Babe, what's wrong?" Logan asks as you throw your phone to the wall, shattering it.

"No. No."

"Veronica." Logan grips your arms, shaking you. "Talk to me."

"I…I gotta go. I have to go."

"Veronica, I thought you were staying. What's going on?"

"I have to go. I gotta get home. I gotta get home."

"Baby, shh, calm down."

"I'll…I'll see you some other time." You tell him, walking past him and out the door before he has anymore chances to ask you what's going on.

"Veronica?" He calls out as you run down the hall.

Run. Escape. Go. Fast. Slow. Cry. Scream. Shriek. Run. Faster.

Faster.

Run.

---

Your car swerves into the parking lot at your apartment, the tires screech against the concrete. You furiously swipe at the tears that cascade down your rosy red cheeks.

As you rush into your apartment for signs of your dad, there isn't one. His keys are gone, his car too and even his laptop.

"Dad!?" You scream, maybe he's hiding.

"Dad!? Are you home!?"

Wallace rushes in the front door and grabs you from behind.

"V, calm down. Come on."

"My dad." You sob over and over again.

"It's okay Veronica. I'm here."

You push Wallace away firmly and stand a fair distance away, he looks at you with pity. You don't want fucking pity.

"Go home. I'm fine, I just need to be left alone." You tell him sternly.

"Please, let me-"

"Help!? You can't fucking help Wallace! Unless you can bring him back then fuck off alright!? If I need someone I'll call Logan so he can fuck me into next week."

"Come back to mine. My mom is expecting you."

"Tell your mum to go to hell."

Wallace turns to leave and then looks back at you. "Veronica, I'm not leaving you. I'll be back in half an hour with my mom okay? Stay here."

He leaves and as soon as he's driven off you leave you grab your phone and bag and leave the apartment. You drive for miles and miles and finally stop outside a gas station. Your phone rings, Wallace's name pops up. You hang up on him.

Several minutes later you dial the one person you know won't care whether your miserable or not and just fuck you into oblivion. Dick Casablancas.

"Talk to me." He answers.

"Hey Dick it's Veronica."

"Veronica?"

"Yeah. Are you busy? 'Coz I thought maybe I'd come around if it's not too late or anything."

"It's almost 2 am."

"Oh. Maybe I'll just go home then."

"No, it's fine…just, where's Logan? Did you guys break up or something?"

"No. I just felt like seeing you."

"Alright. Well I'm home alone so I'll leave the front door open, I'll be around somewhere."

"See you soon."

---

You walk inside the Casablancas mansion cautiously, inside it's dark and the vibe is less than happy but things like this don't worry you, you're here for the one thing you know Dick will gladly give to you.

"Dick?" You call out, your words choke in the back of your throat.

Making your way to the stairs you can start to hear muffled sounds from upstairs. As you stop outside Dick's room the sounds are clear and it seems that there is moaning coming from Dick's room. You turn around to leave thinking he's with another girl and you'll get your anger out somewhere else when you hear the last name you'd thought Dick would moan.

Duncan's.

"Fuck, oh god. Duncan."

You swing the door open to meet a surprised Duncan and Dick in the midst of having some late night fun together. Duncan looks to your from his position on his knees in front of Dick's crotch and Dick blushes slightly as you get the first glimpse of what lies beneath Dick's clothes.

"Veronica."

"I'll, um, go. Sorry, I…I shouldn't…bye."

Your halfway down the stairs before you realise it and Duncan is chasing after you half naked.

"Veronica wait!" Duncan calls out.

You stop. You don't know why, what possessed you to stop for him but you did. You turn to him with tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes and look him straight in the eye.

"Stay. Maybe we can have some fun."

"Actually, I might just go home. I've had a bad night."

He grabs your arm and pulls you up the stairs but the strange thing is you don't cry or scream or even yelp. He drags you all the way back to Dick's room without you kicking or protesting.

The usually confident and cocky Dick cowers under Duncan's angry eyes.

"Duncan, I should go. Logan's probably-"

"Logan doesn't love you Veronica. Not like I do."

Duncan pushes you onto your knees, you fall without words as he starts to pull down his boxer briefs before your eyes.

"Duncan." You strain from your hoarse voice.

Before you know it he's shoved his dick in your mouth, wordlessly you're mouth is wrapped around it, getting him off.

"Duncan, man this is wrong, Veronica doesn't want to do this."

"You think I wanted her to break up with me?"

"No, but this is different?"

"How? Because she's sucking my dick? The bitch is enjoying it."

You hear your phone start to ring in your bag, Dick grabs it before you have a chance and looks at the caller ID.

"It's Logan."

"Answer it." Duncan demands.

He presses the green answer call button, but you barely notice. Your body is so drained that right now you feel as light as a feather like you're barely here at all.

"Oh baby. Fuck, Veronica. Oh yeah, keep sucking."

"Veronica?" Logan shouts.

"Mmm, keeping going, V. That's it. You're so good at getting me off babe."

Dick hangs up the phone just as Duncan pulls out of your mouth he starts stroking his own cock and not long after you're covered in his cum.

"Can I…go?" You ask.

"No. We're not done with you."

"I think I should go. Logan's probably furious at me. I'll…um…see you later." You say as you start to get up off your knees and gather your things.

Duncan slams you against the wall, the back of your head hits the wall.

"Man, that was harsh."

"She deserved it."

"Alright boys, you've had your fun. I'll be going now." You tell them.

Duncan's hands collect around your neck as he pins you against the wall pushing his body against yours. He starts to undo your jeans and pulls them down your slender legs. Dick watches on like nothing's going on at all.

"Du…Duncan." You choke.

"Shut up."

He rips your panties off (Literally) and throws them to the floor. Suddenly he's inside of you and it hurts like hell because you're no where near ready for him and his Dick inside you.

"Duncan." Tears pour down your face.

You're not sure whether the tears are from the pain or the fact that you've lost your dad forever or maybe a little of both. Hell it could even be that you've cheated on Logan.

"Dude, I think she's had enough. Let her go."

"Nah, you have a go. She's tight as fuck."

Dick approaches you as Duncan lets you go. You slump to the ground and sob silently. Dick pushes you on your back and enters you slowly, it's not as painful but it's still rape.

"Stop." You cry out. "Stop."

"Fuck her. Think of what she did to me. She was fucking my best friend behind my back for weeks."

Thrust after thrust minutes became hours of torture and rape. It's very early morning around 6 am, Dick's fallen asleep on the floor and Duncan tied you to the bed some hours ago. Your phone rings again.

"Dick get that." Duncan groans.

"You get it." Dick complains.

Duncan grumpily answers your phone.

"Duncan? Where the fuck is Veronica?"

"Don't know man. Why?"

"I rang her hours ago and some guy was moaning her name. Has she been with you."

"She came around awhile ago but she left pretty much as soon as she got here."

"Why is her phone there?"

"She dropped it as she was running away."

"Alright. If you see her, can you give me a call? She's upset and I really need to find her."

"Sure man, I'll keep an eye out."

Duncan hangs up. Your left eye is swollen from a few punches from Duncan, you have a split lip and a cut below your right eye. The tears that constantly fall from your eyes sting the cuts with their salty water.

"Duncan, let me go please." You cry.

"Shut up." He growls, trying to sleep.

Minutes later Dick stirs and wakes up. He sees you and immediately he goes to untie you from the bed.

"Thank you, Dick. Thank you." You whisper, gathering your clothes and bag quickly.

"I suggest you tell no one of this alright?"

"Okay."

"I mean it Mars, if you don't…Duncan and I will beat up on you much worse then we did today."

"Can I go now?"

"Leave before Duncan wakes up."

You scurry out of the car and into your car. The morning sunshine stings your eyes painfully. Slowly you pull out of the Casablancas drive way and make the slow route back to your apartment complex. Logan's waiting outside your apartment for you, resting against the door.

Studying your appearance in the reflection you gather your thoughts and think up a story to cover the rape.

Key in lock, you turn the door, Logan wakes.

"Veronica! Fucking hell. Where have you been!? I've been worried fucking sick about you all night, Veronica!"

You step over him and throw your keys on the bench.

"Veronica, don't walk away from me! I think I have a right to know where the hell you've been!? I am your boyfriend!"

"Consider our relationship over with then." You tell him as you silently clean up the cuts and bruises around your face.

"What? Veronica! Don't ignore me."

He makes it to your bathroom and sees all the wounds. Naturally he gasps and moves to you. He touches all the bruises and cuts, you wince at each one.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. I just got into a fight."

"Tell me who. I'll kick their fucking ass Veronica."

"I don't remember."

You sit on the edge of the bathtub, Logan kneels in front of you and dabs antiseptic cream on your cuts.

"Where have you been babe? I've been so worried."

"It doesn't matter." You choke back tears.

"Of course it matters, Veronica. You could have been seriously hurt or injured and I wouldn't have known."

"Oh well." You sigh pathetically.

He gets up and grabs your arm, pulling you shakily onto your feet and staring down at you.

"Oh well? What the hell has gotten into you Veronica?"

Wallace yells out and your thankful that he's here to keep you from having this conversation with Logan.

"Thank god." Wallace says as he spots you. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Nothing okay? I just feel like being alone so can everyone just get the fuck out of my house?"

"No. I'm not going. I want to know what the hell is going on here."

You go to leave the room but Logan grabs you and pulls you back. Wallace seems like he's ready to punch Logan in the face and for a moment you think he probably could.

"Let her go man. Just let her go."

Reluctantly Logan lets you go and you run across the hall to your room, shutting and locking the door behind you and immediately starting to sob quietly. Mean while you listen to Wallace and Logan's conversation.

"Wallace tell me what's going on, she's my girlfriend and I care about her a lot."

"Look man, I think you should give her some space. She obviously doesn't want to talk about it to you."

"Talk about what with me!? And why wouldn't she? I'm her fucking boyfriend for god sakes, she loves me."

"Obviously not too much if she hasn't told you yet."

"Told me what? She's pregnant? Because I don't care, I love her Wallace."

Logan reduces to almost crying. Is that how worried he is about you?

"Her dad died a few hours ago in a car crash. I called her to tell her and just must have been at your place."

Logan is silent. He sits on the bathtub staring blankly at the wall in front of him.

"Oh god. She must be so upset. I…I don't know what to say to her."

"Go home. I have her handled for tonight. I'll call you tomorrow or something when she's out of shock and you can come over and get her if you like."

He walks out of the bathroom and stops at your door. He knocks a few times but you don't answer. You stare at the door, tears running down your cheek rapidly.

"Baby, I'm so sorry."

You go to say something but words escape you.

"I…I'm here for you, Veronica Mars. I love you and I'm going to make everything alright again, okay? Veronica?"

You watch the doorknob turn and Logan try to open it, but he fails.

"Just let me know you're in there Veronica. Let me know you haven't escaped out your window and gone to hurt yourself. I need to know you're okay."

"I'm okay." You strangle out of your voice.

But are you really okay?

* * *

Sorry everyone for the extremely long wait on the chapter. I guess it's mostly because of the lack of the reviews its hard to get motivated and think 'So many people are counting on this so I should hurry.'

This chapter really wasn't one of my best. I had this great idea and then it just kind of never turned out to be what I wanted it to be.

Anyway, there won't be another update for a week or two as I'm going away over Christmas. Merry Christmas everyone.


	8. Mourning Keith

It's been 1 week and 4 days since you've managed to escape the house or utter anymore than 'mmph' or a simple yes or no. You've not seen anyone besides Wallace for that whole time and quite frankly you could have done without his presence too.

Logan has been calling everyday but you refuse to talk to him. He's left emails and message and texts but you've not replied to any of them. By now you're sure he knows about your dad, it has to have gone around school for sure and that's why you haven't been answering mostly.

The cuts and bruises you had from Duncan and Dick raping you have healed mostly and you're almost looking normal again, besides the fact that your eyes are puffy and red from crying every day.

"Veronica? Are you hungry? I'm making spaghetti." Wallace calls out, but you are safely wrapped under your doona cover with your head covered with a pillow listening to the most depressing music you could find on your blackberry.

"V? You there? Earth to Mars."

Wallace peaks his head around the corner.

"Veronica, please come and eat. All you've had in the past week and a half is a few pieces of toast and some soup. We don't have to talk, I just want you to eat. Please, Veronica."

Slowly you get up, dressed in a light cotton pair of pyjamas and carrying a stuffed toy your dad won for you at a carnival a long time ago. You spot the spaghetti and twirl bits around your fork, eventually opening your mouth and putting some inside.

As you begin to eat there's a knock on the door and Wallace goes to answer it. You try to escape because you just know it's going to be Logan and he'll want to talk and you still aren't up for that and maybe you never will be again.

Surprisingly it's not. Weevil stands at the door dressed in his usual outfit of blue denim jeans a black shirt and a leather jacket. He gives you one look, that look that means he's sorry and it makes your heart melt and you break down in front of Wallace and Weevil.

"Weevil." You scratch out of your throat as you throw your arms around the biker.

"It's alright, V. I'm here now." He says, reassuring you.

You hold tight onto his jacket, letting your tears fall down the shiny leather as Weevils hands brush through your hair. He seems so tough and macho but when it comes down to his friends he's the sweetest guy around and you're suddenly glad he stopped by.

"Hey man do you reckon you can look after her for the night? It's my mum's birthday and I told her that I'd try and stop by."

"Nah, it's cool. You go, I'll stay with V, tonight."

Wallace smiles at you softly and apologizes with his eyes. But you don't hate him for leaving because he's been here ever since it happened, looking after you, cooking and buying you food even if you won't eat it. He's been cleaning the house and feeding your dog, sending emails to relatives about the death of Keith Mars and in your heart you are thankful to have Wallace in your life.

"I know you don't want to talk about this at all V, let alone with me but it helps to let it out." Weevil says soothing you with his voice.

"I…it just…my dad…and then Wallace…Logan and I…then...then…Duncan and Dick."

"What about Duncan and Dick? Did they hurt you?"

"N…no. I just…my dad." You sob, letting Weevil run his hands up and down your back.

"What happened between you and Echolls? I hate the kid but he makes you happy. Why isn't he over here?"

But before you can answer Logan bursts through the door with a huge bouquet of fresh flowers, chocolates, movies and large square wrapped thing all in his hands. The first sight he gets is of you in Weevil's arms with your mouth open ready to talk as he holds you tight soothing you with his voice and hands and you can tell he's not impressed.

"What the hell is going on?" Logan asks, placing the flowers on the bench along with the chocolate, movies and the gift.

"L…Logan…I"

"So that's it then? You can't talk to me so you go running to Weevil?"

"No…Logan it's not…not like that."

"Really Veronica, coz that's certainly what it fucking seems like to me."

"Logan, I just…my dad and everything…and…I."

"I was your boyfriend Veronica and you couldn't even tell me! What the hell does that say about us?"

"Don't yell at her man." Weevil says, warning Logan.

"Shut the fuck up Weevil. This is none of your business, go back to your granny."

"Watch it Echolls. Veronica is a dear friend and what's going on with her life is my business. I care about her which is more than I can say for you."

"Oh get a life will you? Veronica will never be low enough to date you Weevil so stop dreaming."

As Weevil goes to throw a punch you grab his arm and plead to him to stop. He does and you make him sit.

"Thanks Weevil. Logan, I think the best thing right now for all of us is if you leave."

"You'd rather have him here than me? I thought you loved me?"

"I did. I do. I just need to be alone Logan."

"Alone? Right. I get it." He picks up the gift and throws it to you. Luckily you catch it. "Sorry I bothered."

As the door slams you rip of the envelope off the paper and read the contents of the letter inside.

'Veronica Mars.

I'm sorry for what happened to your dad and getting angry at you but you have to know that I care about you enough to be worried about losing you. I think if I ever did I'd go crazy all over again like I did with Lilly only this time I wouldn't live to see another time because I could simply not go on without you.

I made this by hand for you because I think you'd really like it. It took me 3 days to make and I had to ask a lot of people for pictures. So I hope you appreciate the time and effort it took me to do this for you.

We'll never forget your dad Veronica and now you won't have to worry about it either because you have this.

I love you, I always will and someday I'm going to marry you Veronica Mars.

Logan Echolls.'

You tear the paper open and reveal a photo frame with a collage of pictures of you and your dad. Ranging from the time when you were young to just a few months ago. The present is so perfect and so heartfelt that you immediately feel sorry for kicking him out when all he wants to do is make sure you're okay and take care of you.

"Wow, V. Even I think that's great and I hate Logan."

"I…oh god…my dad." You say, the waterworks starting all over again.

Weevil wraps his arms around you and calms you down

---

The day of your father's funeral you are dressed in a simple black dress, cut below the knee and exposing as little cleavage as possible with a black over coat over the top. People gather at the grave site of Keith Mars, shedding a few tears and dropping flowers onto the casket.

As people come to give you their condolences Logan appears at the back of the crowd holding a bunch of white lilies and wearing one of his designer suits that you think look impeccable on him. He smiles at you softly and then drops the flowers on the casket and the priest begins to talk.

You sit between Weevil and Wallace, clutching Weevil's cheap (compared to Logan's) jacket with one hand and squeezing Wallace's hand with your other hand. Logan sits a few rows back watching you with those deep eyes and all you want to do is apologise for kicking him out the other day.

The priest begins to ramble and then it's time to give his eulogy and even though you are supposed to be doing it you just can't go up there.

"Now, Veronica Mars, Keith's daughter will give his eulogy." The priest announces and even though you have the speech written and all you have to do is read it, thinking about getting up there is making you faint.

"Veronica, let me." Logan whispers, appearing in front on your on his knees, pleading for you to just let him do what he likes best. Looking after you.

You give the sheet to Logan without a word and sit back. Logan whispers something to the priest and once again announces for the eulogy.

"Veronica has asked Logan Echolls to speak on her behalf."

Logan takes the podium and even though Logan is easy going and the least afraid of public speeches out of anyone you know, he looks uneasy and frightened.

"I'm going to read the speech Veronica prepared to read out." He pauses and looks down at the sheet.

"My dad was my hero, my best friend and at times my only friend. I cannot explain, show or tell you how much he meant to me or will always mean to me because as I see it undying love goes beyond anything anyone can comprehend or begin to show. My father was a simple man at the best of times and once was a protector of the public before he started his private investigator business. He taught me many things that I will keep with me forever. Things like not to be afraid of the world because it's just as afraid as you are. But I think the most important thing he taught me was to always be myself and stay true to who I am because in the end it's the best way to live life and if we all pretended to be people we weren't then life would be a lie. I respected my dad above all other people and not only am I losing my only family, best friend, father and hero but I'm losing my mentor because without my dad I wouldn't be who I am today and I know that as the years go on I will keep him with me and he will always be remembered for the man he was and that is what will keep me going. To Keith Richard Mars, protector, hero and father. Life will never be the same without you."

Logan nods his head at you and you smile at him a little. He leaves his standing position and returns to his seat.

Later on when the wake proceeds at the community hall you spot Logan walking towards you but for the first time since you lost your dad you don't run or hide or ignore him but you rather embrace him and smile as he heads your way.

"Logan." You choke, feeling the tears well up.

"It's okay. I'm here, Veronica. Just me. I'm always here." He reassures you, running his slick fingers through your tangled mess of hair.

"I'm so sorry, Logan. I was so confused and upset. I didn't know what to do."

"Shh, I know baby. It's fine. We're fine now. I'll never let anyone hurt you Veronica."

As soon as he says that you look over to your left and see Duncan and Dick conversing with some of the other 09ers. They all seem to be having a good time at the wake of your father's funeral.

"Logan, I need to tell you something." You say, staring directly into Duncan's eyes.

"What is it?"

"Can we go somewhere first?"

"Sure."

You and Logan walk outside into the Neptune sun. He holds your hand and kisses your forehead.

"That night, that Wallace called and I left you place, do you remember?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I went to Dick's house."

"Casablancas?"

"Yes. I needed someone to talk to that wasn't you or Duncan and Dick was the first person I could think of. At first I didn't go there to have sex or try and forget but then I just wanted to talk and he was just there and that's where I went."

"What's the catch Veronica because you're making me nervous standing here."

"Well, when I got there Duncan and Dick were both there and they were…well playing with each other…"

Logan starts to laugh but then sees the serious side to it all.

"What happened next?"

"Duncan made me suck him off then when I tried to leave again he hit me and then Dick and Duncan raped me and those bruises and cuts were Duncan's doing, but I'm so sorry Logan." You cry, hoping he'll forgive you.

He looks blank and you watch as he digs his nails into his own palm and his knuckles turn white.

"Logan?"

"I'm going to kill him. I told him if he ever…ever hurt you again I'll fucking kill him. I'll murder that fucking bastard Veronica."

You believe Logan. How can you not with a look like that. But you don't want Logan to lay a hand on either of the boys because Logan will get into to trouble and you can't live without Logan now.

"Logan please. Just leave it. I'll report it to the police."

"Veronica, you've been through enough without having an interrogation. Just let me handle this okay?"

"Please, Logan don't." You say grabbing his shoulder.

He shrugs you off and gives you a icy cold glare and then turns around and walks back into the hall. You follow and watch as he approaches the boys laughing and then takes them outside the back with him. As you run around the back you see Logan's car jetting off with both the boys hanging their heads out the windows.

Oh no.

---

It's 9.00pm. Logan hasn't called. Where is he? What has he done?

---

12.45am.

No call.

---

4.07am.

You awake from an hours sleep and have finally had enough of waiting to hear from Logan. You grab your keys, step past Backup and run out the door.

---

6.25am.

The streets are practically empty as the sun rises slowly. There's no sign on Logan's car and he's not answering his phone and either is Dick and Duncan.

You pray and hope to God that he hasn't done anything stupid. Please Logan. Please.

---

9.15am.

You retreat back to your apartment and find Logan's car outside in the parking lot empty but there's clearly blood stains on the seats in the back and smeared on one of the windows. What has gone on.

---

You get inside and find Logan sitting against the counter on the floor with his knees at his chest staring blankly at a bloody and bruised Duncan and a very hurt Dick. Both boys are lying barely alive on the floor with blood dripping on the floor and Backup sitting close by watching in horror.

Everything seems to go in slow motion as soon as you get in the door. Logan doesn't even look up at you as you rush to Duncan's side to check his pulse.

He doesn't even bother to help or talk to tell you what happened. He sits on his own staring at the mess he created. At least he brought them back here right? At least he didn't leave them to die in the streets or wherever this went down right? He has to get credit for that doesn't he?

"Logan, I need to know what happened." You ask, as you dial for an ambulance.

He doesn't reply.

"Logan please. I don't need this right now."

Blood seeps onto your clothes as you hold up Dick's head to check the damage. It's safe to say that Dick was not nearly as beaten as Duncan and for a minute you wonder how the hell Logan took on both boys and winning with barely a scratch on his delicious body.

You hear the sirens of the ambulance and the van pull up in the parking lot and then the footsteps to your apartment. The world slows as they get in, trying to comprehend what has happened. But why are they asking you? You have no idea what happened. So you point the finger at Logan and one of the police officers who have joined the party start to arrest Logan, but it's not unfamiliar for Logan.

"Do you know anything about the events Miss?"

"No…I just got home...I was looking for my boyfriend all night and then gave up and when I got back he was here with Dick and Duncan."

"How long have they been here?"

"I…I don't know…I couldn't…I mean…it's not been long. It couldn't have been right?"

"The dark haired boy has a lot of internal damage and suspected internal bleeding. Definite surgery and possible life support. He's in a pretty bad condition Miss, he'll be lucky if he survives the trip to the hospital." The ambulance officer informs you.

"And…and Dick?"

"He doesn't seem to have suffered as much as the other, a few stitches, a cast for his broken arm and possible internal bleeding. He'll be damn sore when he comes too and very sick but he's got a large chance of surviving."

"Good…I…oh god."

As the ambulance drives off in the distance and you see the police men take Logan away you sit on your blood stained couch finally and recollect your thoughts on how your losing everyone around you so suddenly and quickly.

"Weevil." You say simply as he answers the phone.

"Veronica, what's wrong?"

"I need you. I just need you."

"I'll be there in 5."

So as you wait on your blood covered couch with Backup by your side, staring into oblivion and wondering how suddenly and all so fast your life turned into a horror movie with as many twists and turns as The OC you can't get a grip and feel like you're losing yourself in all this mess and drama.

Like mourning Keith, your father wasn't enough now you most likely have to mourn the death of your ex boyfriend and possibly Dick Casablancas. What else have you to lose?

Best friend. Father. Ex boyfriend. Friend. Next will be Logan and the Wallace and then Weevil and slowly you'll become the last person on Earth as some punishment from God.

* * *

Sorry for the super long wait on this, but I had to think of something to write and then I just wasn't interested and stuff. Also sorry for the shorter than usual chapter but I'll try to update next time with a longer chapter and hopefully one set on more of a happier note. 


	9. Hearing The Whole Story

**Last night:**

"Duncan made me suck him off then when I tried to leave again he hit me and then Dick and Duncan raped me and those bruises and cuts were Duncan's doing, but I'm so sorry Logan." You cry, hoping he'll forgive you.

He looks blank and you watch as he digs his nails into his own palm and his knuckles turn white.

"Logan?"

"I'm going to kill him. I told him if he ever…ever hurt you again I'll fucking kill him. I'll murder that fucking bastard Veronica."

You believe Logan. How can you not with a look like that. But you don't want Logan to lay a hand on either of the boys because Logan will get into to trouble and you can't live without Logan now.

"Logan please. Just leave it. I'll report it to the police."

"Veronica, you've been through enough without having an interrogation. Just let me handle this okay?"

"Please, Logan don't." You say grabbing his shoulder.

He shrugs you off and gives you an icy cold glare and then turns around and walks back into the hall. You follow and watch as he approaches the boys laughing and then takes them outside the back with him. As you run around the back you see Logan's car jetting off with both the boys hanging their heads out the windows.

Oh no.

---

9.00pm.

Logan, Dick and Duncan are at a bar. Logan sits beside Dick who laughs as Duncan tells a joke. Logan watches as they carelessly live their moronic lives whilst he sits there contemplating whether he should kill them or not.

"Hey Echolls, what's up? You look kind of out of it." Logan's old best friend tells him.

"Yeah, I am actually." Logan replies, ordering another whiskey.

---

12.45am.

Duncan is passed out on the couch of Logan's hotel room and Dick is struggling to keep awake. Whilst the boys have had just as many drinks as Logan, Logan Echolls knows how to hold his alcohol and although he is struggling to stand straight he is far from passing out.

He sits there as Dick slumps over and finally gives into the alcohol.

Finally he gets up and moves to Duncan. He picks up the smaller boy in his arms, struggling slightly and then sits him on a chair and ties him up. As soon as he's done with Duncan he does the same with Dick and sits and waits for the boys to wake.

---

4.07am.

Dick stirs first, having consumed drinks with far less alcohol in them then Duncan and he immediately realises he can't move. Logan sits in his chair opposite the boys and stares at Dick trying to wrestle his way out of the tight rope around his wrists and ankles. He has no such luck.

When he looks up he notices Logan sitting there but as the light is scarce he doesn't realise where he is or if Logan is tied up or not. So he speaks.

"Echolls, you tied up man?" He whispers.

"No." Logan replies, keeping that scary and mysterious look about him.

"What? What's going on?" Dick's voice rises.

Duncan arises and his head shoots up and he almost tips himself and the chair over when he tries to move.

"Dick…"

"Logan's flipped Duncan, he's crazy."

"Crazy?" Logan laughs, but it's nothing pleasant, if anything it sends chills down both the boys' spines. "Fucking crazy? Would I be crazy if I was defending my fucking girlfriend?"

"Wha…What are you talking about?" Duncan stutters.

"You…and you. I told you…if you ever, ever touched her again, I'd goddamn fucking kill you."

"We didn't touch her Echolls." Dick pleads.

That's when Logan throws his first punch. It hits Dick right in his jaw and the crack of bones is clearly heard.

---

6.25am.

"Fucking." Logan's foot collides with Duncan's shin and then again and again and again until Duncan's eyes are tear filled.

"Please." Duncan pleads.

"No." He punches the boy over and over as Dick watches on, scared for his own life.

When Duncan is so hurt that he can't move anymore Logan unties him and throws him across the room where he runs into the wall and almost knocks himself unconscious.

"I told you." Hit. "I." Hit. "Fucking." Hit. "Told." Hit. "You."

Over and over again Logan hits and kicks Duncan, leaving a bloody broken boy on the floor barely alive. When he's satisfied with Duncan he unties Dick and starts brutally beating the other. But it's not as bad as Duncan. Dick suffers not even half of what Duncan has.

But eventually both boys lie on the floor barely breathing.

---

9.15am.

Logan hears Veronica pull up into the car park her car screeching to a stop. She notices his car and examines what a mess it is. Blood everywhere.

Logan sits against the counter, his knees hugged to his chest, staring blankly at his mess. His mess.

Flash backs of him trying to kill both boys replay in his head over and over like a mini movie. It's slowly torturing him.

And then the door opens and Veronica walks in. She stops for a brief moment and looks at Logan, but he doesn't look at her. He can't face her. What a horrible monster he is.

She tends to Duncan, checking his pulse. It's barely there.

Logan doesn't speak or look or help as she tries to check if they're alive.

"Logan I need to know what happened." She says to him.

She dials for an ambulance but your head is a mess. Hit. Punch. Kick. Kill. Hurt. Blood.

"Logan please, I don't need this right now." She pleads.

He doesn't talk. He hates himself for not telling her because it's true she's been through enough without him killing two of her childhood friends. Her father's just died and she doesn't need to witness another two deaths in her own house.

The police and ambulance officers arrive and Logan gets taken away quickly.

---

**Present time.**

You finally wake from a 6 hour sleep. You barely remember the events of last night before Weevil came over. You remember calling Weevil and crying in his arms as soon as he got here.

As soon emerge from your bedroom dressed in a pair of pink cotton pyjama pants and a singlet top Weevil notices you and picks his head up from scrubbing the carpet trying to erase the blood.

"Good morning." Weevil greets, placing the carpet cleaner and scrubbing brush on the bench.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to get the stain out of the carpet…I tried but I don't think it's coming out."

You look down at the several small spots of blood on your carpet, the rather large one where Duncan was lying and the few splotches on your couch.

"Hey, don't worry, V. It's all okay. If you want we can go see Duncan and Dick today…and I'm sure Echolls will be fine. He's got a good lawyer, god knows his money can buy one." Weevil attempts to cheer you up.

"I'm sure." You sort of smile.

"Why don't you go shower and get dressed whilst I run home and get a fresh pair of clothes?"

"Okay."

"I'll be back to pick you up in half an hour." He says, kissing your forehead.

You watch as Weevil leaves, wondering if maybe he'll disappear like all of your other friends have at the moment.

---

Half an hour later Weevil shows up dressed in a slightly darker pair of jeans then he was yesterday and a discoloured black t-shirt. He grabs your keys off the bench and locks the door after you exit.

"Want to take your car or do you want to ride my big ol' hog?" Weevil smirks.

"My car." You tell him, trying to really smile.

When you arrive at the hospital you wonder on whether you should visit them or not. Why should you really? They raped you. But your boyfriend beat them half to death. You sit in the car staring at the hospital.

"We don't have to go in today, Veronica."

"I…I want to."

"Alright. Well take your time."

A few minutes later you unbuckle your seat belt and climb out the car, making your way to the hospital entrance. You arrive at the floor Duncan and Dick are on with Weevil by your side.

"Can I help you two?" A nurse at the station asks.

"We're looking for Duncan Kane and Richard Casablancas." Weevil says for you.

The nurse looks down on a sheet of paper and clucks her tongue.

"Mr Kane is still in surgery and won't be allowed non-familial visitors until further notice. Mr Casablancas is available though. Would you like to see him?"

"Yes. Please." You reply gripping onto Weevil's jacket.

As the nurse starts to wind through corridors and pass various rooms you start to feel faint and wander in and out of your own world before the nurse catches your attention.

"Alright, stay out here for a second and I'll just see if he's up for visitors. May I ask your names?"

"Veronica and Weevil." You respond.

The nurse walks in the room, you hear her ask Dick if he's up for the visit, he replies but his words are mumbled through the door.

"Okay. You can visit." She says as she leaves the room. "Any problems and just press the red button beside the bed."

You walk in and are shocked to see Dick there with a cast on his broken arm and a few stitches above one of his eyes. His face is badly bruised and he still has dry blood on his lower lip.

"Hi." You say softly, taking a seat next to his bed on one of the chairs as does Weevil.

"I'm sorry Veronica. I…I don't know what else to say."

"No. I'm sorry that Logan…you know. I should have stopped him. What you did was wrong but Logan…Logan could have killed you."

"He should have finished the job." Weevil snarks, clearly wishing that Logan had finished the job.

"Weevil…" You start.

"No, V, it's alright. He's right. I'm scum. Logan should have finished the job. Have you seen Duncan yet?" Dick asks.

Your eyes wander around the room nervously, not knowing how to tell Dick that his best friend is still in surgery and still critical. You see a police officer talking to a nurse not so far from Dick's room and you know that it's for your statement.

"He's still in surgery Dick. They've not changed his condition either. We're not sure if he'll…um-"

"Make it?" Dick replies, clearly choking on his own words.

Suddenly a knock disturbs all your thoughts and the police officer along with a nurse enters the room.

"Veronica the officer would like to talk to you and Dick it's time for some rest. Your friends can come back later."

Weevil places his hand at the small of your back as he directs you out of the room and into the clean, white and silent halls of the dreary hospital.

"I'll be over there V if you need anything."

You nod in his direction and turn your attention to the officer.

"You're Veronica Mars correct?"

"Yes."

"You were the girl sexually assaulted and raped by…" He pauses to look at the names on his sheet. "Richard Casablancas Junior and Duncan Kane?"

You gulp as the realization hits you. It's only then that you've heard someone actually confirm, that yes, you were in fact raped by your first love and the boy you used to be best friends with when you were younger. The two guys you used to trust more than anything raped you and sexually assaulted you.

"Miss Mars?"

"Yes. Yes, they…they, raped me and, and…the other stuff."

"Alright. We're going to have to take you down to the station for some more questioning now Miss. You do have the right to a lawyer in this questioning and the right to dismiss any questions we ask." The officer says as you both start to walk down the corridor.

Your head feels light and funny and for a second there you almost faint. Weevil glides by your side and holds your arm tightly, steadying you. If that wasn't scary enough, how the hell were you, Veronica Mars supposed to afford a lawyer? Sure you could have the free ones, but aren't the payed ones better?

---

Down at the station you see Logan in one of the overnight cells. He's asleep, his head against the wall and his knees brought to his chest. He still has blood splattered on his expensive shirt and probably even his pants and you can see how tired his face is.

"Through here Miss Mars." The officer says, directing you into one of the private rooms.

As soon as your name is said Logan's head shoots up and his eyes lock on your own, but only for a second for you are too afraid of what you'll find if you look to closely or too long. You turn your head and grab onto Weevil's jacket fiercely.

"I'm sorry Miss Mars but he won't be able to come in with you. You are allowed a call for a lawyer but I see you've already got one." The officer says pointing to a suited man waiting in the conference room.

"Hi, Peter Richards."

"I…I didn't call…how?"

"Logan Echolls phoned, said someone close to him needed a good lawyer."

You smile slightly and sit in one of the chairs across from the officer.

"Okay, I'm going to put this tape on as a recording of the conversation for court if you decide to press charges Miss Mars. Please speak up and make it clear what you are saying."

"Okay."

"Let's start from the beginning, Veronica. What were you doing?"

"I…I was supposed to be at Wallace's-"

"Please state who Wallace is for the record Miss Mars."

"He's my best friend. I was supposed to be there studying, that's what I told my…my dad. But I went to my boyfriend's house, Logan Echolls instead. We were studying and…and Wallace called. I thought at first maybe my dad had called him and Wallace had spilled but then when I answered Wallace didn't seem happy at all."

"Go on."

"So I asked him to tell me what was going on. And he did. Turned out my dad was in a car crash and he died. Logan wanted to know what was going on but I couldn't…I couldn't…tell him. I don't know why, I was confused and angry and upset. So instead of sharing with him what I was going through I left."

"What happened then Miss Mars?" The officer continues as he writes notes down as you speak.

By now you are sobbing and struggling through sentences.

"I rang Richard Casablancas junior …also know as Dick and asked to see him. I'm not sure why though. I think…I think because…because he was not Logan and I needed to talk to someone who wasn't Logan. So…I…I went to Dick's and he was with Duncan and when I walked in…in Dick's room Duncan and him were…together…sexually."

"Duncan whom Veronica?"

"Duncan Kane."

"Okay, please continue."

"When I tried to leave, Duncan…he came after me. I stopped but then I started to go again. That's when he grabbed my arm and dragged me up the stairs. I…I don't know why but I didn't scream or try and resist. I was in so much shock from my dad…I really wasn't sure what was going on."

The police officer notes more things down on his pad of paper. You realize that you've let a couple of tears stray from your eyes and that you're slightly shaking.

"We got to Dick's room and he pushed me to my knees and pulled down his underwear. I tried reasoning but he shoved his…p…penis in my mouth." You sob quietly. "I went along with it and then my phone rang. I knew it was Logan and I wasn't wrong. Dick answered my phone and then Duncan started groaning and yelling out my name."

"Do you remember what he said exactly Miss Mars?" The officer asks.

"He told me to keep sucking and said my name. I…I don't remember exactly. Sorry."

"No. Don't be. Please continue."

"I heard Logan call my name but Duncan wouldn't give up and he told me to keep going and then said I was getting him off good. Dick hung up and then Duncan pulled away and came over my face. I asked to leave but they wouldn't let me."

The lawyer soothes you by patting your back.

"That's when Duncan slammed me against the wall. I hit my head and Dick said something but I'm not sure. I tried to leave once again and then Duncan's hands wrapped around my neck…I couldn't breathe. He pulled down my pants as Dick watched on. I tried to say his name but he kept holding tighter."

"What happened next?"

"He…he…he pushed inside of me." You cry.

"It's alright Miss Mars, take as long as you need."

"Dick tried to tell him to stop but Duncan wouldn't. He told Dick to have a go. So he did. It wasn't as forceful as it was with Duncan though. I was yelling out stop over and over but they wouldn't. Duncan said I deserved it for cheating on him. For hours they kept taking turns and hitting me."

"And then what?"

"Dick and Duncan fell asleep but I was tied to the bed. My phone rang. Duncan answered it. It was Logan again. Duncan lied about me being there and then hung up. I asked him to let me go again but…but he wouldn't oblige and fell back asleep. A few minutes later Dick awoke and untied me. I left as quickly as possible. That's all."

"Okay. Thank you Veronica. We'll be calling you in a few days possibly for information on the bashing of Dick and Duncan. For now you can go home and get some rest. We'll question the boys and you can decide what you'd like to do."

You get up and the lawyer directs you out of the conference room. Logan is standing at the bars waiting for you to submerge. As soon as you're out Logan looks at you and calls your name.

"Veronica! Please talk to me…look at me!"

For a second you look up but you are still afraid of what you'll find. So you walk quickly to Weevil and ask him to take you home.

"Please Weevil. I need to go home. Please." You whisper, crying.

"Alright, V." He says stroking your hair.

You walk out of the police station quickly. The whole ride home you are silent and so is Weevil. What is going on? Will it ever be the same again? For once in your life you do not know anything about anything.

* * *

Sorry for th super dooper long wait on this guys. As life goes school started back a month ago and I've been really busy with homework so I've barely had any time to think let alone write a half decent chapter for you all.

Hoefully the homework will lessen a little and I can get another chapter up before I go to Greece at the end of next month.

Read an Review.


	10. Ending The Relationship

You turn the TV on, still dressed in your Felix The Cat pyjamas and fresh out of bed. The TV takes a few seconds to change from the black screen to the program but as soon as sound fills your ears its clear what the woman on the news said.

"…and Logan Echolls will be released on bail today after being arrested for the assault and attempted murder of Duncan Kane and Richard Casablancas Junior. It's only one of many top stories we've followed with the Echolls family. It was only a few years ago Aaron Echolls was put on trial for the murder of Lilly Kane…"

Your phone vibrates on the coffee table and awakes you from your stupor. You place down your steaming cup of coffee and read the caller ID.

Weevil.

"Hey." You say, a smile on your face.

"Hey V, what are you doing today? Thought we could hang out, get a bite to eat maybe?"

"Aww geez Weevil, didn't pick you for the caring type."

"Just looking out for you." He pauses. "It's better you out with me then staying home watching TV all by yourself right?"

It suddenly clicks why he's doing this. He doesn't want you to know Logan is out on bail.

"Oh right. This is about Logan. Thanks Weevil, but I already know. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I plan on having a day to myself today to clear my head and stuff."

"What if…"

"Logan comes around? He won't and if he does, you'll be the first I'll call. Bye Weevil."

You hang up before he says anything else and pick your coffee back up. Turning the channel to another station with the news you watch and listen to the rest of the top stories.

"…3 people died and 4 were injured. Witnesses say it was a horrific accident. In other news Logan Echolls, son of the late Aaron Echolls was let out on bail today after he was arrested 2 days ago for the assault and attempted murder of two of his class mates. He said this in a press interview held 15 minutes ago."

You want to change the channel and not hear what Logan has to say about anything but you find yourself entrapped in the goings on. Logan approaches the hoards of reporters and microphones, his lawyer by his side, dressed in a suit looking every bit as handsome as you remember him.

"Mr Echolls, Mr Echolls! What provoked you to go on a murderous rampage!?" A reporter yells.

"I'm not obliged to answer that. In fact all I am allowed to say is that I did not intend to kill Mr Kane or Mr Casablancas and apologize. I was not in the right mind and have been battling with emotional distress for awhile now. Thank you."

As Logan walks away from the rampaging press and hoards of questions you turn off the TV and war with your mind whether or not you should call him.

Before you can find the answer your cell rings and Logan's name displays on the caller ID.

To pick up or not to pick up, that is the ever lasting question.

You pick up.

"Hello."

"Veronica."

"Logan."

"I'm sorry, so sorry Veronica. Can I come over?"

"I think that's best. We need to talk."

"I'm around the corner. See you soon. I love you."

You hang up and await Logan's arrival.

The door opens and Logan walks in, still wearing his suit.

"Felix The Cat, Veronica? A little old aren't we?"

"For Felix? Never." You wittily reply.

He sits beside you and smiles. God you've missed him. You've missed his smile, especially when he's smiling at you. You've missed that distinct, Logan scent and his alluring eyes.

"I'm sorry. I was just so angry at them, Veronica. What they did to you…it was…I just…I couldn't let them get away with that. I love you so much, I want to protect you."

"Logan…"

"No, Veronica, please. Just listen. You mean the world to me, you're all I have left now, my dad's gone and I don't talk to the rest of my family. I love you, god Veronica what I wouldn't do for you."

Logan stops and gets down in front of you on his knees, pulling out a velvet ring box and bearing a smile on his adorable face whilst blushing a little. You don't know what to do.

"Marry me, Veronica Mars. Be my wife, my Mrs Echolls. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to love and cherish you. I want to spoil you and protect you and love you more than anyone else has."

Thirty seconds pass. Logan looks at you expectantly. He wants you to jump up and down and scream yes and kiss him and love him and then make love with him for hours on end until you're both too tired to move and then you fall asleep in his arms.

Sorry Logan, you don't get your happy ending.

"I'm sorry. I can't."

"What? Veronica, I don't mean now, or next year or 2 years, I mean one day. We can be engaged for 50 years it doesn't matter. I just want you to be mine."

"No. Logan, I'm sorry. It's over. I can't do this anymore." Tears fall down your cheeks.

"Hey, please don't cry." He says, reaching out to wipe away the tears.

"Don't. We're over. I don't want to be with you anymore. I can't take this epic tale anymore. We're too epic for me Logan. I need to feel safe and stable. You can't give me that. We can't do that together. I think you should leave now."

You count four tears escape Logan's once bright eyes. Just four and then they stop. They stop and he sniffles and places the ring box in his jacket. He gets up, opens his mouth and then closes it and leaves.

---

With your bags packed, a plane ticket in hand and Weevil and Wallace by your side you are ready to board your plane to Australia. Australia, a far away place from here where Logan won't be and you won't have everyone to deal with. You can be someone you're not. Someone new and exciting.

"Are you sure you want to do this, V?" Weevil asks.

"No. But I have to. Neptune has my history and I want to start new."

"Then move to L.A, or Kansas but not Australia." Wallace pleads you.

"Aww, I'm going to miss you too Wallace."

"I'm serious Veronica."

"So am I. Australia is far away and different and new, where no body knows my name or who my ex boyfriend was. Who I am or was, who Lilly, Duncan or Dick were or are. I need this."

The announcement for your flight goes over and you hug Weevil and thank him for everything. He leaves and you're left with Wallace. You say your goodbye to Wallace and hug him, telling him that you'll miss him and he starts to walk away.

"Wallace!?" You yell.

"Yeah?" He turns around.

"Whatever you do, if Logan asks, you don't know where I went, right?"

"Right." He says sadly.

You wave your goodbye one last time and go through to board your plane to Australia.

Goodbye Neptune, hello Down Under.

---

Several hours later you're on the plane and a lady sitting behind you taps your shoulder and you awake from your day dreaming.

"Excuse me are you Veronica Mars? That girl who was raped by Duncan Kane? Logan Echolls girlfriend right?"

"Yes." Unfortunately.

"Oh my god. How awful for you dear, that must have been a horrific time for you and then your boyfriend goes and tries to murder the boys. Oh dear, I hope your parents helped you through your hard time." She says sympathetically.

But she doesn't know that your mother left you and your father is dead and at the moment you're so furious and upset and tired that you're going to tell her so she'll pity you and feel awful for ever starting a conversation with you.

"Well actually a few years ago my mother left after having an affair with my best friend's dad and just a month or so ago my dad died after being in a car accident. So no, they weren't there to help me through my hard time and in fact I went through it all alone." You snarl.

"I'm sorry. Didn't you have friends to comfort you?"

"My best friend Lilly Kane died a few years ago, Duncan, who was my boyfriend awhile ago raped me, Dick Casablancas hates me, Logan was in jail, Wallace was away. So I turned to a former PCHer, criminal, Weevil." You smile fakely and hope the lady will just leave you alone.

She does. The lady turns around and whispers to her friend how rude you were being and then continues to doze off like every other person on the plane. But you can't sleep. Every time you close your eyes you are reminded of how alone you are, with no mom or dad or boyfriend. You are all alone.

And if that wasn't bad enough you're now moving to Australia where no one will know your name or your life and you won't have any friends. You have to find a job to support yourself due to the little money you saved and a place to stay.

Life sucks for you.

---

Your plane lands and soon you're outside the Melbourne airport waiting for a taxi. You have no idea where you'll go, but the first step is to catch a cab to the city and find somewhere.

Eventually one arrives but as you go to grab the door some selfish guy pushes in front of you and goes to get in.

"Excuse me but I had this taxi first."

"Sorry mate but I was quicker to the door. You can have the next one."

"Look _mate_ I'm having a bad day/week/year/couple of years, I'm not in the mood to play nice so unless you plan on having a black eye I suggest you get out of the cab so I can get in and go to where ever the hell I am going."

"What part of the US are you from?" He asks stupidly. As if you hadn't just threatened to hurt him.

"California. Now will you get out?"

"Where ya heading?"

"The city."

"Hop in. I'm off that way too."

You get in the cab with the strange man, sitting as far away as possible.

"Names Daniel, but everyone calls me Danny boy."

"Veronica." You reply.

"What brings ya down under V?"

"It's _Veronica_." You sound it out like he's four.

"Okay, _Veronica_, what brings you to Australia?" He asks again sounding less like an idiot than before.

"Time for a change, where no one knows who I am."

"That bad in good old California then?"

"Yes."

For awhile you both sit their in silence.

"Where exactly are you heading?" He asks.

"I'm not sure. I haven't planned anything I was just going to stay in a hotel tonight and figure the rest out later."

"Well, look, this may be weird but I live in an apartment building with 2 of my mates and we have another spare bed in the place and if you want you're welcome to stay, save that money for something else maybe."

Could your luck get any worse than it has been? Answer: No.

"Sure. Why not? What have I got to lose besides my life?" You joke.

---

When you walk inside 'Danny Boy's' apartment you are very surprised to find it immaculately clean and fresh smelling.

"Hey guys, can you come out here for a few!" Danny yells through out the apartment.

You hear deep male voices, a lot of stamping and then laughing as the two males show up out of a room dressed in a pair of boxer briefs each. They blush immensely when they spot you but still come forward to greet you.

"Veronica Mars this is Nathan Coz, or Cozzie and Ryan Elfman. Cozzie and Ry, this is Veronica Mars. She's from California."

Nathan (Or Cozzie) shakes your hand with a big goofy smile. Ryan just nods and says hey.

"You a friend of Danny's then?" Ryan asks.

"Actually-"

"Yeah, she is. Known her since I was a kid." Danny interrupts.

"Yeah." You mutter.

"Like a beer?" Nathan asks you.

"No thanks, I'd like some soda though, if you have any."

"Ha ha, soda. God you Americans crack me up." Nathan laughs as he pulls a can of coke out for you.

You sit down on the cool red sofa, placing your luggage beside the sofa and your bag on your lap. You watch as the three boys communicate and talk about sports amongst naked girls.

"So, Veronica, we were actually going to go out and have a few drinks with some mates. You're welcome to come along with us and meet everyone." Nathan says, finishing his beer off.

"Um sure. I guess so." You reply. "Can I get changed first? I've been in these clothes for hours and hours."

"Yeah, there's a spare bedroom two doors down the hall on the right. It's yours babe."

Babe. Logan sometimes called you babe.

---

Danny, Nathan and Ryan sit around a bar with three girls and another guy laughing and having fun whilst you sit on the end drinking some sort of alcoholic beverage. You've not been introduced to the girls yet but from what you can see they are the classic slut type. Just like girls back in Neptune.

"Oh, shit. Veronica, we forgot to introduce you to the girls. This is Amanda, Ellie and Tess. Manda, Ellie and Tess this is Veronica Mars."

"Hi." You politely greet the three girls.

Amanda and Tess give you dirty looks but Ellie genuinely smiles at you and moves down a few places to sit beside you.

"So, how'd you know Danny?" She asks.

"We've been friends for a long time."

"Oh that's cool. Guess you're staying with them then?"

"Yeah."

"That's so awesome because like Danny is my boyfriend and I go over there a lot. Maybe we can hang out, I'll take you shopping in Melbourne, we have some pretty cool shops 'round here."

You try your hardest to enjoy her company but you miss your friends. You miss hanging out with Wallace, bantering with Weevil and doing your detective work.

"Thanks. Can you excuse me, I have to make a phone call."

You get up from your seat and tell the boys you'll be right back. You make your way out the back of the bar and pull your phone out of your bag. You have three missed calls, seven text messages and three new voicemail messages.

All three missed calls are from Logan.

All seven text messages are from Logan.

All three voicemail messages are from Logan.

You read the text messages.

'Babe, answer ur cell pls'

'Tlk 2 me'

'V where r u I tried ur house but no1 was there. Call me pls'

'Wallace said u've not been home where did u go'

'V I'm worried u won't answer my calls or my txts r u in trouble pls call me when u read this'

'Veronica r u ok?'

'Bby where r u? Pls just call, I'm worried ur hurt. I luv u'

You dial the voicemail number and listen to all three.

"Hey it's Logan, I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry you freaked out about the proposal it was stupid and I'm sorry. We don't even have to be engaged Veronica, I just love you so much I was scared I was going to lose you. I guess I still did. Call me back please, I love you."

"Hey Veronica, it's me again. Just calling to know where you are. I saw Wallace and asked if he'd seen you but he said you hadn't gone home yet. Are you with friends? Just let me know where you are and if you're okay. Love you."

"Babe, I'm getting worried. Are you in trouble? You haven't answered my calls or texts. Please let me know if you are okay Veronica, I can't stand not knowing. I love you."

You place your phone back in your bag and sit down on the dirty ground outside. You're getting dirt all on the back of your jeans but you don't care. Tears form in your eyes and you try so hard not to let them escape but they do and soon you're sobbing to yourself.

"Veronica?" A voice asks from the backdoor.

"Yeah, I'm…I'm coming in now."

"Are you okay?"

It's Ryan.

"Fine." You say, quickly wiping the tears away.

"You've been crying."

"I just miss Neptune. It's okay. Really, I'm fine." You squeeze out a smile.

"Is there something on your mind? I'm a good listener and I can keep a secret." He says, helping you off the ground.

"Can you keep more then one secret? I have a few."

"Sure. Do you want to go somewhere and talk?"

"Here's fine." You say, sitting back on the ground.

Ryan sits beside you; his black hair falling in his eyes as he nervously plays with his lip ring. His dark blue denim skinny leg jeans get dirty with the ground but he doesn't seem to mind. He takes off his black hoodie when he notices you're shivering and places it around your shoulders.

"I left Neptune because I've been having a bad few years. A few years ago I had everything. I was popular, on the cheerleading squad, I had a great boyfriend who lived in the 09 area and an awesome best friend."

"09 area?"

"The rich part of town."

"Go on."

"It all fell apart when my best friend Lilly Kane was found dead by her pool. My dad was a sheriff back then and I was with him when he got the call. It said something about a disturbance at the Kane residence and I was worried Duncan was hurt."

"Who's Duncan?"

"He was my boyfriend, also Lilly's brother."

"Oh."

"So I went with my dad and rushed inside. I found Duncan sitting by himself. He was really shook up and then when I went outside to see what was up I found Lilly dead beside the pool. She had a head wound and her eyes were open. It was so horrific."

"That must have been horrible."

"It got worse. My dad accused Mr Kane of the murder and was voted out of the sheriff's office, my mom then left us and I was shunned from popularity. Duncan wanted nothing to do with me anymore and neither did anyone else."

"Wow."

"Then this year I got back with Duncan and I loved him I really did but there was always this weird vibe sort of thing between Logan and I-"

"Logan is?"

"Duncan's best friend. He's an arrogant asshole who thinks money and girls are everything."

"I see."

"Anyway, Logan came over to my house one day and I can't even remember why. My dad was away for the weekend and I was enjoying the peace and quiet. It wasn't meant to happen but it did and I slept with him. It was great, better than when Duncan and I did it and it was just so right. So we kept doing it until Duncan caught us."

"Crap."

"He was furious at me and kicked Logan out. We broke up and I started dating Logan. Logan is really fucked up. His dad used to beat him and he was horrified when he found out it was his dad who killed Lilly Kane, who was his girlfriend. Not so horrified when his dad was killed though."

"He sounds…"

"Screwed up. Yeah. So Logan and I started dating but as is anything with Logan and I, it's epic and there's bound to be fights. One night we went to this party at Dick's house…Dick is an 09er-"

"09er?"

"Part of the popular crowd who lives in the 09 area. Duncan was there and he got Logan drunk and he passed out and then Dick and Duncan tried to have sex with me, Logan was so angry at them when he woke up he beat the shit out of Duncan and Dick."

"He sounds very protective of you."

"He was. Then one night I was at Logan's studying with him and I got a phone call from Wallace. My dad had died in a car accident. I don't know why but I couldn't tell Logan. So I left without an explanation and for some reason I ended up at Dick's house with Dick and Duncan. They raped me but I didn't tell anyone for awhile. But when Logan found out, furious is such an understatement. He went after them and tried to kill both boys. Dick and Duncan were both put in hospital and Logan was accused of attempted murder and assault. I had to make a statement and it was horrible."

"He sounds like a bit of a lunatic." Ryan smiles.

"He is. When he got out of jail on bail he came to my house. I was upset and angry but he proposed to me." You smile softly. "He told me he didn't want to lose me and that he wanted me to be all his. But I couldn't. I couldn't say yes. I love Logan but we're too epic for the world to cope with. It'd never really work."

"I'm so sorry Veronica. Is that why you left?"

"Yes. But please don't tell anyone else. I came here for a new beginning, a new start."

"I won't. Let's go back inside and have a few more drinks."

Ryan helps you up and gives you a big hug then leads you into the bar. You don't know, but maybe this will be your new beginning and soon you'll forgot your history in Neptune.

And if not, it doesn't matter. Logan is your past, it's over. For good.

* * *

Sorry guys for the wait, been busy. I've gone a different way then I thought I would with this story but hopfully you'll still enjoy it. For those who love Logan and Veronica together, don't worry there is hope for them in the near future. Enjoy and don't forget to review.


	11. Enjoying Australia

Ellie leads you out of yet another shop, carrying yet another bag of various items. You've so far only bought one thing and that was a pair of dark blue denim jeans like Ryan's. Ellie has bought two pairs of shoes, a dress, a jacket, cardigan and two tops.

You go into a small boutique, most of the stuff inside the shop is girly and you're not really into girly but you look anyway, as you're looking through a rack of clothing Ellie starts a conversation.

"So, Veronica, what do you think of the boys?"

You remember back to last night when you all got back to the apartment. They were all pretty drunk and loud and Nathan and Daniel couldn't stop singing, they were dancing with you and yelling and Ryan was stumbling towards his room.

"They're pretty full on, but fun to be around."

"Yeah, hard to get used to if you're not used to being around people like them. I mean Nathan is like such a party boy, he's pretty much out every night of the week with a different girl at a different party. He's a big drinker and just between me, you and the boys he does a little drugs."

She picks up a black singlet top and admires it, making faces and studying it.

"Oh and Daniel, he's so sweet but when he's with the boys he can be so infuriating. He tends to get afraid of commitment and throws people away when they get too close. Lucky for me Nathan and Ryan have been there to coach him along."

"So what's the story with Ryan then?" You ask casually.

"Ryan, hmm, Ryan. Well I suppose he's a bit on the outer. He hasn't known the boys for as long as us girls, he's a newie to the bunch. I don't even know how they met or why they became friends because neither Danny nor Nathan have the same interests as Ryan. Ryan is quiet, keeps to himself a lot, goes to bed relatively early during the week but stays up really late during the weekend. There's not much else I can tell you, besides that he's so cute." She giggles and puts the singlet back.

You pick up short grey sweater dress and look at it closely. It's not something you'd usually wear possibly because of the length of it but this is a new beginning, a new Veronica, so why not?

"I think I might try this on." You tell Ellie.

"Go for it, I'll be over here looking at the t-shirts."

You make your way to the change rooms and quickly change into the dress. It looks amazing on you if you don't say so yourself. It shows how thin you are and also makes your legs look ten times longer. If you accessorised it with a black belt just under your chest and a pair of strappy heels you could be a completely different person.

Once you have the dress off again and back on it's hanger you check the price tag for the first time. Yeah, you won't be buying that dress anytime soon.

"What was wrong with it?" Ellie asks with her hands full of t-shirts.

"Nothing."

"Then why aren't you getting it?"

"It's too expensive." You admit shyly.

She looks at the price tag and then smiles.

"It's only $400."

"I don't have a spare $400 like you, Ellie." You laugh.

"Let me foot the bill then. Consider it my 'welcome to Australia' gift."

"You don't have to do that."

"I don't, but I will."

Ellie places her 4 t-shirts and your dress on the counter and pays for it with her credit card. You both walk out of there with smiles on your faces and something new to wear.

---

You get home from shopping with Ellie and find Danny asleep on the sofa, Nathan sitting at the bench reading a magazine and Ryan no where in sight.

"Hey." You say, placing your bags down.

"Hey."

"Where's Ryan?" You ask.

"In his room. Probably jerking off." Nathan answers without looking up from his magazine.

You roll your eyes and knock on Ryan's door twice. He tells you to come in, you find him sitting on his bed with his guitar.

"Hey, how was shopping with Ellie?" He asks.

"Great. I bought new jeans and Ellie bought me a new dress."

"Had fun then?"

"Yep."

He strums on the strings and then places the guitar against the wall and smiles at you.

"Why don't you show me what they look like on you?" He asks.

"Um, okay."

You grab the bags from the front door and go into your room to try on the new jeans first. Once you're done you parade into Ryan's room and do a turn and then walk out, noticing he has a smile on his lips. Next you put your grey sweater dress on and parade into Ryan's room again.

"What do you think?" You say, twirling and stopping in front of him.

"Wow. You look amazing, Veronica." He compliments.

"Thank you." You reply blushing.

"It suits your body, you look…wow."

You blush and as you're about to sit down you hear your phone ring. Logan is the first person that comes to mind and you can bet that's who it'll be. You walk to your bedroom and pick your cell up and shake your head when you see it's Logan. Answer it? No, you can't. You should. But you won't. Or will you? Should you? Why should you?

New beginnings. New you. New life. New friends. Old Logan.

Love of your life Logan.

"Hello?" You say quickly picking up the phone and mentally kicking yourself.

"Veronica! Oh thank god, Veronica. I thought something had happened, I was so worried. Are you okay? You're not hurt are you?"

"I'm fine Logan."

"Good. Great. That's great. I was so worried baby. I don't want anything like what I was thinking to happen to you ever, I don't know what I would do."

"Okay."

"Something wrong?"

You close your bedroom door and sit on your bed sighing.

"There is something wrong isn't there? Who's hurt you? Where are you?"

"Logan." You sigh.

"What?"

"We're over, remember? Over."

"I thought you were angry. We can't be over, Veronica. I love you."

Your lips trembles as you start to cry and let it out.

"It's over. I can't see you anymore, or talk to you. It's hard Logan."

"It's hard because you love me. We're in love, Veronica. The real deal, the love where no matter what you can't stop."

"That's just it." You pause and wonder if you should say what you are planning to say next. You really don't want to hurt Logan as much as you're going to but it's the only way you know how to get him to leave you alone. "I don't love you anymore. It's hard because I care for you Logan, but not like you want me to. That's hard. It's hard to hurt you."

In your mind you can imagine Logan sitting in his hotel room on the sofa, his hand running through his hair and that sad puppy look in his eyes. He's probably hunched over, tears welling up and ready to kick a hole in the wall or punch someone.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

He hangs up suddenly, you throw the closest object to you, which happens to be a shoe.

It hurts. It hurts to know that Logan is probably sitting in his hotel room crying because you broke his heart. It hurts because you know he's going to get drunk tonight and call over some Neptune slut to fuck with no strings attached. It hurts because you still love Logan and he loves you.

"Veronica? Are you okay?" Ryan asks through the door.

You don't reply, you sob and cry and scream into your pillow.

"Veronica? Can I come in?"

"Please, just go away."

"You don't mean that. Come on, Veronica. Let me help."

When you don't give Ryan an answer he opens the door and finds you with your head in a pillow lying on your stomach crying. He sits at the end and places his hand on your back trying to soothe you.

"It's okay. New beginning remember?"

"I c…c…can't." You choke.

"You can."

"Im…impos…possible."

"Let me take you out tonight. We'll talk and get to know each other and forget all about Logan."

"I don't feel like it."

"Please, Veronica? I promise we'll have fun."

"No."

He brushes your hair back and looks at your face buried in the pillow.

"You can wear your new dress."

You pull your head up and look into Ryan's brown eyes. He means well, so you should get up and let him take you out. Plus if you don't go out you'll go crazy laying here thinking of Logan and what he's doing right now.

"Okay."

"Great. I'll let you shower and get all dolled up whilst I get changed."

Ryan leaves your room and you think that maybe this will finally be your new beginning.

---

Ryan and you line up as you wait to enter a club. There's hundreds of people behind you and about a hundred in front of you. Every girl there is dressed in a short skirt of dress with boots and tons of make-up and for once you don't feel out of place.

Someone shoves you and you trip and fall into Ryan, the guy who had shoved you moves in front of you with a girl and they start casually chatting like they hadn't just pushed in front of you and Ryan.

"They just pushed in." You sigh. "Typical."

Ryan taps the guy on the shoulder. "Hey mate, you pushed in front of me and my girl, would you mind stepping back?"

"Nah we didn't, must've been someone else." The guy turns back around and goes back to fondling his girl.

"No, it was you and her. Now if you don't mind, can you step back and resume where you were standing before you pushed in."

"Buddy, it wasn't us."

"Look we can do this the easy way or the hard way. I warn you, the hard way involves you getting your ass kicked."

"You want a go do you? Because I'm ready to kick some skinny bitches ass."

Ryan laughs and punches the guy. His girl squeals and steps back as the two guys punch on in the line. You watch from behind as Ryan beats the shit out of the other guy.

Two security guards turn up and pull the boys apart as they kick and fight.

"Oi, cut it out, cut it out!" The security guards yells.

You stand back as Ryan gets thrown out of the line whilst the other guy gets pushed back in line with a bloody lip and black eye. You run over to Ryan and get down on your knees to tend to him.

"Oh my god, are you okay?"

He laughs and throws his head back. "Yeah fine. Fucking dick. Sorry about getting thrown out of the line, we could go somewhere else if you like?"

"How about somewhere less crowded?" You ask, helping Ryan up even though the people standing behind you can probably see your panties.

Ryan puts his arm around you and directs you down the street. "I have the perfect place." He says.

---

Half an hour later you arrive at a pub, there is no line to get in and no security guards at the door. Ryan opens the door for you and immediately you here live music.

"Where are we?" You ask.

He just smiles and leads you in, the guy standing at the bar gives him a nod as you both walk by.

"This is where my band and I used to play." He says, admiring the band on stage right now.

You see a few people on the floor watching and a few more sort of dancing but the majority of the people are sitting at tables or the bar drinking and talking.

"You were in a band."

"Yeah, we split up after Trav moved to W.A. But we used to play here a lot, there would always be people here, whether they were dancing or singing along or just drinking. It didn't matter, playing on stage in front of people is the best feeling in the world.

"I bet." You reply.

"Actually, there's a photo somewhere here of us…" Ryan looks around the walls and spots the one he's looking for. By the bar there's a framed picture of a band on stage playing music. "That's us. There's me, Trav, Peter and Ollie."

"You're the guitarist I'm guessing?" You say.

"Yeah, the one of the right."

"That's pretty cool."

"Want a drink?" He asks, gesturing for the bartender to come over.

"Yeah, I guess so, beer will do though." You tell him, sitting on the bar stool.

Ryan orders you both a beer and sits beside you. The bartender comes over and places your beers down in front of you and Ryan and starts talking to Ryan.

"Heard from Trav lately?" Ryan asks, taking a swig of his beer.

"Last night actually, mate. He was telling me about some chick he met. Told me to say hey to you and the other guys from him. Says he might come over in a few months for a holiday."

"Maybe we can play a gig here when he comes over. For old times sake."

"Yeah, I got customers, should go. Talk to you later Ry."

"Tell Trav I said hey." Ryan yells out as he raises his beer to his mouth.

You take another gulp of yours.

"That's Trav's older brother, he owns this pub, that's probably why we got so many gigs here."

You smile and continue to drink.

---

At 2 am you and Ryan finally leave the pub and head for home. It's a long time before you actually make it to the apartment and a few minutes before Ryan actually manages to open the door with his key. You both drunkenly enter the apartment and turn on the lights.

"Shhh." You giggle, gesturing to the boys' rooms.

"Nathan's out, Danny's at Ellie's." Ryan says, placing his keys on the bench and collapsing on the sofa.

You make it over to the sofa clumsily and collapse on top of Ryan, your head resting against his chest.

"I had a good time." You tell him, closing your eyes.

"Mmm, me too." He mumbles.

"Thank you." You say, crawling up to his face and kissing him. "For." You kiss him again. "Making me." And again. "Forget."

Ryan's hands fumble to the back of your head where he plays with your hair. He kisses you, holding on to you as you straddle him to get comfortable.

"You're welcome." He manages between a feisty kiss.

His tongue slips into your mouth, his hands move to your back, yours to his chest for balance. You can feel his lip ring as you kiss him and feel your dress ride up.

Your hands go to the hem of his shirt and you pull it up and eventually over his head clumsily and then moving back to kiss him. His mouth tastes like beer but he's so good to kiss.

Ryan's hands venture down to your hips where your dress is no longer as it has risen up around your waist. He pushes your hips down against his and moves you against him. The friction you cause between his hips and yours makes your panties wet and no doubt him a little hard.

You moan into his mouth as you start to feel his erection through his pants and hitting _that_ spot. He captures your moan in his mouth and pulls your dress off of you, breaking the kiss for a second and no more.

He lays there in his black jeans and you on top of him in a white bra and black panties.

"Jeans." He says simply, out of breath as he returns to kiss you.

You don't want to break the contact between both your hips but you want his jeans off, so your hand travels between both of you and sets his belt buckle free and then the button and then the zip. His jeans undone, he swiftly manages to get them off his hips and down to his knees where he kicks the rest off and on to the floor, leaving him in a pair of red boxer briefs.

His pushes his hips into the air to meet yours and then slams your hips down on to his. He groans into your neck as you kiss his ear.

Ryan manages to unclasp your bra and have it on the floor in five seconds flat, leaving your top half bare. You don't care that you're practically naked with a guy you've known for two days. All you care about right now is getting fucked.

You move his hands from your back to your breasts where he tweaks and plays with your nipples, still making friction with your hips, trying desperately to relieve himself and you.

"More." You moan.

"More." He agrees.

He takes the waist band of your black panties and pulls them down and off your feet, throwing them half way across the room. Then he takes his own waist band and pulls then down to his knees where he wriggles to get them off and on the floor. He sits up, leaning against the arm of the sofa, with you still on his lap above his hard cock, ready to go.

"Condom." He says, looking into your beautiful eyes.

"Condom." You nod, looking into his deep brown eyes.

Ryan reaches for his pants and into his wallet where he reveals a foil package. He quickly unveils the condom and wastes no time putting it on himself.

You kiss him once again as he places his hands on your hips softly. He guides you down on to his erection slowly. You both moan into each other's mouths as he feels the inside of your hot, wet cunt and as you feel his big, hard cock inside of you.

You move atop his cock, riding him like you've ridden Logan so many times.

"Veronica." He groans, throwing his head back.

You place your head on his shoulder, feeling the beads of sweat build on his shoulder as you move against each other. Your breasts rub against his chest, your ass against his thighs. Up and down, up and down, a familiar rhythm for you.

Your hands swing around the back of his neck as you hold on to him, his head against yours, smelling the sweetness of your hair.

"Fuck." He moans again, fastening the pace.

Both of you feel your releases coming soon. Your body trembles with delight as you feel that familiar high oncoming. His hands wrap around you quickly, he kisses your neck and then throws his head back, pushing your hips down and holding you there.

"Fuck, Veronica." He groans, his cum filling you.

As it fills you, you feel your climax rumble your body. You bite into his shoulder and try to stifle your moans as you tremble.

"Let go, Veronica." He whispers.

Your head whips up and you look into Ryan's eyes through clouded judgement, being drunk and all.

"Ryan, fuck, Ryan." You moan.

His body goes limp as does yours, your head collapsing against his chest with him still inside you.

"Veronica…Veronica." He gently shoves.

He moves his body down on the couch so he's laying properly and then manoeuvres both your bodies so you're still on top of him with your head on his chest but so he's not inside you. He grabs the blanket that sits at the end of the sofa and pulls it over the both of you. To drunk to get up and put you in your bed and too drunk to dress himself and you. You're already falling into slumber on top of him.

You're going to Enjoy Australia.

* * *

Update, update, update! Yes, I know, so soon but don't you love that? So I decided to add another update because I got alot of reviews already for this and already had this chapter written and thought why not? So here you are, another chapter.

Now in answer to some of your reviews;

vmfan387: It totally wasn't my intention to break them up, seriously but what I had in store certainly wasn't as great as what I have been writing.

Black Dahlia 13: Yes! Hope for Veronica and Logan that's what you all want! Lol. I'm not a total lunatic I have intentions of bringing L and V back together some time in he near future but yes, Ryan! My original character who I've decided will play a big part in the next few chapters. So look out for him.

LoVefan4ever: Keep up the hope! L and V will be together soon.


	12. Waking Up Awkward

Male voices are the first thing you hear when you awake

Male voices are the first thing you hear when you awake. Nathan and Danny to be exact. You hear them laughing as the lock to the door clicks open. You hear them chatting about their events last night as the door shuts. Then you hear Nathan.

"Oh my fucking God!" He exclaims.

You have a huge hangover and really don't feel like opening your eyes to the blinding light.

Danny starts laughing hysterically and so does Nathan and then you realise what they're laughing at.

Ryan and you.

You and Ryan.

Naked.

Ryan stirs beneath you, you try to keep still and keep your eyes shut, you'd rather he wake, get up and pretend this never happened then the awkward waking up with you staring at him.

"Shut the fuck up." Ryan tiredly says.

"Man, Veronica is naked on top of you, you're naked beneath her. What the hell went on here last night?" Danny asks, still laughing.

It's the first time Ryan registers what happened and you feel him as he jolts up with you on top of him. He sits up straight, his back against the arm of the sofa and you straddling him, naked.

"Morning." You say awkwardly.

"Morning?" He replies.

You feel the cold air of the apartment across your naked chest and blush when you notice the boys staring at you.

"I might go take a shower and um, get dressed." You tell him, ripping the blanket off Ryan and wrapping it around you.

The boys start laughing again as Ryan shyly puts his boxers back on.

Awkward much?

--

When you get out of the shower, fresh feeling and dressed you walk into your room to find Ryan lying on your bed in his boxers.

"Hey." He says, sitting up.

"Hey."

"About last night…"

"Yeah, I really don't remember much." Liar, liar.

Ryan laughs and pushes his fringe away from his brown eyes. God he's hot. Just looking at him makes you want to jump him.

"So it never happened then?" He says, getting up.

"Never." You half smile as he brushes past you and goes to open the door.

"Wait, Ryan!" You say stupidly like in some dramatic movie where the girl is about to lose the love of their life. "I lied. I do remember _it_."

Ryan lets the door knob go and turns around, smirking. His tongue darts out to feel his lip ring you almost faint. That tongue, god that tongue. You never got to experience it inside you, tasting you, tempting you. Pushing you over the edge.

"Me too."

He sits at the end of your bed whilst you stand. He admires your choice of clothing, the new pair of skinny leg jeans you bought and a dark coloured singlet.

"We were drunk?" You laugh, trying to find an admirable excuse.

"We were, but not that drunk, Veronica."

"I know."

You finally sit beside him, placing your wet towel on the edge of a chair and shaking out your wet hair. Your chest heaves up and down nervously as you wait for Ryan to say something. To say anything. It's Logan all over again. Just different.

He licks his lips, like he does every so often, wetting them and teasing you just a little.

"It was good though right?" He says quite embarrassed.

You laugh and shove him slightly. "Good, no. Not good Ryan." His face turns pale and he looks a little upset. "Great maybe, amazing even. Awesome, fantastic, wonderful." You name all these adjectives.

"Really? Because I've really only ever had sex with girlfriends and never like just a friend or something." He says.

"You should do it more often." You smirk.

His hand finds its way to your thigh but sort of in a friendly way, sort of a thank you. He nods awkwardly.

"You were great too."

"I've had experience." You tell him jokingly.

Your wet fringe falls in front of your eyes, but you're not the one to remove it. Before you have the chance Ryan's hands reach out and he gently pushes the blonde strands of hair from your eyes and face and kisses your temple.

"Last night…Veronica, I've never…felt so, so…so great. Thank you." He whispers in your ear.

"No, thank you." You whisper back, breathing in his amazing scent.

He gets up. You wish he'd sit back down and kiss you. Kiss you like he did last night. Kiss you every where he's touched, every where he's been. You wish he'd kiss you with passion and fever and lust and love and urgency. All those things and more. But he doesn't. He smiles and walks out the door. Walks out of your room.

--

After you've had dinner in an awkward silence between you and the boys you jump on your laptop and get online. To your surprise considering it's quite early in America, Logan is online.

**VeronicaMars03 says: **Hey Logan.

**Echolls02 says:** What do you want?

**VeronicaMars03 says:** Sorry? Did I do something wrong?

**Echolls02 says: **Do something wrong? No Veronica, unless you consider breaking my heart and leaving without saying goodbye doing something wrong.

**VeronicaMars03 says: **I'm really sorry. You know that. I never meant for any of this to happen. I never meant to leave you, or leave Neptune. But I did and its really for the best Logan.

Ryan sits beside you on the sofa and changes the channel.

"What are you doing?" He asks, trying to get some normality into his and your relationship.

"Logan's online. We're talking." You sadly reply.

**Echolls02 says: **Sorry doesn't mean anything Veronica. You were the last person on Earth I'd ever think would walk away from me. The last person I ever trusted and truly loved.

**VeronicaMars03 says: **Please don't do this. Don't put this on me Logan. You were the one who tried to kill Duncan and Dick remember? You were the one who proposed to me.

**Echolls02 says: **Because I fucking love you!

**VeronicaMars03 says: **I shouldn't have even come online. This was a mistake, go to bed Logan it's too early over there to be up.

**Echolls02 says: **I haven't slept since you left Veronica. I fucking miss you. I've cried and cried and tried to move on. I fucking couldn't even have sex. Every time I started to get close to having someone in my bed I'd lose it and cry. That's what you do to me, Veronica Mars. You fucking kill me inside.

Tears well up in your eyes.

**VeronicaMars03 says: **Don't do this. Don't pretend like I'm not hurting too.

**Echolls02 says: **You aren't or you'd come home. You'd come back to me.

**VeronicaMars03 says: **We'd never work out Logan. We're too epic. Too much drama.

**Echolls02 says: **Either that or you'd be the slut you truly are and cheat on me.

You read that sentence four times over. Four times. It hits you like a bus. Slut. Slut. Slut. Slut. Slut. Slut.

Veronica Mars the slut.

**VeronicaMars03 says: **Thanks.

**Veronica Mars03 is now offline.**

In a fit of rage you get up and drop your laptop and run to your room. You can hear the boys exchange whispers of 'What the fuck?' as you slam your door but it's only Ryan who knocks on your door asking what's wrong.

"Go away!" You yell, sobbing already.

Slut. Slut. Slut. Big fat slut.

"Veronica, let's talk about this."

"No! I'll probably try to screw you again being the slut I am!"

"Is that what he said? He called you a slut?"

You open the door and throw your arms around him, crying into his shoulder.

"Yes." You hiccup and sob.

Ryan closes the door behind him and sits you on the bed, kneeling in front of you and lifting your chin up.

"You're not a slut, Veronica. Far from it."

"I am. Look at me. I've been here for a few days and I've already managed to fuck someone."

"That's different." He tells you, hugging you.

"How!?" You yell angrily.

"Because I like you. You like me. We like each other." He says, kissing your forehead.

"That doesn't make a difference." You tell him, wishing he'd just go away.

"Yes, it does. You're not a slut, Veronica. Just because you happen to had, had sex with me a few days into moving here does not make you a slut."

"He's right, Ryan." You reply sadly, tears falling from your eyes. "I've become Lilly. I hated that part of Lilly. Always cheating on Logan and hurting him."

"Don't cry, please." He says wiping your tears away.

"I should call him. Apologize. I never mean to make him hurt, I never meant to make him cry."

"You don't have to call him. He's a big boy, Veronica. He can grow up and learn to live without you, you don't have to try and fix this."

You look at Ryan and wonder why he's telling you this. He should be encouraging you to talk to Logan, to even get back with him not grow apart and forget about him.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I care Veronica. I know what someone like Logan can do to a person and I don't want to ever see you like that."

"Thank you, Ryan but I think I need to do this. I need to say goodbye properly."

He sighs and you almost forget about the phone call so you can just hug Ryan and never let go. Never ever, ever.

"I'll be in my room if you want to talk afterwards, or if you just want to cuddle or sit there. I'm here for you."

As he walks out you realise how different he is to Logan. Logan and you, you and Logan, you were never like this with him. You couldn't be right? It was so hard to trust Logan and open up to him, but with Ryan it's so natural that you've told him your life story in the short amount of days you've known him. Logan doesn't even know your life story.

Slowly you flick through your address book on your phone to find _his_ name. Logan fucking Echolls. When you find it you are hesitant to press the call button. Say goodbye and let go? Or don't say goodbye and let it fester inside you.

The call starts to connect.

Thump, thump, thump. Your heart goes faster and harder.

"Veronica, what do you want?" Logan answer. Damn caller ID.

"Please don't hang up Logan. Please."

"Why not?"

"We need to talk. I don't want to argue and fight and piss each other off, I want to really talk. I don't care how long it takes or how much this is going to cost me, even if I'm low on cash. We _need_ to do this."

Logan sighs and you imagine him sitting in his hotel room alone in the dark.

"Let me call you back. I can afford this."

"Thanks."

As you both hang up you plan what to say in your head. What to say, what to say?

"Hey." You answer.

"Hi."

"First off, Logan let's try not to fight please. I'm doing this for the both of us."

"Okay."

"Fine. Okay. I want to tell you that I'm sorry for hurting you Logan and I know it was stupid of me to just run away like that and I should have spoken to you first but I was afraid and upset and I just couldn't deal anymore. I'm sorry for that."

You hear Logan take a swig of something. Probably beer. Most likely beer.

"Do you know why it hurt me, Veronica? Why it hurts so much that you're doing this?"

"I have a good idea but do tell."

"Because after all we've been through together, Lilly, Duncan, Dick, your dad, everything Veronica, you still push me away when we get serious. I love you and it's never going to change but I'm starting to feel like this is Lilly all over again. The way she treated me was horrible, always cheating and lying-"

"I never cheated on you, Logan. Never."

"Even so, you lied about Duncan and Dick, you couldn't tell me about your dad. It's Lilly. I loved her so much and I knew a part of me just knew she didn't love me like I wanted her too but I still loved her and took care of her. Please tell me that's not what we were. That you loved me just as much as I did you."

"I loved you Logan, just as much and more than you did me."

"Okay." He says, letting you speak.

"But I can't be with you anymore. It hurts every time you screw up, knowing that you'll never change, Logan. I love that about you, that you don't care what people think, that you'll never change but the type of person you are Logan, we're not meant to be together. And I'm sorry for that because inside me I know that I love you so much…" You pause to cry a little. "…so much, so, so, so much."

"I'm sorry about calling you a slut." He says.

"That hurt the most. Especially knowing that you know how many guys I've slept with and you still think of me like this?"

"I don't. I was angry and I needed to say something that would hurt you. It was the first word I could think of."

"Well it hurt. But I have to tell you something but I don't want you to get angry or upset."

You know he's already guessed what you're going to say. This only makes it harder for you.

"I slept with one of my roommates last night."

"I figured." He spits out.

"I was drunk." You say before you realise. "No, that's no excuse. I was drunk, but not that far gone. It wasn't a mistake but it wasn't intentional either. I mean I like Ryan, just like him. Maybe I'll never love him, not as much as I do you but he's different, not you, not us. He's everything you're not I suppose, in a good way and a bad way. He's Australian to start with, he was in a band too with a couple of other guys from Melbourne, we visited the pub he used to play at. But he's not as witty as you and probably not as rich but he's different and I think that's what I need."

"You don't know how much this is killing me. I'm not able to have sex with any woman because I love you so much but you're already practically in a relationship with another guy."

"I know. I'm sorry. Really, sorry."

"I guess this is it then? The end, the final epic story of Veronica Mars and Logan Echolls." He jokes but you know he's upset.

"I guess so."

"I'll always love you Veronica Mars no matter how far away you are. Always."

"I know. I'll always love you somewhere in my heart too Logan Echolls. I'm happy we did this."

"Yeah."

"Goodbye, Logan."

"Goodbye, Veronica."

The line goes dead and you wonder for a split second what the hell you're doing? Logan loves you, he loves you more than any other human being could love anyone and you're letting him go. He can take care of you and give you things no one else can. He can protect you from danger and keep you safe.

But you and he are too epic, remember?

You leave your room and don't realise how long you've been on the phone for. The apartment is dark and cold and silent as you walk across the hallway to Ryan's room. There's no light on and you presume he is asleep. Really you shouldn't go inside, you should go back to your own bed instead of waking up Ryan but you don't want to sleep alone and be alone with your thoughts.

So you go inside.

The door creaks as you open it and Ryan's eyes open slowly. He knows it's you immediately and pulls back the covers as you close the door to his room. You creep over and only then realise that you've not changed into any pyjamas or anything, so you stand at the end of his bed and take your top off and then your jeans. He gets up and goes to his draws and offers you one of his t-shirts.

You politely take the t-shirt from him as he stands behind you. Ryan kisses your neck softly and pushes your hair to the side as his hands fiddle to unclasp your bra. You feel his lips on your shoulders and neck and his hands finally unclasp the bra. It falls to the floor and reveals your breasts but Ryan doesn't attempt to touch them or anything, he pulls the t-shirt over your head and kisses your forehead.

"Thanks." You whisper as he pulls you over to the bed.

It's not long before you and he are in bed together. Your back faces him and he holds you from behind, keeping you warm and soothing you. Ryan pulls the blankets over yours and his body and kisses your cheek.

"Goodnight." He whispers.

But you're almost asleep and don't reply.

Goodbye forever dear Logan. It's been a long epic road and we've finally come to an end but all in all I'm glad we were together even if it wasn't the best. I'll never forget you.

But Logan won't let you, will he? Oh, Veronica, little sweet innocent Veronica. We're sorry to inform you but this isn't your happy ending just yet. Logan Echolls will be making an appearance sooner than you think, so don't get too comfortable in your new found roll as the lover of a guy in a band.

Sorry everyone for the super long wait! I've been in hospital. Funny story really. I used to have ferrets and I was attacked by one a few weeks ago and well the bites got infected and I ended up in hospital. Anyway so I haven't been able to use both hands to type for awhile. On top of all that I've missed heaps of school and just been trying to catch up. So anyway here's the update, expect another soon. Don't forget to review too!


	13. Waking Up Surprised

You wake up in Ryan's bed but he is not with you

You wake up in Ryan's bed but he is not with you. His side is cold so you presume he's been long gone. There's a note on his pillow that you pick up and begin to read.

'Good morning. I've gone out for a few hours for some food and shit, I'll be back soon. Ryan.'

There's no 'Love Ryan' or 'All my love' or even a few x's and o's at the end to show he loves you but then again do you really expect it? You've only just got together with Ryan and it's not like it was when you were with Logan. It was a thing you and Logan had, you had always loved each other it wasn't this new found thing or anything. Maybe you're just not used to not hearing it.

You get up and walk into the kitchen wearing Ryan's t-shirt. Both the boys are on the couch playing the Xbox 360 but both boys turn to you as soon as you enter the room.

"Morning, Veronica. Sleep well?" Nathan smirks.

"Um…"

"I mean, Ry didn't wake you when he got up did he?" Danny smiles.

"Okay, what is going on here?" You ask, sitting in between the boys.

"We know about you and Ryan. The sex, the connection. Oh and we now about Logan…like everything. Ry told us."

You should be angry about Ryan telling them but for some reason you're not. It's not like you don't trust these guys. They're probably the most trustworthy people you know.

"I see."

"We don't really care. As long as Ryan is happy. After what happened wi-" But Nathan is cut off immediately by Danny.

"With?" You ask giving a fake smile.

"With his last girlfriend. Man she was a big slut. Like total. Cheated on him all the time. Big bitch too." Danny says faster than you could imagine.

Not all that surprising but you don't believe Danny because just something about it doesn't add up. But you decide to forget about it anyway. You're in Australia, a new you, a new Veronica and you're not going to dig into Ryan's past, if he wants to tell you something than he will tell you in his own time.

You grab Danny's Xbox control and start playing, just to forget about what the boys said.

--

Ryan sits across from you at a table in a restaurant. It's this little quiet restaurant in Melbourne that is quite possibly the cutest place you've ever seen. You pick at your food, you're hungry but just that thing about Ryan that Nathan almost told you was eating at you inside but you're not going to pry. No you won't.

"What's wrong babe?" Ryan asks as he shovels a large part of his salad in his mouth.

"Nothing, it's just…well…I don't know really."

"Are you not hungry? Because we can leave."

"No, no. This is nice. I like it here. I've just got some things on my mind."

"You can tell me." He says, grabbing your hand from over the table.

You smile genuinely because as nice and caring Logan was you couldn't do this with Logan. There was always something that would come up and would break between you and a nice quiet dinner would end up into a full on bitch fight almost all the time. This was nice, just having dinner with your boyfriend and not arguing about everything and anything that came up over the table.

"It doesn't matter. Nothing really. Do you want to go catch a movie or something?" You say trying to divert the attention.

"Sure." Ryan replies, asking a waitress for the check.

--

You and Ryan get home late, you're ever so careful not to wake Nathan and Danny who are presumably asleep. But your plan fails when your cell rings loudly in the house. Ryan laughs and turns the lights on, giving up on trying to be quiet. You answer your cell.

"Hello?"

"Hey Veronica, it's Wallace!" Wallace calls from the other end of the phone.

"Wallace! Oh my god."

"How are you?" He asks as you sit on the couch in Ryan's arms.

"Fantastic. Really great. How are you?"

"Good, all good. How come you're so great these days?"

"Oh maybe I'll give you my secret one day." You tell Wallace smiling at Ryan and kissing him softly.

"So where are you staying? Not in a hotel right?"

"Yeah, like I have enough money for that." You laugh. "I'm actually staying with some new friends in Melbourne. They offered me a room for low cost so yeah."

"Oh cool. Where about in Melbourne?" Wallace asks like he has an ulterior motive.

"Why?" You ask suspiciously.

Wallace pauses and you think maybe he's up to something. "Oh, uh I have cousins in Melbourne."

"Oh, I'm staying like pretty much central Melbourne. With guys called Daniel Smith, Nathan Alcove and Ryan Harley." You tell Wallace in confidence.

"Oh cool. I don't know them but they sound alright. Hey look, V, I got to go. Talk to you soon. Bye." Wallace says before hanging up.

You think it's weird that he called you and that's all he wanted to know but somehow it doesn't fester inside you. You have not a care in the world right now. You have a great boyfriend, great friends and for once in your usually hectic life there is no drama at all. No mysterious deaths or rapes or fights or anything. Nothing.

--

With your back to Ryan and his arms around you, you awake in your bed early morning, smiling. You hear Ryan's steady breathing, he's still asleep so you decide to wake him up. Your hand travels down his side and behind you as you reach down onto his naked body and grab his dick. He groans but he's not awake yet.

"Ryan." You whisper.

He doesn't wake still so you start stroking him slowly, he stiffens in your hand and starts to moan.

"Veronica, what the hell?" He says, finally waking.

"I wanted to wake you up." You smile, turning around to kiss him.

"You achieved your life goal, now can I go back to sleep, it's like…" He pauses to look at his watch. "…7.00am."

You shake your head and roll over on top of him. He's fully awake now, his erection rubbing against your thigh. He smiles at you as his hands travel up your waist to your bare breast. You softly groan when he starts kneading them in his hands.

"Morning sex. Nothing better." He tells you.

"Agreed." You reply, grabbing a condom from the top of your bed side table and opening the packet up.

He slips the condom on right before he slips inside you. You moan out in pleasure as that now familiar feeling of Ryan's cock inside you hits you. He thrusts up into you, your hips clash with his own.

And then you're interrupted.

"Knock, knock guys." Someone says at the door, but they don't open it, they know better.

"What?" Ryan manages without sounding like he's inside of you.

"Veronica, you have a visitor."

"Tell them to come back later." You giggle.

"Um, I think you want to come out here, Veronica." Danny says.

Ryan thrusts up harder into you.

"Danny, go away I'm having sex with my boyfriend and unless you want to hear us do it then I suggest you leave us alone." You sternly tell him.

"Okay, that's way too much information thanks but you need to come out here. You have a visitor."

"Who the fuck is it?" Ryan asks, rolling you over.

"Logan Echolls." Danny says.

Your heart stops for those few seconds. Logan Echolls. Your eyes widen and you feel something in your stomach turn and twist and make you feel all yuck inside. Quickly, you get off Danny and put on your panties, a shirt and a pair of jeans. Ryan looks at you and grudgingly follows your lead and quickly gets dressed.

As much as you try, your hair won't flatten and it literally looks like you've just been having sex. Which you have but you'd rather Logan didn't know that.

Ryan opens the bedroom door for you and steps out, you follow him into the lounge room where Logan is standing. He looks every bit as gorgeous as he was when you left him and a large part of you regrets leaving and regrets ever thinking you didn't want to be with him.

"Hey Ronnie." He says sarcastically.

"Hey." You smile half heartedly feeling nervous under his intense stare.

"You gonna introduce me to your friends or am I just going to have to guess which one you're fucking." He pauses to look at your expression. "Or are you fucking them all?" He says afterwards and you see Ryan's fists clench.

"Hey, mate look if you're going to be saying that stuff to Veronica you're going to have to leave."

You give a 'thank you' look to Nathan.

"Logan what are you doing here? How did you know where I was anyway?"

"I came here to get you back, Veronica. Wallace told me where you were."

"Wallace?" You laugh. "I knew he was up to something."

Logan lightly smiles but the room still feels awkward.

"This is Ryan, my boyfriend." You tell Logan, introducing him. "And this is Nathan and Danny." You say. "Ryan, Nathan and Danny this is the infamous Logan Echolls."

Logan nods at each of them but you know he just wants to kill Ryan.

"We need to talk, Veronica." He says, gesturing for you to follow him outside.

"Sure." You say, letting go of Ryan's hand that somehow found it's way to your own.

Logan follows you out the door, shutting it behind him as you both stand in the hallway of the apartment complex.

"Logan, we talked about this. I'm finished with us." You say.

"I'm not. I love you Veronica." He says grabbing your hand, it breaks your heart in thousands of ways and makes you want to kiss him. "Don't you love me, V?"

"I do Logan, I really do but-"

"But what? There's no but. We love each other and that's all that should matter. We're meant to be Veronica. I want to be there for you forever and ever and ever. I want to take care of you and be your husband and have children with you, Veronica. Why the fuck do you think I flew out here? I miss having you around."

"Logan, please don't do this."

"I'm not the only one. Wallace misses you and so does Weevil. Hell, I even spoke to Dick the other day and he told me he missed you and that he was sorry about everything."

"I'm not coming back."

"Then I'm not leaving."

"You have to." You laugh, letting his hand go and turning away.

"No I don't. I'll fucking buy a house. But you can be sure of one thing, Veronica. If you don't come back with me, I'll be here every day for the next 100 years with flowers and chocolates and gifts, trying to win you back."

"I'm not a prize to be won Logan."

"Whatever. I just want you back in my life."

"What don't you understand!?" You yell, suddenly feeling all emotional. "I don't want to be with you! I'm over us and what we were. I'm with Ryan and if you can't get that through your head then go and jump off a bridge Logan."

Immediately you gasp at your own harsh words. You see the glassiness of Logan's eyes and how upset he is. In fact you can almost feel his heart breaking his pain. Oh god, what have you done?

He bites his lip, trying to stop it from trembling. But it won't stop, it just won't. He wants to cry and scream and hit you for being such a bitch but he won't because he loves you, and you had to be such a bitch.

"Fine. See you in the next life." He shoves a gift box at you and walks off quickly. You exhale and take deep breaths. You're not going to open the box. Not ever.

--

Ryan sits at the end of your bed. You haven't said much since your talk with Logan and when Ryan tried to kiss you, you pulled away which is what lead to him sitting at the end of your bed and you standing by the door.

"Veronica, I'm trying to understand. I really am. I'm trying to understand why you just can't let it go and let him go?"

You sigh. Why? Why Veronica. Why?

"He meant a lot to me once. He was my first ever love." You smile. "We used to hate each other you know? I wanted to kill him mostly. He'd make sexual jokes about me because I was sweet innocent Veronica who'd only ever been kissed. He'd smirk at me and try to catch my attention, I was never interested until Lilly died. Maybe that's why I can't let him go. Because apart of him contains a part of Lilly and I can never let Lilly go."

Ryan puts his head in his hands.

"Then we can't be together. If you can't let him go, then we can't do this. I can't even begin to love you if you're in love with someone else. It's not fair Veronica."

You're suddenly all defensive.

"Oh. Well how come I'm the only one who puts their whole self in this relationship? I've told you everything about me Ryan and what do I know of you? Nothing, that's what."

He gets up and walks to you.

"It's a painful thing to talk about, and I'd rather not."

"You don't think Logan was? He was the fucking love of my life, Ryan and I had to give him up because he tried to kill two of my friends!"

"I can't help that!" He yells.

"No you can't but you still won't tell me anything."

"You really want to know about me, Veronica? You really want to know why I'm so fucking fucked up?"

"Yes." You reply, feeling confident.

"Fine! Here it is. I was married two years ago. I loved my wife more than fucking anything. We even had a kid. Then last year my daughter Olivia was murdered by some fucking psychotic bastard and my wife accused me of killing our daughter! You happy now!? You happy that you know all that shit about me!" He yells at you.

"N…no." You stutter.

"Good! Fucking good because I hope to fucking god that you feel fucking guilty about asking me." He says walking out on you.

--

You stumble in the door after having been to a bar. Your vision is fairly blurred and your speech less than perfect. The lights are off in the apartment as it's quite late but you can hear a girl giggling. You follow the noise.

"Stop it." The girl's voice giggles.

As you get closer you hear a moan and then laughing. It's coming from Ryan's room.

"Ryan…stop it."

Angrily you burst in the door, standing at the door way in shock at the picture in front of you. In front of you Ryan lies above a girl who is very much naked beneath him. She's covered in love bites and there's a used condom on the floor by the bed.

"Oh god." You say.

"Veronica." Ryan says.

"Veronica?" The girl asks, sitting up.

"Veronica." You reply, eyes wide.

"Wait, who's Veronica?" The girl asks in a stupid girly voice.

"I'm Veronica." You tell her trying not to cry, trying not to hurt.

"Well sorry, Veronica but um Ryan's taken for the night kay babe?" She says to you like you meant nothing.

"I can see that." You spit. "Have fun."

"Baby wait!" Ryan calls after you as you turn away.

Ryan runs out into the lounge room where you're quickly slipping on shoes.

"Baby, I'm sorry. She means nothing, I was just so angry."

"You should have thought about that before."

"We weren't technically together, Veronica. Can't you forgive me?"

"Please, can you be anymore idiotic? Go fuck your slut Ryan."

You slam the door as you leave finally crying as you reach the stairs. Tears poor down your once too happy face, blurring your already blurred vision more and making your face hot. You stumble down steps in a hurry, trying your best not to fall.

When you make it outside the cool air is a shock to your hot face. It burns a little but you keep moving. Where you're going, you have no clue but you're just going. You have to go. You have to get out of here.

Your cell rings, you fumble for it in your bag. Logan's caller ID comes up and you're actually glad it's him.

"Logan." You answer.

"Veronica!" He yells. "Veronica, Veronica, Ver-on-ic-a. How you doing baby? Fucking Ronald…no wait that's not right…R…R…"

"Ryan." You say.

"YES! Fucking him are you?"

"No. Logan I need to see you. Can we talk somewhere?"

"No, no, no. Too late Ronnie." He calls out drunkenly. "Too, too late."

"What do you mean too late Logan?" You ask in a panic.

"Veronica said she didn't want Logan anymore, so Logan got drunk. He is wasted! Then, then, get this, he…" Logan starts laughing. "…he rented a room at a hotel and well it has a balcony and it's nice out here standing on the rail. Logan wants to jump, maybe he will. Maybe Logan wants to kill him self because Veronica doesn't want him anymore."

"Logan no!" You scream out.

"Logan yes!" He yells.

"Please, Logan, where are you I'll come to your hotel room."

Logan laughs and tells you where he is and then says that it doesn't matter because by the time you get there he'll be gone. He'll be dead.

"Don't move Logan. Please don't move."

You rush to the streets, stumbling over your feet. Finally you manage to catch a taxi's attention and direct it to Logan's hotel. But will it get there fast enough? You want it to speed, go faster, drive harder. But it won't will it? You'll always be too late for him won't you?

Please don't jump Logan. Please don't jump.

* * *

Here's another update for all you lovely people out there, especially my reviewers. It's suspense ridden and you'll have to wait till the next update to know what happens. But please do review, it may getyour update a little faster.


	14. Logan, I Need You

The taxi eventually pulls up outside Logan's hotel, you throw money in the driver's general direction and rush out the door. You arrive at the concierge desk and ding the bell for service. No one comes so you ding it again and again and again until finally someone with a sour expression on the face addresses you.

"May I help you?" The woman asks in a tone you don't like but you'll deal.

"Logan Echolls. I need his room key."

"Sorry but we don't give out clients room keys to just anyone and he hasn't requested for anyone to be given a room key."

"You don't get it. He called me a few minutes ago, he's drunk and angry and depressed and ready to jump off the balcony. I need his room key."

"Sorry Ma'am but we can't give you the room key. I can though ring through to his room for you."

"Listen!" You tell. "The love of my life is very drunk and very capable of killing himself right and I want the fucking room key because if he jumps off that balcony before I get up there I will not only see to it that you are fired and never work again but I will fucking kill you myself!"

You hear a crash, like breaking glass and a gasp from people standing by who've obviously taken notice to Logan.

"Right this way." The woman says, moving from behind the desk and walking briskly to the elevator.

The elevator takes so long for it to arrive, or maybe time has slowed. You're not sure but you don't care. It's taking too long.

"The stairs." You say, heading to the door with the stairs and quickly climbing each as if your life depended on it. A life depends on it, just not yours.

The woman follows you and as you finally reach Logan's penthouse suite you bang on the door loudly.

"LOGAN!? Answer the door Logan!"

The woman pushes you aside and knocks. "Mr Echolls sir? Are you alright in there?" When she's met with no answer she pulls out the master key card. "I'm coming in sir." She swipes her card and the door unlocks.

You push past the woman and stop and stare when you see Logan balancing on the rail of the balcony like a little kid. He has a drink in hand, sipping from it.

"Mr Echolls, could you come down from there?"

"No." He says like a kid, continuing his balancing act.

"Logan, hey, it's Veronica. It's me baby."

He turns back quickly, stumbling and almost losing his balance. You gasp, your heart beats that little faster, your palms grow that little sweatier and your hands shake that little more.

"Veronica. Ronnie."

"Come down from there please? I want to talk. We can talk. Please Logan. You don't want to do this."

"No. I want to do this. I want to end my fucking life! Who do I have anymore? My family is dead, you left me, I have no one! Fucking no one!" He yells.

"Logan!" You cry out as his foot slides, luckily he manages to gain his footing again.

Tears stream down your face and you see the sympathy apparent on his face but is it ever enough?

"I'm sorry. So sorry Logan. I love you. I need you in my life. I don't have anyone either anymore Logan. My dad, my mom, Duncan, they've all gone. Please Logan. Don't do this. You don't want to hurt me like this."

His eyes soften for the first time since you've been there, he nods as a tear escapes his beautiful eyes.

"I'm sorry, V. I've been such an-" His sentence is cut off when both his feet slide from the railing and he slips.

Your world moves in slow motion, you see every part of him falling in slow motion, every step, every move, everything. Your heart races, feeling as if you're having a heart attack.

"Logan!" You finally scream, hearing the people from the ground gasp and scream.

His hands grip the bar, straining every muscle in his arms.

"No, no, no!" You scream and run over to him.

"Veronica, I love you." He says as his hands slip and he lets go but you grab both his hands, saving him from the fall. His body is so heavy, a lot heavier than yours and you're not able to pull him up.

"Logan I'm not letting go. I won't let go. I have you." You cry.

"Veronica, I'm going to…" He groans. "Pull you with me if you don't let go baby. Let go. Please, Veronica. Better me then both of us."

"No." You cry selfishly.

"Veronica." He says.

"I will not let you go. I love you Logan. I'm not losing you again."

"I love you Veronica but you have to let go."

His eyes are so sad and he finally looks not so angry at you. You have to let go because you're slowly going over the edge as well. Your fingers let go of his hands and you watch horrifyingly as Logan falls. You gasp and scream and cry, turning your head as he yells.

"Logan." You mumble, your head in your hands.

You finally hear that thud and look over the edge, but to your surprise he's not on the ground, he's fallen, just two floors though, falling onto the balcony of another person.

Please don't be dead Logan. Please don't be dead.

You hurry down the flight of stairs to the room and bang aggressively on the door, it's opened by an older man, he pulls you in quickly. You see the older man's wife with Logan, tending to him. The older man dials an ambulance quickly as you sit by Logan's body.

"Logan." The older lady pulls you into a hug.

Is he even breathing? Is his heart beating? Why isn't he moving, why isn't he talking?

--

The ambulance pulls up at emergency at the hospital, they rush out and pull Logan from the ambulance, you follow suit but as you get in the doors and start to follow them you're told not to go. You're told you can't go further.

"Sorry Ma'am but you can't go past this point, you'll have to go wait in the waiting room."

"That's my boyfriend! My boyfriend." You cry.

"Miss, can you go wait in the waiting room please."

"No! I will not wait in the waiting room!"

"I'm sorry Ma'am but if you don't go wait in the waiting room I will have security kick you out."

You storm off in the direction of the emergency waiting room. There's probably 20 or so people already sitting down there. You take a seat at the back in a corner. You don't want people seeing you like this. Seeing you crying and vulnerable.

A little boy approaches you, he has a toy truck in his hands.

"Don't cry lady. My mommy said crying makes God sad." The little boy tells you but you can't even fake a smile for him.

"You should go back to your mommy then."

"Why are you crying? Did your toy break?" He asks sitting beside you on the chair.

You sort of laugh. "No."

"Then why?"

"My boyfriend is really hurt."

"Did he fall off his bike?"

"No. He…he just fell and hurt himself."

A woman comes over to you and the boy and smiles at you.

"I am so sorry about this. James has got to learn not to bother people. Come James."

James fights to stay. "Mommy this lady says her boyfriend is hurt. He fell and hurt himself."

"I'm sorry to hear that." The woman sincerely says.

"Thank you."

"Now come on James."

"But mommy! This lady is crying and I trying to make her feel better."

"You could make the nice lady feel better by leaving her alone." The woman sternly says to her son.

James looks at you with sad little eyes as he's carried away by his mom.

--

You're awaken by a gently shove, your eyes shoot open hoping Logan's suicide attempt was a nightmare but you realise it's not when you wake to see a surgeon standing in front of you.

"Are you Veronica Mars, the girl who came in with Mr Echolls?"

"Yes."

He sits down and looks at you sympathetically. Oh god. This can't be happening.

"Logan just came out of surgery, he has some spinal damage that we've just gone in and tried to correct it and with hope he'll recover and be able to walk after some therapy. But that wasn't all, he also suffered some internal injuries, he was bleeding inside his skull and we have tried to fix as much as possible right now but we don't know how well it went until he wakes up but in saying that there's a high chance Logan may never wake up. He's done some real damage to himself, with major injuries like I've said and a few broken ribs and a broken arm."

"So you're saying…you're saying that Logan may never talk…or walk or even be able to see me again?"

"Well if he wakes up then there's a high possibility that he'll walk and talk and see but we can't guarantee he'll wake up."

"May I see him?" You ask feeling those tears heating your eyes.

"Certainly, I'll have a nurse take you down to intensive care in a moment."

The surgeon walks off, you pull out your cell from your bag and dial Ryan's number.

You get his voicemail.

"Hi, you've called Ryan, I'm unable to reach my phone at the moment but leave a message and I'll try and get back to you."

"Ryan it's Veronica, tell Danny and Nathan not to worry about me. I'm sorry for not calling early and telling you where I am but I'm at the hospital. Logan tried to kill himself last night and he's undergone surgery…" You choke out the words. "…and…and he's in a really bad condition. So if you need me I'm at the hospital, I probably won't have my phone on but you know where I am. Bye."

--

Your hand rests on Logan's. His breathing is steady and you suppose that's a good sign…or you think it is. His body is so limp and lifeless it makes you fearful of him. His skull is wrapped in a bandage, covering the incision made to fix it. You wonder if you'll ever get to see Logan's wonderful eyes again.

Your fingers stroke his hand softly, the callous hands you remember touching you in intimate places now feel cold. You wish you could take him away from all of this and make him wake up. You'd give anything to turn back time and make sure this didn't happen. You'd give _anything_.

"Veronica?" Ryan's voice travels to your ears.

Your head whips around quickly and your eyes soften on the second man to steal your heart. He smiles softly, you get up and wrap your arms around him. He embraces you wholly, caressing your hair adoringly and whispering to you that Logan will be okay, he will pull through.

"I'm so sorry." You sob into his jacket.

"Don't be. You've nothing to be sorry about. Let's just worry about Logan now who's sorry later, okay?" He says.

"Okay."

"Have you eaten?"

"No."

"Why don't you go to the canteen and get something to eat and I'll stay here with Logan?"

"I can't leave him Ry, what if he wakes up and I'm not here?"

He smiles like the perfect person he is and makes you sit down. "I'll go get you something then. Any favourite?" He asks as he makes his way out of the room.

"No." You reply as he disappears.

You want so desperately to climb in bed with Logan and sleep with him but you can't because he has a spinal injury and the tiniest of movement could leave him paralysed.

So you put your head against the edge of the bed, still holding onto his hand and close your ever so tired eyes. In your dreams Logan is well and alive, his hands are running through your hair and across your stomach and every where possible. This Logan is not suicidal, injured or in a coma. This Logan you like.

--

Three days later and no sign of movement from Logan. You left the hospital early last night, figuring you'd go home just that night and sleep in your bed instead of the uncomfortable hospital chair. It didn't work though, you barely slept, if at all. Your mind kept replaying the event that could have killed Logan. Over and over it replays like a scratched record.

Ryan sees you in the hall, your eyes so tired and dull he feels sorry for you but doesn't every body? You've notified Wallace, Weevil, Mac and even Dick of Logan's whereabouts and health issue and they all wish him well but more so you. All of them know what Logan is to you and that if he dies you will die along with him.

The house phone rings Ryan walks past you to answer it. He eyes you intensely, you know he's thinking about how good you look in your little boy shorts and singlet but the most part of you has no energy to tell him off.

"Okay, yes. Alright. Yeah, okay. I'll tell her." Ryan hangs up and faces you.

For a moment you can't read him at all but then he smiles and you _just_ know that was the hospital. He's awake isn't he?

"Logan woke up." The words are like candy to a kid.

"I need to go see him." You tell Ryan, he nods as you quickly shove on some pants and grab a jacket.

He drives as fast as he can to the hospital, you realise he's running risk at being arrested for speeding but you're so thankful for it. As soon as the car pulls up to the hospital entrance you nod and Ryan and smile, getting out and running in the entrance.

You pass numerous wards before you reach the right one. You stand at the desk and wait for a nurse to assist you. Your foot taps annoyingly on the ground and eventually a nurse notices you.

"May I help you?" The older woman asks.

"Logan Echolls, I'm here to see Logan Echolls."

"Ah yes, the coma patient who awoke today. He's been asking for you." She pushes you in the direction of his room and follows you inside to check on him.

Sure enough Logan is laying there, his eyes open watching TV. You can't help but smile at Logan and how happy you are to see his eyes again. He notices you and smiles.

"Veronica." He rasps.

"Logan. I'm so sorry Logan. I'm sorry." You say immediately kissing him.

The nurse checks his chart and notices the two of you. She smiles at the both of you.

"Are you two married?" The woman asks.

"No." You reply. "We're just out of school, really."

"Oh. Well you seem really good together. I hope for your sake it lasts." She says before walking out.

Logan looks at you adoringly. How did you ever give this man up? You have no clue.

--

Logan wakes up late at night, you're barely awake, your head is lying on the side of his bed and you feel his hand reach to touch your hair. You smile and look up, he smiles back.

"I love you." He says.

"I love you too." You whisper back.

"Veronica, about what happened between us…" Logan starts.

"Don't. Not now. We can talk when you get out of here. Not now Logan."

"I want to."

"Please."

"Come back to Neptune with me." He says out of the blue. "You and me. We'll buy a house in the 09 area."

"Do you think that's sane? We broke up not so long ago and I moved to Australia."

"I love you and I want to do this with you. I have the money, I'm just wasting it on hotel bills at the moment, why not buy a house with the girl I love?"

"Because it's crazy."

"If you don't want to just so say."

"Logan, it's not that I don't want to. It's just…well think about it. We fight on a regular basis and buying a house together…well it wouldn't be wise."

"Will you come back to Neptune with me?"

"I can't."

"Please Veronica. I won't be able to do this without you."

You ponder. You want to go back to your friends and back to Neptune but you don't want to leave Ryan, Danny and Nathan.

"Please." He whispers.

"Okay. Okay. We'll go back to Neptune together as soon as you're allowed to fly." You tell him caressing his hand.

"Veronica Mars, one day I'm going to marry you and we're going to have beautiful babies together."

Logan closes his eyes, smiling. You smile back and can't believe that was Logan who just said that.

* * *

Sorry to everyone who has been waiting for an update on this. I've been busy with school and stuff so I haven't had time to update. This chapter is one of the lasts of this story. As much as everyone loves this story I've come to an end and I have written the rest of the chapters and the epilogue. They will be posted within a few weeks. Please enjoy this and don't forget to review.


	15. Finding Solace

When you finally awake late morning you can hear voices in the kitchen. You kind of fix your hair and wrap a robe around your body. As you get closer to the door and hear more clearly you have suspicions of who the people might be. Your suspicions are confirmed when you step out in the hallway and everything goes silent.

Sure enough Mac, Wallace, Weevil, Logan and Dick and in your kitchen each with a coffee in their hand. You walk in, Logan hands you a hot cup of coffee and makes you sit down at the bench.

"What's going on?" You ask, eying everyone.

"Veronica, we all need to talk to you. We'd like if you'd listen to each of us without interruption and at the end you can have your say." Logan says, placing his hand on your shoulder. You nod in agreement.

Wallace stands up.

"Veronica you know I'd never do anything to hurt you, you're like my sister. I'd do anything for you as you know but I'd also do anything to help you. I love you like a sister and if my sister was sick I'd do the same to her." Wallace says sitting back down.

You smile but still don't get what's going on.

"I know we haven't been friends for long but I like you, Veronica. You've always been really cool to me and helped me whenever I needed it. Yesterday you pretty much told me you didn't want to be in my life anymore and I get that you've had a rough year or so but Veronica we all love you. We want to help."

As soon as Mac finishes Dick starts.

"Mac told me about your talk yesterday and maybe I don't agree with you. I mean sure, I've done some shit things, but I'm sorry for them. I'm constantly feeling guilty for what I did and I know that doesn't make up for it but I've found that person I'm supposed to be with, Veronica. Mac is my person. I've changed and I'd like you to be around to see that."

You still hate Dick. Weevil starts.

"V, you've been a great help to me through thick and thin. I've had to deal with problems and yeah life gets tough. I get that more so than anyone maybe. People have to deal, we all have different ways. I dealt with violence, you're dealing with hurting yourself."

You're kind of getting the picture now. You look to Logan and stand up.

"I love you. I love you so much that each time I see you I want to trap you in this little glass box so you'll never be in trouble again and I'll never have to worry about you at all. I know that's not what you want. You don't love me anymore Veronica, I thought maybe we were meant for each other but obviously we're not. No matter what though Veronica I'm always going to be here for you and love you endlessly. Which is why we're all here because we all love and care for you and we want to be here for you. We think you need help Veronica."

"Help for what? Dealing with grief?" You ask.

"That and so much more." Logan starts. "We've looked into a few places and found one for you."

"Found what for me?"

"An institution for people who need mental help." Wallace cuts in.

"You're sending me to a mental institution!?" You yell.

"Veronica calm down. It's only for a month or two. Just to get you back on track." Logan says trying to put his arm around you.

"Don't touch me. Don't you dare touch me, Logan!" You yell at him as you start to hit him.

Dick steps in and holds you back, trying to make you stop.

"Get the fuck of me!" You yell. Dick let's go. "You shouldn't even be here. You fucking raped me, Dick! Why the hell are you here? You don't care, if you did you wouldn't have raped me!"

"Veronica, Dick's trying to help." Mac says.

"Shut up. You're just saying that because you're fucking him." You say spinning to face her. "I hate you Mac, since you've become just another slut on Dick's list."

Wallace grabs you forcefully.

"What the hell has gotten into you, Veronica!"

"Don't you start Wallace! You were supposed to be my best friend! Now you're just another enemy on my list of people to hate."

Weevil gets up and heads for the door.

"And where do you think you're going? Wouldn't you like to put you're other two cents worth in?"

"No. Frankly, V I'm sick of this. I tried to help but if you won't help yourself how can we help you at all?"

He leaves and you spin to Logan.

"What?" You glare.

"This is unbelievable. You've managed to turn everyone you used to love into enemies in less than a week."

"Don't even go there, Logan. For someone who got dumped and then travelled half way around the world only to see his girlfriend fucking another man, you're pathetic and an incredible loser."

He hits you, you fall to the ground and already feel the blood trickling from your lip. Wallace kneels beside you. Logan has traces of tears in his eyes.

"I don't even know what to say to you anymore, Veronica. You're turning into Lilly. I loved her but she was a whore and you know very well that she was."

Logan walks out and slams the door behind him. Everyone left looks at you in disbelief and shakes their head. You can only imagine what they think of you now.

"What are you all still doing here? Get out of my house. Go! Get out! I don't want any of you here anymore!"

They all leave in a hurry. You're left alone.

--

Later that night you're in a bar on your fourth maybe fifth glass of scotch. The bar tender offers you another glass and you nod your head and down the dregs of scotch left in your current glass. He takes the now empty glass away and shakes your head. He never asked for ID.

When you finish that glass soon after and ask for another someone behind you tells him not to but when you turn around to pick a fight with the man you meet face to face with Leo. That soft face that you've missed too much.

"Leo." You whisper.

"What are you doing here, Veronica? You're too young to drink. Why aren't you at home with your dad?"

He helps you up, you stumble clumsily to your feet, clinging onto Leo for support.

"He's dead. He died in a car crash months and months ago."

"Oh. God, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine."

"Where's Logan? Can I take you to his house?"

"We're not together anymore. We've broken up like 6 times in the past 6 months."

Leo takes you over to his car and opens the passenger door as you hop in. He gets in the driver side and helps you with your seat belt. You thank him quietly.

"Is Wallace still around? Maybe I'll take you there. I don't think you should be home alone like this."

"I'm all alone. Wallace, Mac, Logan, Weevil, we're not friends anymore."

He sighs but keeps driving. You feel your consciousness slip from you regularly. In and out of consciousness you only hear dregs of what Leo is saying to you. But by the time he pulls up at your apartment you know he's not going anywhere when he takes you inside.

"Can you walk?" He asks but he's answered his own question before you even have a chance. Leo picks you up and carries you all the way to the door only then forgetting he forgot to ask you for your keys.

"Where are your keys, Veronica?"

"Font left pocket."

He ums and ahs about whether he should search for the keys or not but in the end he has to. His right hand grazes your abdomen and then your hip as he awkwardly pushes his hand inside your pocket in search of your house keys. He finds them and takes you inside.

Leo goes straight to your bedroom and lays you down, you're barely awake by then.

"Are you right to get changed?" He asks but knows your not when you kind of groan.

He contemplates just pulling the covers over you and letting you sleep in your jeans and top but then reconsiders when he thinks how uncomfortable it would be. His fingers carefully glide up your legs and undo the button on your jeans. He unzips the fly, revealing a little bit of your pink panties. His throat goes dry.

"Where's your pyjamas, Veronica?"

Stupid thing to ask a girl who's so wasted she barely knows her name anymore. He ventures to your chest of draws and opens one. He finds nothing but your panties and bras and blushes at the sight of his former girlfriend's underwear. He tries another draw, this time successful and pulls out a pair of flannel pyjamas.

Leo silently takes your jeans off trying so hard not to look at where he so desperately wants to touch. When his fingers meet your silky skin on your thigh he shudders and his pants tighten. He rids you of your jeans and soon your top and then wonders if he should take your bra off.

Personally he's never slept in a bra and doesn't know whether it's uncomfortable or not but he thinks it would be. So he reaches around your back and unclasps the little clasp and takes the material from your chest. His breathing hitches that little bit as he gets a sight of your breasts.

Quickly, afraid you might notice his rapid heart beat and the sudden sweat that's built up on his brow he dresses you in the warm flannel pyjamas and places you under the covers.

His pants are so tight around his groin area now that the blood flow will be cut off soon. He kisses your forehead and leaves the room only to venture into the bathroom and splash cold water on his flushed face. But that doesn't work.

He tries thinking about other things, about his mom or his dog but nothing works. He's got that image of you naked in his mind and the only thing to do is relieve it.

Leo puts the lid on the toilet and sits down. Quietly he takes his pants off and lets them drop to the ground. He feels a bit wrong for doing this in Keith's bathroom especially when it was Keith's daughter who got him this worked up.

Silently his hand clenches around his hardened cock and he groans at the feeling. Imagining all the things he and Veronica could do he pumps himself eventuating into a fast and steady rhythm with an 'oh' or a 'Veronica' every so often.

He climaxes picturing Veronica riding him. His hand covers in sticky white stuff as does a part of the floor and a little bit of the wall. He wipes himself clean (The floor and wall too) and pulls his pants back up, leaving the bathroom and heading to the couch where he'll sleep tonight with images of Veronica playing with him in his mind and no doubt waking up with just a hint of an erection.

--

You've been up for an hour or two before Leo wakes. He looks adorable silently sleeping on the sofa. The smell of coffee must reach his nose because he yawns and his eyes open slowly and he grins when he sees the steam of a fresh cup of coffee coming his way.

When his eyes land on you he blushes and tries not to look. The picture of you almost naked is still raw in his mind. He takes the cup of coffee politely from your hands and thanks you. You nod and pass him a piece of toast.

"How did you sleep?" You ask.

"Fine." With many dreams of you no doubt. "How did you sleep?" He asks.

"Good. I guess I was pretty drunk last night. I don't really remember. I don't even know how I got changed."

"Actually you were passed out. I thought you might be more comfortable if you were in pyjamas instead of jeans and a shirt. I hope you don't mind."

"No. Not at all. I mean it's nothing you haven't seen before right?" You laugh.

He laughs awkwardly but you see the hint of red on his cheeks. When he finishes his cup he walks to the sink to rinse it. You're in his way though and you both get stuck in the limbo, step-right, step-left kind of thing. He smiles and stops.

"Sorry. I thought you were going left so I went right but then you went-"

"It's okay."

You sit down where he slept last night and wait for him to sit with you. When he does you can tell he wants to talk about something important.

"Veronica-"

"I know. I do, really."

"People are worried about you I'm sure. Getting wasted every night isn't a good thing, what if I hadn't have come by the bar last night. You could have driven home and killed yourself or some stranger could have taken you home and done God knows what with you."

You smirk. "Aww, shucks Leo. Didn't know you cared so much."

"I've always cared." He laughs. "Always."

His lips entice you and before your brain processes it anymore you're already moving towards him for a kiss. But as you're just an inch away he stops you.

"You need help." He whispers. "I'm not saying your insane, Veronica." His hands go either side of your face, his thumbs caressing your cheeks softly. "But you just need someone who's trained to deal with this."

Seeing that sympathetic and sad look on Leo's face makes your eyes well up. He sees the tears that silently roll down each of your cheeks and brushes them away with his fingers.

"Please don't cry. I don't mean to make you sad. I care about you Veronica, too much to let you do something stupid and hurt yourself."

"I'm sorry." You sob, leaning your head into his shoulder and wetting his shirt with your tears.

"As a good friend of your dad's Veronica I'm inclined to see what's best for you and help you as much as I can and I think this is what your dad would want. You've dealt with a lot in your life, more than a lot of people go through in their whole life. It's taken its toll and just made the world seem too much for you right now, Veronica. All I want to do is get that happy, mischievous and beautiful Veronica Mars back."

"Why can't I see that when Logan says it? I've ruined everything between me and him, Leo." You sob. Silently, he's thankful that you and Logan could be over for good. That leaves room for him and you. "I don't know where to go or what to do or even who to talk to anymore."

"You can always talk to me." He whispers, his arms wrapping around you.

"I missed you, Leo."

"You too, Veronica."

--

Leo drives you back from an appointment with a therapist, it's silent in the car mostly because neither wants to say something to put the mood off. When you arrive at your apartment Logan's SUV is outside and you see him waiting by his car with a beer in his hand.

You get out and Leo follows, knowing oh too well that what will ensue can only mean an infamous Logan and Veronica fight. Logan's head snaps up when he hears someone coming towards him but his stare softens when he sees you.

"Hi." He says, still leaning against his car.

Leo meets by your side, giving you reassurance this he is here if things turn bad.

"Hi." You reply.

"I'm sorry about the other day."

"Me too."

"It was wrong for all of us to push that on you. It was wrong for me to call them. I should have just sat you down and talked to you myself. I'm sorry for that."

"I'm sorry for yelling at you and everyone else. I was angry and upset."

"I know."

He looks to Leo and Leo nods at him.

"I want to let you know that I'm not giving up though. I don't care whether you hate me, love me and want me dead I care about what goes on in your life."

"You don't need to worry. Leo talked sense into me. I'm seeing a therapist."

Logan looks mildly angry. After all you and Logan were dating and he couldn't get you to see that you needed help and then Leo walks back into your life and it's like nothing was ever wrong.

"Leo? Well…I guess I'm not needed then."

"Logan wait! It's not what you think. I just…Leo was different. I hadn't been around him in a long time and he was just…there. He wasn't you and he wasn't my friends and I just needed someone different. I'm sorry. About everything, about us, about Australia, about the other day."

"I get it. I understand."

He climbs into his SUV and starts the car. You watch as he drives away and you think to yourself maybe you have a chance of being happy again someday.

Leo walks you inside and just as he's about to leave you thank him with a kiss on the cheek that quickly escalates to a kiss on the mouth and then a kiss with tongue. Leo kicks the door shut and hoists you up on the bench, the same bench that started all this mess with Logan.

Memories come back to you.

_He gets to his knees in front of you and smiles mischievously, you know what he's planned._

Leo attacks your neck with his mouth, latching to it like a leech would. He sucks and bites the skin there only eliciting moans from you.

_Your pants are around your ankles now, you kick them off with ease gasping as Logan kisses up your thigh._

Within minutes he's wrapped your legs around his waist and managed to carry you to your bedroom where he drops you on your bed and continues to ravish your neck as you make quick work of getting rid of his clothes.

He too quickly removes your clothes, multi-tasking by kissing you and removing items of clothing without so much as a drop of sweat or hesitation. His fingers glide over your prickled with sweat skin, his mouth finding other places to kiss besides your neck.

_Logan's fingers have moved inside your panties now and you're struggling to keep from moaning._

Leo plunges two fingers inside you, it feels much the same as every other time you've been fingered by either Logan or Duncan or Leo except it's not. There's just no feeling in it.

You roll both of you over and position yourself over his rock hard cock. He groans and calls you a tease as you lick your lips seductively. Within a few seconds he's inside you all the way, grasping your hips. You cry out when he hits _that_ spot inside you.

_His tongue makes its way to your neck and suddenly he's devouring your neck like there's no tomorrow. He finds that spot…that spot that makes you wild when touched in the right way._

Leo moves faster, his hips crashing into yours harder and faster each time. Sweat has built up on both your bodies, mixing together as your skin touches his. His eyes are closed, knowing he's so close to that inevitable high but he wants you to reach yours first.

_Once he's fastened his pace a little you can feel the pleasure start to over come you, you're gripping onto his back so hard that you think you'll leave scars._

He tells you he's close, indicating to you that it's almost over. Leo's fingers leave your hips and meet your swollen clit where he rubs and plays with it as you rock against him and moan his name several times.

You clench around him he gasps at the tightness. He thinks he's never felt someone so tight around him. You think nothing but of Logan.

_It amazes you how skilled he is with his fingers, his tongue…his cock but then again he's, Logan and he's been charming girls into bed since he hit puberty._

That high hits you like bus, you scream out, fingernails digging into his chest. He winces in pain as blood trickles from the small cuts. You rock harder against him, he explodes inside you with a shout of your name but you wish it was Logan who was calling your name out and not Leo.

You lay beside him for sometime after, neither of you say anything. Leo knows this isn't right, he can feel it too. You know it's not Leo who you're mean to be with.

"I-"

"It's cool. Go, really. It's fine. I'll just get dressed and leave." Leo says, already getting up.

"I'm sorry." You say, kissing his forehead and you pull on tracksuit pants and a t-shirt and run out the house to your car.

--

3am you arrive at Logan's hotel room, knocking vigorously on the door. It takes awhile before he answers the door but sure enough he stands there in his boxers with that just woke up look, puzzled at why you're even there.

"I'm sorry. Logan, I'm sorry."

He looks even more puzzled but lets you in anyway.

"I made a mistake, a huge one and I'm here for forgiveness."

"Veronica-"

"I know I was stupid. I should have listened to you. You care for me so much Logan and I should have seen that. We are Epic and I finally understand that. We're always going to fight and have moments where we don't know why we're together but I get that and I wouldn't want it any other way. I love you Logan Echolls and I want to be your wife and have your children."

Before he says another word a barely dressed woman walks out of Logan's room with a dazed look. She's wearing one of Logan's shirts that reaches just past her thighs. You look to her and then him and get what's gone on.

"Veronica this is Mindy."

You have tears in your eyes but you don't want to cry in front of Logan or his skank. You give a fake smile, place your hand on his chest and kiss his cheek.

"Sorry about interrupting your night. Um, I'll see you around. Bye."

Leaving the pair alone you run out the door and into the hallway of the hotel.

--

One chapter left for you all. I've come to a halt in this mainly because what more can I do to them before I have to kill one? Epilogue will be up soon.


	16. Epilogue

17 years later –

It's been almost 17 years since you seen him. That's a long time to go without somebody. You miss him so much, everything about him. The way he blushed when he saw you naked or how he was always shy around you at first.

You're glad he called you 2 days ago. You talked on the phone with him for hours, about nothing in particular. He didn't ask about your life and you didn't ask about his. You decided it was time to see him again and you arranged to have lunch with him 2 days from then.

So you're here. In a tiny little restaurant that has only recently opened. You're sitting at a table for two by the window, glancing at the menu when you hear the chime of the bell on the door and see him walk in looking around for you. He dismisses the lady who asks if he wants a table and heads straight to you with a huge grin on his face.

"Veronica." He says, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

"Leo." You say, kissing his cheek.

How you've missed that hair and his adorable face. He sits down across from you, he can't stop smiling, neither can you.

"God, it's been too long, Veronica."

"I know. It's been almost 17 years you know."

You put down the menu and grab his hand. He let's you.

"I haven't heard from you in so long. Since then actually. We kinda just lost touch, hey?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry about that." You laugh.

"It's alright. I get it."

It's silent but only for a second or two.

"So, what's been going on in your life Leo?" You ask.

He smirks at you. "I got married three years ago. I would have sent you an invite but I didn't know where to look."

"Oh, congratulations. What's her name?"

"Renee."

You nod as the waiter comes over and takes your order. You order chicken, salad and fries and he orders a burger.

"What about you, Veronica? Who's the man in your life?"

You smirk because he already knows the answer to that.

"Logan."

"I know." He laughs. "I figured. How long you two been married?"

"Uh, 16 years this August."

He gives you this huge smile and says something about it being great that it's lasted so long.

"Have kids?" You ask him, sipping your water.

"Yeah, actually. My wife gave birth a few months ago. Baby girl, her names April. Actually I think I might have a picture here…" He says, trailing off as he pulls out his wallet and reveals a picture of a baby with jet black hair.

"She's adorable."

"Thanks."

Leo puts his wallet back in his pocket and looks at you. "Any kids of your own?"

You smile and rummage through your bag and find three recently taken pictures.

"Three." You say laying the photos on the table in front of Leo. "This is Jeremy, my youngest, he's seven." You tell Leo pointing to the picture of Jeremy. "This is Sarah, she's the middle child and she's 11." You move to the next picture. "And this is Emma, the eldest. She's 15."

"Wow, you and Logan have been busy…" He smirks.

You hit Leo playfully and put away the pictures of your three children.

"Shut up." You tell him.

"I'm just joking. Tell me about your kids? There's really not much to tell about mine. She's a few months old, cries, sleeps, vomits, shits, eats, sleeps some more."

You laugh. "Jeremy is your typical boy. He loves his toy cars. Sarah, she's an activist. She wants to be a world peace leader some day because she hates animal cruelty. She's a vegetarian. And Emma, well she's just your average high school girl. She's the captain on her cheerleading squad."

"Sarah is 11 and already wants to be a world peace leader? I don't even think I knew what that was until I was 20." He laughs.

"I know. She's just so smart and bright. She stopped eating meat a year ago and ever since she's been making flyers to ban whaling and cruelty to other animals. She's quite a handful."

"And how's Logan? Still that brooding 'I'll never grow up' kind?"

You both get your meals, Leo digs in immediately.

"He was, for a few months after we got married but then I told him I was pregnant and he grew up so much. He got a good job, always made sure I was at my doctor appointments, he stopped drinking. He was really good."

"That's good to hear. I thought I might have had to go around to yours and beat him up."

You both stop talking while you eat and then afterwards he pays for the check even after you said you'd get it.

"Leo, you didn't have to." You say, walking along the beach with him.

"It's cool. The man should always pay."

He starts talking about his job and his wife and daughter when you notice a girl sitting on the beach in a cheerleading outfit with a boy. At first you don't recognise the girl but as you get closer you recognise that blonde hair.

"Excuse me." You tell Leo, running towards the girl.

"Emma Caitlyn Echolls!" You yell. She stands up quicker than you've ever seen her do and looks mortified.

"Mom. What are you doing here? I thought you were going to Mac's today?"

"It's none of your business where I go or what I do young lady but you are supposed to be in school not on the beach with some boy."

Emma recoils, the boy disappears quickly. You grab your daughter by the arm and pull her over to Leo.

"Leo this is my daughter, Emma. The cheerleader I told you about."

"Oh. Yeah. Hi Emma, it's nice to meet you." Leo says shaking her hand.

"Ew mom. Are you trying to set me up with some 40 year old?" Emma says.

Leo laughs, he finds it hilarious. You find it rude.

"Emma! This is Leo my good friend from when I was in my teens. I'm not trying to set you up with him. And for the record he's not 40 just yet."

Emma blushes a bright red and apologises, Leo just brushes it off as usual.

"I should go." Leo says, looking at his watch.

"Okay. Yeah, I should too. I have to call Logan and tell him about Emma."

"It was nice seeing you, again, Veronica. Don't be a stranger okay? Call me or something soon, we'll have lunch again or you can come over to mine for dinner with Logan and the kids."

"Yeah, sure."

You hug Leo, kissing his cheek and just really embracing him because it had been forever since you seen him.

"Bye, Leo."

He waves at you as he makes his way to his car and you to yours.

--

Logan gets home late at night, around 10pm or so. The kids are in bed and you've been sitting in the study working on a case. He stands in the doorway looking at you.

"You're home." You say.

"I'm home."

"It's late. You should go to bed, you have to be up early."

He walks over to you and picks you up so easily. He carries you up the stairs and all the way into yours and his bedroom before dropping you gently on the bed and kissing you sweetly.

"So should you." He whispers.

You smile and run your fingers through his hair like you've done millions of times before this.

"I had lunch with Leo today." You confess, hoping he won't feel angry.

"Oh. Really? It's been a long time since I've heard about him. I didn't know you still kept in touch with him."

"I didn't. Until the other day. He rang and we organised lunch. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"It's alright. I have nothing to worry about, right?"

"Of course not, Logan." You laugh softly. "We have three kids together and we've been married for 16 years this year. Why would I ever want to get rid of you? I love you."

He smiles and starts kissing your neck.

"I love you too, baby."

"Logan." You laugh, giggling as he kisses all over your neck. "We agreed not to have sex whilst the kids are here. Jeremy almost walked in on us the other night."

"I don't care. I want to make love to you, Veronica Echolls. God, Veronica Echolls. That still sounds weird hey?"

You sit up and kiss him softly. "Not really. I like it."

"I like Veronica Mars. My sexy, investigative Veronica Mars."

"My sexy, brooding Logan Echolls."

Logan ravishes your mouth, his fingers travelling down your body in a familiar way. They glide over you skin and in between your thighs. He stops briefly to pull your panties down to your ankles but then continues his exploration.

Making love with Logan is amazing. But it's not the best thing about your almost 16 years of marriage to him. Everything is in a way, but your favourite thing has been the kids and how he's cared for you and them when you've been sick. He's amazing. Even more so than he ever was.

"I can't imagine my life without you, Veronica." He whispers, slipping inside you and groaning into your ear.

"I can't imagine my life without you." You counter, biting his ear lobe.

And to imagine that it almost didn't happen…

_Before he says another word a barely dressed woman walks out of Logan's room with a dazed look. She's wearing one of Logan's shirts that reaches just past her thighs. You look to her and then him and get what's gone on._

"_Veronica this is Mindy."_

_You have tears in your eyes but you don't want to cry in front of Logan or his skank. You give a fake smile, place your hand on his chest and kiss his cheek._

"_Sorry about interrupting your night. Um, I'll see you around. Bye."_

_Leaving the pair alone you run out the door and into the hallway of the hotel._

_Logan follows after you, running down the hall in just his boxers. You reach the elevator and furiously press the button, wiping at your eyes to eradicate the tears that just won't stop haunting you. _

_He catches up and stops you just as the elevator door opens. You wish he hadn't._

"_Veronica, wait, please?"_

_You get in the elevator but he won't give up. He gets in with you. He talks fast but you hear nothing. Finally when he notices you're not listening he presses the emergency stop button on the elevator and it comes to an abrupt halt._

"_Logan, please. Just let me go."_

"_No. Veronica I love you. God, I love you so much."_

"_Why were you with another girl then, Logan?"_

"_You left me, Veronica for Leo. I wasn't thinking."_

_You can't really be angry at him after all you slept with Leo not more than an hour ago. _

"_I slept with Leo." You whisper, feeling guilty for ridiculing him._

"_That's okay, Veronica. I don't care. All I care about is you and our future. I want to be with you, Veronica. Now, tomorrow and 20 years from now."_

_He gets on one knee and reveals a little blue velvet box from behind his back. You gasp because you know what he's about to do, after all he's asked you twice before. This time is different though, there's a ring and he's on one knee and it's just so perfect in yours and his world._

"_I love you, Veronica Mars. We're not perfect, or close to it. We're everything wrong in a relationship but I don't care about that. We are Logan Echolls and Veronica Mars, we're not some sappy romance novel, we are meant to be Epic. We _are_ epic. Marry me Veronica. Make me the luckiest and happiest guy ever to walk the Earth and do me the honour of being your husband."_

_You have this great big smile on your face, it stretches right across your face and bares all your pearly white teeth. You help Logan up and kiss him passionately, running your fingers through his hair and along his bare back._

"_Yes. Yes. Yes. I'll marry you Logan. I'll be your wife."_

_He picks you up and pushes you against the wall, still holding you and kissing you all the right ways. _

_But no one needs the dirty details, they've seen and heard it all before. It may have been their 20__th__ or 30__th__ time having sex together but this time was different. This was the first _real_ time making love, together as fiancé's._

It's been a long hard road for you and Logan. Things haven't always been easy or the best or even pleasant. Through thick and thin he's always been there for you, no matter what.

To think that this all happened because you thought he was the pizza man with your pizza.

"We are epic, Veronica Echolls, epic in ourselves, our lives, our children, our jobs and our love. There's not one thing about you or I that isn't but I love that about us and our relationship. We're far from the normal and maybe that's what makes us work so well. You're my whole life, my whole fucking epic saga of a life."

With one last kiss on the mouth and a whisper of an I love you, you close your eyes and lean your head against Logan's chest. Tonight you'll sleep well, knowing that even if your life is a dramatic tale of loss, love and lies, you'll be okay with Logan.

You'll finally be okay.

* * *

Well, it's finally over. Sorry to everyone for taking so long to update this, I've been dealing with alot lately. Reviews are really appreciated and might inspire me for a new VM fic.

Deleted chapter will follow epilogue.


	17. Missing Chapter

10 weeks later –

The physical therapist makes another note on her clipboard as she assesses Logan's ability to move. He's been doing well. At first you could see how hard it was, he'd sweat and get worked up over the smallest of things. But now he's walking almost fine with crutches and his bruises have healed, his bones have most mended and his overall health has increased.

She stops Logan as he tries to walk without his crutches and smiles.

"Well done, Logan. You've done a lot today. Wednesday we might try some swim therapy."

"Wednesday?" Logan questions, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"Is there a problem?" She queries as you make your way to Logan's side.

"I was planning on going back to America this week."

"Logan you've had a serious accident. You're ability to move is not at full capacity just yet."

"I know, I know but I just think I'd do a lot better at home with my friends surrounding me. I could take physical therapy there and I can see a psychiatrist and I'll have weekly doctor visits."

"I'm fine for you to go home if you're willing to put in the hard work but it's your doctor you should speak to. See him about it and if he gives you the all clear then come back and see me before you leave and I'll give you a reference notice."

He nods and sits in the awaiting wheel chair. This is your usual routine. He works hard for hours at a time trying to gain his mobility back and then at the end he gets back in his wheel chair and you wheel him up 4 floors to his hospital room.

You smile down at him as you both get in the elevator. He grabs for your hand and kisses it lightly.

"We're going home, Ronnie."

He smiles and you smile back. But you're hiding something that he doesn't know.

--

The doctor gives the all clear for Logan to go home and a few days later you and he are at the airport with Danny, Nathan and Ryan checking your bags in and going through security. Logan carefully makes his way through the crowd on his crutches, the boys helping with his luggage as well as yours.

Ryan stays quiet, he still wants you to stay because he might just love you but you have to be with Logan. You can't leave him now. You make it to security where you are leaving the boys. Nathan hugs you tightly and tells you how much he'll miss you and Danny says something along the lines of that too.

Ryan doesn't.

"Do you have to go?"

"I do. Logan needs me."

"I'm sure he'll be fine without you. Send him on the plane, his other friends will look after him."

"He doesn't have other friends, Ryan. Besides Dick and me he's lonely and Dick's idea of looking after Logan is getting him chicks to fuck and feeding him alcohol."

"Please, Veronica, please. Don't go. I think I might love you and I think you might love me too."

You hug Ryan and kiss his cheek. Your bags go through security as do you and Logan. It's possibly the last time you'll ever see them.

Some time later you both board the plane. It's quiet between you both, neither knows what to say. It'll be your first time back for a long time and Logan's since the accident. He holds your hand and kisses your forehead.

Everything might be okay, you hope.

--

Wallace and Mac picked you and Logan up from the airport. You were greeted with a tight and long hug from Wallace and a somewhat awkward but very friendly welcome back from Mac. Both were surprised at Logan being in a wheel chair.

In the car everything is fast talked. Mac fills you in on the recent crimes and Wallace tells you about his new girlfriend. You casually tell them about your roommates and Logan sort of tells them about his hospital ordeal. No one dares to ask how he's doing. No one dares to ask if you and him are okay.

"Where are we heading? Logan's hotel or your apartment, Veronica?" Wallace asks, only then realising he hadn't asked to begin with.

You look at Logan and he looks at you and shrugs. You decide Logan's hotel would be best.

"Logan's hotel room."

Wallace nods and heads in the direction of the hotel. Mac starts talking about her new job at a huge computer company but you almost completely zone out taking in the sites of Neptune once again.

Wallace pulls up at a red light and you look out your window and straight into a police car. That of Don Lamb's. He doesn't recognise you for moments. Instead he glances at you, his eyebrows fuse together and he turns back to the front. Then he remembers you. He slowly turns back around to face you and a smirk creeps on his face as the green light appears as he heads off.

Not long after that you're almost up at Logan's hotel room. Wallace and Mac help you carry up all yours and Logan's bags and load them into the room. Dick's not there for once and you're glad he isn't. Because as soon as Mac and Wallace leave it's just you and Logan.

Logan finally exasperates once Mac and Wallace have left. He sighs and awkwardly makes his way onto the couch. You go over and help him slightly.

"Thanks." He mutters.

You smile and he pulls you down on top of him. You slightly giggle as he holds you close. He whispers how thankful he is that he has you back and how much he missed this and you smile into him as you rub your hands along his chest.

"Let's never leave each other again, okay? I know we're a mess together, we fight and scream and yell but it kills me each time we break up. Next time I may not survive."

"Logan I really don't want to talk about it."

He grimaces, you get off him and sit besides him. Logan stands up and walks away from you, you see he's in pain and offer to help but he dismisses your help and continues his painful walk to his bedroom.

A few minutes later he comes back out, hobbling towards you. You go to stand up but he tells you to sit down again. When he reaches you he looks like something is wrong.

"Logan what's wrong?" You ask.

"Please just shut up for 5 minutes okay?"

You nod.

"I've known you for a long time, since we were 12. I've watched you grow and learn and seen you go through hard times. I know it's hard to talk about but Lilly was a major part of our lives and maybe that's what brought us together to begin with. I was so desperate for her and you were the closest I could come to Lilly. But I realised that you're not like her at all."

"Logan where is this going?"

"Shut up Veronica. I've often wondered what would come of us in the future, would we keep this on going breaking up and making up charade? I don't know because I can't predict the future. I know one thing Veronica, I'm certain of this, that I love you and I will for years to come. So I'm asking one more time, maybe not tomorrow or next week or next year or even 4 years after that but one day Veronica Mars, will you do me the greatest honour of being my wife?"

You sit there in absolute shock. Sure, Logan has asked you to marry him once before but you said no and ran away to Australia. You want to say yes and make Logan happy but you're not sure if this is what you want. Do you want to marry Logan Echolls who you're most certain your future will be less than perfect.

"Logan…"

He stops you and leans down to kiss you, he winces and tenses as he does.

"Veronica, I know in that past I've done some things you don't approve of. Dick and Duncan for starters. But I love you and I was just trying to protect you."

"I know that. I know, Logan and I understand, it's just who you are."

"So then marry me. Let's spend the rest of our lives together."

You smile but inside your heart you know it's fake.

"Yes. I'll marry you, Logan."

He collapses on the couch beside you and wraps his arms around you. Logan holds you tightly.

"Do you want to have sex?" He whispers in your ear as he kisses your neck.

Honestly, the question confuses you. It's been many months since you'd experienced that once pleasurable feeling of Logan inside you.

"Um. I guess so. It's been awhile. Are you sure you're up to it? I mean you can barely walk, Logan."

He pulls his head back and looks at you puzzled.

"Do you even want to have sex with me?"

"Logan. Of course I do. I'm just thinking about your health. I don't want you to hurt your back or your leg or any part of you. I don't think it's wise that we do it just yet. What if I hurt you?"

He laughs. That throaty, gorgeous strictly Logan Echolls laugh.

"Veronica, trust me, you will not hurt me. Having sex with you is like sampling heaven."

You agree to have sex and follow him as he hobbles to the bedroom. It's not long before he's shut the door behind you both and is quickly making work of your clothes. Within 5 minutes you're naked and within another 5 minutes so is he.

"Do you want me to be on top?" You ask softly.

"That'd be a help." He smiles, kissing you.

He lies down on the bed and brings you forward with his eyes.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you." You whisper as you straddle his hips lightly.

His hand reaches in between you and his fingers run across your slick pussy. You stroke him slowly eventually your head dips down and you suck his cock for a minute or so.

"Oh God." He groans, pushing your head farther down.

You pull back and straddle his cock, it enters you slowly but surely and pushes deep within you. You give a little pleasured cry but you feel nothing but pleasure for the feeling. Nothing for Logan. It's just not the same.

"Are you okay?" He questions, seeing the distant look in your eyes.

"Fine."

You ride him until his climax reaches him and he explodes inside you. You fake your own and roll off him. He kisses your forehead and smiles.

"I love you, so much. We're going to get married. Can you believe it? Married."

"I know." You smile fakely.

You miss Ryan.

What? No you don't. You don't miss Ryan. Not at all. Do you? Of course you do. He wasn't Logan. That's why you miss him right?

--

Sitting with Mac at breakfast at your apartment as she rambles on about some new computer she got your mind wanders. She keeps talking oblivious to the fact that you're not listening to her. You keep thinking. You're thinking about your future, whether it be with Logan or not it's bleak right now.

Mac punches your arm, you glare at her.

"What was that for?"

"You weren't listening to me!"

"Yes I was." You lie.

"Okay, then what did I say?"

"You were talking about a new computer you bought. There."

Mac rolls her eyes. "That was like 10 minutes ago Veronica! I was telling you about my boyfriend."

"Wait…step back. You have a boyfriend?" You ask, all of a sudden interested.

"Yes. You know him. I'm actually asking for your approval. I mean I know what he did was so not cool Veronica but he's really sweet to me. I know sometimes he can be well a real dick, but I like him a lot."

"Who are you talking about?" You ask, not catching on.

"Dick. I'm talking about none other than Dick Casablancas."

"Are you sure? Because the Dick I know is never sweet. He raped me. Not to mention helped his brother rape me."

Mac looks down. You forgot about her heart break over Cassidy Casablancas. But for some reason you don't even care. It's like you left old Veronica back when your dad died and this new, bitchy spiteful Veronica is left.

"I know, Veronica. I'm sorry about what happened I really am but you were gone and I had no one and Dick was kinda just there. Especially after Logan went after you he had no one as well. We kinda just talked and it escalated into more. We've been going out for awhile now and he hasn't even asked to have sex with me."

"Mac this is Dick Casablancas we're talking about. Let's not pretend he's sweet and kind. All he's out for is sex. The only long term real relationship he's had was with Madison and all they did was have sex."

"He's sorry about what he did to you, Veronica. He's been in therapy, he can't sleep properly he's on all this medication because he's so guilty and ashamed. I'm not asking you to forgive him I'm just asking you to say it's okay that I date him. Which is crazy because I don't even need your approval but I thought I'd be a good friend and ask you instead of just springing it on you."

"I'm saying no. I don't approve. Dick Casablancas is nothing but a horny self centred jerk who thinks only with his penis and not his actual brain. Dick tormented me all the way through high school, he helped his brother rape me and then he himself raped me. No. No and no. I do not approve at all."

Mac gets up and picks up her bag from the floor. She's furious at you and she does have a right to be but you don't know why you're acting like this.

"I don't know what happened to Veronica Mars but when she comes back let me know."

She slams the door on her way out but you're not done with her. You have all this pent up rage and hate for something or someone. So you open the door and run down to catch up to her.

"I am Veronica Mars. I'm sorry if I've had to deal with the death of my father, being raped, my boyfriend trying to murder my ex boyfriend and then my boyfriend attempting suicide but I've toughened up Mac and so should you. Life isn't a bowl of candy it fucks you over. So what if I don't approve of Dick? There's a hundred of them out there find another one and date him."

"You're a real bitch Veronica. I know you're dealing with a lot in such a little time but we're supposed to be friends and friends tell each other things. All you've done is shut everyone around you out. You ran away to fucking Australia without telling anyone but Wallace and Weevil, I didn't even know until Logan said he was flying over."

"I had to leave! I had to. I couldn't be here with my dad's death looming over me. You don't understand."

"I don't understand!? I don't understand!? Jesus Christ Veronica, my boyfriend blew up a bus load of kids and left me naked in a hotel room whilst he was up on a roof ready to shoot my best friend! He committed suicide the same night we were supposed to have our first time! I loved him! I fucking loved him, Veronica!"

"He was your boyfriend, not your dad."

"Yeah well I was your best friend now I'm not. Grow up, Veronica Mars and when you do don't find me."

She walks off and into her car, you watch as she drives speedily around the corner.

Who have you become Veronica?

--

Logan rang you 15 minutes ago, telling you that he was on his way to yours from therapy. You don't want him here but how do you tell your fiancé you don't want him around…at all.

Since then you've ate your weight in chocolate cake and then you stuck your fingers down your throat and threw it back up. You've changed three times, drank two glasses of your dad's scotch and applied make up twice.

He knocks on the door and opens it immediately without you saying to come in. He finds you on the couch curled up in a ball with your eyes closed and tears wetting your cheeks. He makes his way over to you, his walking stick by his side and he sits in the arm chair next to the sofa.

"Veronica? Are you okay?"

"I can't." You whisper, shaking your head.

Logan brushes his hand over your messy hair.

"Can't what baby?"

"I just can't."

"Sit up please, Veronica. Let's talk."

You shakily sit up but you keep your eyes stuck to the ground.

"What's wrong?" He softly asks.

"I can't do it. I can't."

"Veronica I can't help unless you tell me what's wrong." He laughs.

"I can't do…do it. I can't. I cannot. No."

He takes a more serious tone. "Veronica, please. Tell me what's wrong."

Quickly you pull the sleeve of your jacket up your arm and show him the several large cuts on your arm that have stopped bleeding now but look like they had been bleeding a lot.

"Fuck. Maybe we should take you to the hospital, Ronnie."

"No. Please. No. I can't."

"What can't you do, Veronica?" He asks, growing impatient.

"This. Us. Me. Life."

"Us? You're…you're breaking up with me again?"

You nod, your eyes darting anywhere but where his eyes are. He chokes back tears.

"Let me put antiseptic on these." He says, going straight to your bathroom and getting out the first aid kit.

"Don't you hate me now?" You ask softly as he returns.

"I'll never hate you Veronica. Angry at you, furious, frustrated maybe. But I can never hate you. Even if I did I can't leave you here like this. I'll take you around to Mac's."

"Mac hates me. I yelled at her because she wants to date Dick."

"I'll take you to Wallace's then."

"No. Please. I want to stay here."

He sighs.

"I'm staying too then." You see faint drops of tears pass his cheeks.

He picks you up with ease and takes you to your room where he puts you in bed. When he leaves you hear him on the phone. You can't make out quite what he's saying but you're positive you hear Wallace's name and then Mac's and then hospital. You're too exhausted to even protest to whatever he's suggesting.

* * *

This is a missing chapter, it fits in somewhere I'm just not where. I must have just forgotten to upload it. Sorry!


End file.
